I really like my in laws but it is sort of strange that they look at me as some sort of guru. My brother and I managed home care for both our parents until their last breath but we were close by and physically able to do the work and supervise the 24/7 care that became necessary. My husband is disabled and really can't do the work but we have supported my SIL who took it on herself to do everything she could to keep FIL in his home. I have to say that she has been fantastic beyond any expectations. She lives 250 miles away and comes at least once a month and makes an additional trip if needed.
The current situation is beyond what I dealt have had to tell them, I DON'T KNOW! He has been living alone and a wonderful neighbor woman has been willing to check in on him 2x/day, set up his meds, takes him to appointments and recently helped us disable his vehicle. We pay her but she objects.
He is 95, has macular degeneration, won't use his hearing aides, lost his license, but recently drove himself 15 miles on a state highway to get his second COVID vaccine. His local CG was frantic when she went to take him and he and his vehicle were no where to be found. Thank God he made it home without incident. You rightfully wonder why we hadn't disabled it before. He liked to drive it from the carport to the next door parking lot so that he could sit in the sun during the winter months. Until this last incident, that is all he did.
So now he fell trying to get out on the porch to sit. It took the help of a deputy to get his cooperation to go to the ER. From there, he was admitted. No serious harm from the fall, but lab work showed that he probably had a mild heart attack and pneumonia. After 3 days he transferred to a rehab facility where he has become combative and wants to leave...they have found him on the floor 2x in as many days but no damage. We can't go see him thanks to Covid precautions so he only sees strangers and thinks he has been kidnapped. All of this is beyond me. I am thinking we will never see him alive again. Do any of you have words for this? I am at a loss.