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I have a childhood friend who lives on the opposite coast (3 hour time difference). She calls me at all hours of the day and night and simply refuses to listen to call me between certain hours. She gets furious if I don't answer the phone and accuses me of running all over the place when in fact I am stuck with the virus for almost four months. I am sick and tired of telling her to respect my rules for calling times but she won't listen. She is 89 and I assume losing it. Short of killing the friendship, what do I do to get her to "behave". I asked her son to intervene but so far nothing has worked. I don't answer the phone and sometimes shut it off but it is maddening when she calls at midnight. Any suggestions? I don't like to turn the phone off too often but she is making me furious right now.

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Unfortunately you can't stop her calling. But you CAN only answer only when it suits you. Actions speak louder that words!

Set your 'do not disturb' times on your mobile phone or volume down at night if landline.

The trick is being ok with ignoring her calls when you want to. I bet if you don't answer she just tries the next person on her list anyway.

If she really does expect you to be there & answer ANY time it suits HER (but not you) then she has become unreasonable.
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PB has a very good point. My mom, with dementia, and in the SAME time zone would call multiple times between 2 and 4 a.m. She didn't know where she was and was usually frightened when this happened. Multiple times because she didn't remember she had just called ten minutes before.

I turned off the phone.
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I suggest you return the favor by calling her at 6 am YOUR time which makes it 3 am HER time. Do it everyday until she gets the point.

Another thought, maybe your friend has some cognitive impairment like dementia. Some people with this disease like to make multiple calls constantly to the same people and they have no concept of what is the appropriate time to call.
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My friend did the same thing too. She text me, sailor words.... yap yap yap.. How dare you .. WHY CANT YOU RESPECT ME. ...

any lil noise wakes her up.. God forbid I call her too =early too... ESPECIALLY IF I CALLED HER TOO LATE THE NIGHT BEFORE .. LOOK OUT... YIKES? :)

But then again, what can she do? I kinda chuckle about it. I get it. Do not call before 10 am PST, and do not call after 5PM PST, which will be around 8 pm EST.

send her a laminated card (Office depot can help you). write down: or text it.:]

IF FRIEND IS IN PACIFIC AND YOU ARE ON THE EAST COAST: GUIDLINES TO CALL BACK EAST.

DO NOT CALL BEFORE 11:00 AM PACIFIC TIME. DO NOT CALL AFTER 5:00 PM PACIFIC TIME. HERE IS YOUR SLOT OF TIME TO CALL ME. THANK YOU.IF YOU DO CALL ME, AND I AM BUSY, I WILL SHOOT OVER A TEXT PREMADE: IM BUSY, I WILL CALL YOU LATER. DIRECT IT TO VOICEMAIL.
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