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My mother is a vulnerable disabled elder with comorbidities. I am concerned about her (and myself ) in the home with nurses/caregivers who don't follow CDC guidelines. I am not sure if its ok to ask what cautions she might be taking on the holiday. Should I ask the agency? My mom really likes this lady so I don't want to create waves but I am also concerned about her decision to travel and celebrate at two different houses this year with children ..cousins etc. Thanks!

If your aide is going to be away spending Thanksgiving with a lot of people, then she will have to quarantine for two weeks after she gets back. Make sure she knows this and that the agency she works for knows too. If they're a decent and competent homecare agency (which are extremely rare), they will send a fill-in to take care of your mom while her regular aide is quarantining. Let them know now that you're requesting a fill-in aide for two weeks.
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Kristilynn Nov 19, 2020
I believe that is how Im going to handle this situation. Thanks.
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It’s sad all around. I hope that your family will be safe during this holiday season.

All of us should be as cautious as possible to avoid the risk of Covid.

Let’s hope this vaccine will lead us in the right direction and that people will take it.

I wonder how many people will refuse to take the vaccine. No one can be forced into taking a vaccine. It’s optional.

I suppose that probably quite a large number of people have concerns about receiving the vaccine.

I can’t wait for 2020 to end. Wishing happier and safer times ahead for all of us.
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Takincare Nov 19, 2020
I'm cooking for 8, only serving 2 in my home. Doing a porch drop off for my son and his family and also for my sister (who is in high risk due to finishing up radiation treatment)and her fiance. Quick call, foods here from the car, quick wave goodbye and home we go. Will miss spending time with the family and grandchildren but better safe than sorry. Other sisters cooking for their families. Something small I can do for them. Beside you can only eat so many leftover turkey sandwiches 🤣. Hope everyone has as good of a holiday as possible.
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just tell her for the sake of your mother's health she will need to quarantine per CDC guidelines - which I believe is 14 days.
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IamAmy Nov 25, 2020
That’s a perfect statement MsRandall. Short and to the point. Good advice.
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I'd fire anyone that uncaring about her health and everyone she she comes in contact with. There are going to be a lot of deaths just before Christmas.
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jacobsonbob Nov 24, 2020
..and there will probably be many more in January, due to both Christmas and New Year's celebrations--and drunken drivers will only make up a small percentage of them compared to other years!
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I’m a caregiver for a 77 yr old lady with Alzheimer’s and heart failure. I’m not ready to live with myself if I contracted covid from a large gathering and gave it to her. I’ve been telling my family for the last month or so that i cannot attend Thanksgiving this year. What I’ve done over the last week is to visit my kids individually with precautions in place, we had a wonderful time, had turkey and all that but it was just me and one of my children at a time. We are secure enough in our love for each other that sacrificing a thanksgiving, without my presence, is not going to do any harm to our family and it could very well save a life. My client’s daughter asked me about my thanksgiving plans. I wasn’t offended at all. She asked me to let her know if I changed my mind and attended my family’s thanksgiving and asked if I’d be willing to wait 2 weeks before returning following a negative test. Again I was not offended, I told her that I had no intention of attending but that yes I would let her know if that changed and I would isolate two weeks and test. I can’t think of a more irresponsible action than a caregiver who knowingly puts herself at high risk of contracting covid and possibly carrying it unaware to an already vulnerable individual. Imagine if that person we promised to take care of died because we weren’t willing to sacrifice one thanksgiving day. Wow.
Talk to her. I think she will understand your concern but if not, you might need to look for a more responsible caregiver.
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jacobsonbob Nov 24, 2020
Amy, thanks for setting an excellent example!
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Covid19 is real. Is it hyped up by the media, sure. But the crux of the matter is, the virus can be a deadly thing for many people. I have a friend who's in her early 30's with 2 young children. No preexisting conditions, no co-morbidities. She's a medically trained EMT, in fact, who caught the virus from her boss who came to work in spite of the fact that his wife was sick with the virus. He wore a cloth mask; she wore a medical grade mask; they sat together in a smallish office for a 30 minute meeting. She got sick 3 days later; masks are approximately 70% effective; 3 out of 10 people caught the virus with BOTH parties wearing masks in that office.

She was hospitalized for 5 days, not on a ventilator.........she narrowly avoided it, fortunately. She was released about 12 days ago; here is what she updated me with today, for those who would like a first hand glimpse into the life of a Covid survivor:

"Recovery is slow. I’m feeling impatient with how long it’s taking. I started getting insurance paperwork in the mail and it’s hard to read. “Acute Respiratory Failure with hypoxia” was my diagnosis. I read my EMS report, and it was similarly stark.

I’m not sure if it’s because I’m finally rehydrated or if it’s a part of the natural healing process but I have been crying on and off all day. When I think about how I was infected .... it feels like a violation, a betrayal.

In my brain, I know he didn’t do it on purpose, but it was such a blindingly terrible and unsafe decision.... that I can’t reconcile it in my heart.

He almost orphaned my children.

When the ambulance was on the way, I got out my big emergency book. The one with all the documents/phone numbers/guardianship papers/will, because I wasn’t sure when/if I would be coming back. I pulled out the emergency cash and one of my high limit credit cards, and went over with my 15 year old what I thought she needed to know in case things went bad. I showed her the insurance accounts and described who to hand the papers to.

I know in my brain, things are on the mend. And I know I’m just going through an acute stress reaction, but knowing it doesn’t make it feel any better. I’ve had to take Ativan almost every night since I came home because I wake up short of breath... and my body remembers.

When I was 15, I was intubated following a medical crisis. I remember waking up a week later on a ventilator and that first heavy breath.... where your diaphragm wants more air but your lung tissue says no. It’s like breathing through concrete. That feeling has woken me every night since I’ve been home, and I need a sedative to slow my racing heart down.

I want to be back to normal. My body is still so weak and achy. I’m still having fevers a couple times a day and need my inhaler 4-5 times per day. I’ve lost about 1/4-1/3 of my hair. I am making progress, it’s just painfully slow. I can finally brush my teeth without sitting in a chair. And I made dinner for the kids tonight, without having to sit down.

The thing that gets me through is the resilience of the kids and the gratefulness for my friends and family.

The girls seem to be recovering well, lots of snuggling, all day every day. They were both presumed positive, but only had mild cold symptoms.

My friends have been bringing food and texting me every day. I’m overwhelmed by their kindness and generosity. One of the girls even collected money and paid for the boarding we did with the dog.

I’m just ready to be back to normal. I’m going to need to see a counselor before I go back to work, or I’m going to have a meltdown. "

For those who are calling us 'sheeple' and have other derogatory things to say about how we choose to handle ourselves during this pandemic, you might glean a bit of knowledge yourselves from this post.

Whatever you do, stay safe & keep others safe.
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Shane1124 Nov 27, 2020
Thank you for this. I have heard that recovery is slow with fatigue being the worst over many days. This account is very helpful.
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Absolutely be concerned. Call the agency. You have every right to the safety of your mom.

If it were me, I would ask the agency what kind of testing will they be requiring of their employees after Thanksgiving, It is risky.

Don't blame you.
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Kristilynn Nov 20, 2020
That's good advice. Thanks!
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Let the Cafegiver and the agency know of your concerns and tell her once she gets back you would like her not to come around for 14 days and during the 14 days, use a different Caregiver.
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I'd be concerned about any caregiver coming after Thanksgiving. Agencies aren't going to restrict their workers as to Thanksgiving activities -- they can recommend, but they can't enforce.

Too many people in the U.S. plan to ignore the guidelines to have household-only Thanksgiving celebrations. Did you see the survey? So I wouldn't assume the fill-in caregiver will be any better!
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Kristilynn Nov 20, 2020
I'll be the fill in..not my favorite work but its the safest!❤
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Immediate family only for Thanksgiving, brother that lives an hour away asked if long time friend can join us and my reply was NOOO. There will be only six of us, we will 6 feet social distance. Two tables set up in adjoining rooms with masks worn before and after dinner. When the pandemic first started I refused my brother entrance to our house and mother. Told him window visit only, felt bad about that. I let the RN do home visits. why not my brother. He is very good, easy going and was ok with it. I think he is looking forward to spending time with all of us. I hope each and everyone of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Please stay healthy and thank you all for your support on this Forum. You are really great people.
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Snowcat60 Nov 24, 2020
Such a good. Good grief! I’m only 60 and am truly astounded by how many sheeple live among us.
‘It’s a virus! Believe it or not we’ve been coexisting with them since the dawn of man.
‘People need to turn OFF the televisions and actually use their brains and whatever common sense they may possess.
‘This is beyond ridiculous!
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