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I have worked for the family for 2 years. Excellent people. Son is a fireman, never available. In the 2 years saw them 5 times. Gives me 5 star reviews.


He promised this and that. The place I placed her or he decided to choose is very good.


He cut my hours from 40 to 2 saying he cannot afford me. Before 2 days before he promised total smooth transition with me helping her 10 hours a week.


This is not about me but it is. I was never charging much because I am wanting to change the way assisted living need desperately just like hair salons, nail salons. They need private companions they can pay for companionship.


The mother with Alzheimer's says I need an attorney to get the power of attorney reversed so I can sell my condo and pay you. That is simple not bad Alzheimer's, she is hurt because her son is not returning her calls


I am there obviously more than 2 hours because he asked me to make sure she is showered. He NEVER ANSWERS her calls.


It has been frustrating. I walked in today and the assisted living nurse said where is Bryan. I did not know. The next thing I know I hear they are out until the 30th. On vacation.


No communication with their mother. She is obsessively calling him.


As a caregiver I know she feels so abandoned by him. He told me at one point he did not want me to take her out for anything that costs money. They have money. The son doesnt want to have to sell mothers house.


What do I do?


I will not abandon a person suffering and have the means barely to volunteer for her.


Sandwich generation kids are in early mid 40's mother is 72.

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Sadly, unless you can work for free...you must move on.

go get another job. When you have a firm start date...

send, email or text, your resignation. Set a very specific date that will be your last. Put this into helicopter sons lap.
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I can see where he is coming from. An AL is very expensive. Having you there 40hrs a week puts another 1600 a month on top of that cost, if ur being pd $10 an hour. He knows Moms finances, u don't. By having you there your client is not really adjusting. She should be making friends with the other residents. Enjoying the activities.

It would be very unprofessional of u to become her POA. Especially since she is suffering from a Dementia. I think its time to move on. She is in a safe place that will care for her.

I think its up to the AL to inform the son that he needs to keep them in the loop to when he won't be available.
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I reread your post. An AL is responsible for bathing the resident if in the care agreement. You need to tell him if you leave, Mom is not capable of this and he will need to pay extra for her care. It may be time for the AL to reevaluate Mom. See what her needs would be without you. Then give him the cost. It may be cheaper to keep you on.
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Your heart is in the right place however it is up to the son to make the decisions. The AL facility and the son have a care plan and it is evaluated as necessary. If her needs change the care plan will change too. As far as the son goes - he has probably "detached". It has probably become too painful for him to be around his mother even by phone. She may be there physically - however he has since realistically lost her. That is truly painful and as a human being some of us as a coping mechanism detach as a form of self preservation. I agree with the rest. It is time for you to move on to your next journey. And thank you for your service to her if no one else tells you.
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