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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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If this person is cognitively able (and willing) have him/her call social services for their county to discuss options. They are too young for Medicare but may qualify for Medicaid and disability. They probably won't like the idea of facility care but they don't get to decide what you do with your time and life. Sounds like you are already in burnout and it won't improve without outside help.
It is my ex-wife but we are really great friends now. It's been 8 months since this has happened and 11 dr. Later we still don't know she is on Medicade and SSI. She's talked about leaving but everything around here you have to pay allot. And she has a small device dog. Of 13 years. She has no problem talking with someone she already has an advocate thru her health insurance.
They don't know what is going on she has had 22 doctors look at her, nothing. She is on SSI. She has been like this for 8 months and I'm afraid of they don't come up with a diagnosis or won't be treatable
What you do about your disabled love one is based ENTIRELY of who this person is to you. So please do tell us more about your circumstances, so that we can give an intelligent reply.
When she applied for Medicaid and SSI was it suggested she try for Social Security Disability? With SSD she will get Medicare.
Have you checked with Medicaid to see if she can get in home services? She may need to apply for Medicaid Longterm care in a facility if she can't care for herself.
Jeannemi, I'm reposting what you wrote in a response to me so that others can see this detail:
"She is on ssdi they say it's to young for Medicare she has applied for long term care waiting back dr is not siatic, full MRI back Nevers look great MRI of head no MS but 2 active white lessions Monday is discussing several X-rays, multi bloodwork, emg for nerves in legs-good, infectious disease making sure there want a "monster" inside, 3 MRI declined due to bad dr no clinicals to follow up on reason why needed. She really doesn't want to reli on me. She asks me for help in the AM and pm then once in the day. She was very independent and this has brought her to her knees becoming very humbling and embarrassed and angry"
You have participated in the forum with answers to our questions and our suggestions. But from all I read from you it is quite clear that we here as a Forum of caregiving strangers cannot be of help to you. I am afraid you are stuck "in the system" and will have to ask her SSI workers for social services help. I don't see any answers here to give you.
Has a neurologist mentioned a rare movement disorder called MSA ( multiple system atrophy ) ? It hits people in their 5O’s or 60’s. Lose ability to walk within a few years of onset as well as lose control of bladder and bowel . There can be other symptoms as well . There is no cure for MSA unfortunately .
As an old Ortho nurse I cannot remember which disc it is, but there is one that, when it goes and does the nerves bad, does cause incontinence. I THINK it might be around L-7? But easily looked up online I think. That this person is completely disabled and incontinent in mid 50s? It is entirely neglect not to have the MRI. On to another doctors, I think.
You say this is your ex-wife. The truth is that you cannot take this on. Yes, she is a dear friend now, but you cannot be responsible for every dear friend that goes completely helpless and w/c bound. It is up to the medical team now on her SSDI to work on what the future will hold. Other than being her friend and listening I think you should refrain from a whole lot other, as the needs will be 24/7 and endless.
I am so sorry this has happened but leaving her without the FULL testing would be negligent; and this could go on for four decades more. You cannot allow it to eat you alive.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Do you live with this person?
If this person is cognitively able (and willing) have him/her call social services for their county to discuss options. They are too young for Medicare but may qualify for Medicaid and disability. They probably won't like the idea of facility care but they don't get to decide what you do with your time and life. Sounds like you are already in burnout and it won't improve without outside help.
More information from you would be very helpful.
So please do tell us more about your circumstances, so that we can give an intelligent reply.
Have you checked with Medicaid to see if she can get in home services? She may need to apply for Medicaid Longterm care in a facility if she can't care for herself.
"She is on ssdi they say it's to young for Medicare she has applied for long term care waiting back dr is not siatic, full MRI back Nevers look great MRI of head no MS but 2 active white lessions Monday is discussing several X-rays, multi bloodwork, emg for nerves in legs-good, infectious disease making sure there want a "monster" inside, 3 MRI declined due to bad dr no clinicals to follow up on reason why needed. She really doesn't want to reli on me. She asks me for help in the AM and pm then once in the day. She was very independent and this has brought her to her knees becoming very humbling and embarrassed and angry"
Lose ability to walk within a few years of onset as well as lose control of bladder and bowel . There can be other symptoms as well .
There is no cure for MSA unfortunately .
You say this is your ex-wife. The truth is that you cannot take this on. Yes, she is a dear friend now, but you cannot be responsible for every dear friend that goes completely helpless and w/c bound. It is up to the medical team now on her SSDI to work on what the future will hold. Other than being her friend and listening I think you should refrain from a whole lot other, as the needs will be 24/7 and endless.
I am so sorry this has happened but leaving her without the FULL testing would be negligent; and this could go on for four decades more. You cannot allow it to eat you alive.
🙏❤️🍀
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