I hate Christmas! I always have for as long as I can remember. Am I alone in these feelings or do I have company?

I used to feel that way until the family decided that there would be no gifts exchanged, this took a lot of stress off of me. We all just got together and did potluck dinner and visited with each other. The little guys got to play with each other and for those who weren’t close by it gave a chance to reconnect with family.

I beleive christmas should be a relaxing time not stressful !! So if your mother in law is in a wheelchair and can not walk then do not go to the trouble bringing her home actually she probly would rather stay at her home and have a nice short visit with her at her home bring a little take out food or see if you can eat lunch with her at her facility Its very hard on elderly to be taken out of their regular routine and home even for a few hours do not do it tooo much work just visit her and the rest of the family can do the same.Its too overwhelming to have too much company at one time just family take turns visiting mom and have your own christmas the way you wish to. Do not worry about the family they probly feel exactly the same way and most of the tome you can even make christmas visits on another day instead of christmas

If you talk to psychologists you will learn that there are many many people who share your hatred of enforced family time and fake gaiety imposed by Holiday expectations.

That is why there is a very high rate of suicide around the Holidays. It is because of all the advertisements that show happy families.

Not all families are function. In fact most families are dysfunctional to some degree. It is the matter of degree that makes the difference between someone wanting to visit their family, and hating to visit them.

Do your parents lay guilt trips on you about visiting. Do they refuse to apologize for their mistakes, do they demand respect while failing to be respectful to you.

If that is the case, you will be justified in choosing not to visit because all the above behaviors are abusive.

Do you have family members that you do enjoy spending time with?

If so, contact them and try to spend time with them.

Do you have friends you enjoy being with. If so, spend time with them.

It takes an independent thinker to admit that Christmas is not all it's cracked up to be in the advertisements and commercials.

I am disabled. I used to love Christmas until my late parents became ill, and passed away. I miss our traditional Christmas and the togetherness. Now that they are not here anymore, I am somewhat depressed during the holidays. However, I know that my late mom wouldn’t let me spoil my Christmas and would like me to spend time with my primary caregiver, and her kids because Mom loved to celebrate Christmas with me.

So, try not becoming the Scrooge and celebrate Christmas your own way by praying to Jesus. Remember, Christmas is to celebrate Jesus Christ... a lot of people forget about that!

I feel the same as you do.Just coast through it,..knowing that,
"And this too shall pass" It's a rough time of the year for ALOT of folks, so know you are not alone :)

Hi Gershun! First, congratulations on facing your feelings honestly! That's an important first step in setting yourself free from the misery of this particular holiday. (Mine is a different holiday, but I do have a similar problem!) Now, take a deep breath and decide how you DO want to spend the day - or the season. My little family (husband, 2 kids) decided to forego the burden of a huge traditional extended family get-together (30 people or so) on Thanksgiving Day and drive 2 hours to an awesome restaurant for our turkey dinner! We've done it several years now and the kids love it. We hike along a peaceful river afteeward and just chill. I don't like the stress, the crowds, the clean-up, so this works great for us. On Christmas Day we have snacks and cookies available and have a casual "open house" for anyone who wants to drop by throughout the day. I hope this helps. Just do whatever works for you. It's okay to take care of yoyrself!

Do you have a friend who shares your feelings? Then become unavailable, go out of town (or say you are) and go out for Chinese food or to a movie. Who said even if you believe it God you can't celebrate in your own way and skip the family drama? I suspect you are an adult. Adults get to make their own decisions.

I feel the same as you do.Just coast through it,..knowing that,
"And this too shall pass" It's a rough time of the year for ALOT of folks, so know you are not alone :)

HEAVENS NO! You are NOT wrong in your feelings. If you see Christmas for what it really is, you can understand your feelings better. I used to work for a retail store that was owned and operated by a large Jewish family. As we all know, Jews as a group do not celebrate Christmas. I was one of the few non-Jews that worked there. The big joke among them was that they would all gather around the cash register on Christmas morning and sing "What a Friend We Have in Jesus."
The fact is that Christmas has become concept with so many hidden agendas - one such agenda is to drive the economy and another to combat depression during a time when the days are getting shorter and most of them are gray and either rainy or snowy. This is a false concept because after Christmas, the nation's suicide rate soars as people discover that they are in deeper straits than before, having spent money on gifts and revelries instead of paying bills and keeping previous debts under control.
In addition, it is an excuse to party and a way for many people who have zero piety, to "pretend" to be good Christians when they do nothing Christ-like the rest of the year.
When we also realize that Christmas is not really about the birth of Jesus because we can simply do the math and see that he was not born in December. Instead it is a continuation of the celebration of the rebirth of the pagan sun god Ra and re-labeled as something supposedly good for Christians. This association with the rebirth of the sun is the reason that it comes two days after the winter soltace. This was the first day of each year when early astrologers could first notice that the days were finally getting longer again. I have always felt that this association with paganism must surely not make God happy. I mean, how would you feel if all your friends and family told you that they were not going to celebrate your kid's birthday on your child's actual birthday. Rather, they wanted to celebrate your kid's birthday on Adolf Hitler's birthday. How about that? They would reason that you shouldn't mind as long as they were indeed celebrating your child's birthday... right?
No, you are not wrong to hate it! I hate it too. It makes me feel like a hypocrite!

I hate it too as it is just a reminder of how I don't have a loving, big family. It seems everyone else I know is surrounded by loving big families. I have my Dad to visut, but there are so many issues with that, that I won't go into...as I have before. I love the religious aspect, and will be singing the Messiah with my choir at midnight Christmas Eve service. Then jumping in car Christmas day. To do brunch with my dad. It's sad fir me. Lost my mom last year...cousins, aunt's, etc have health issues so they aren't available..it used to be a big family gathering...now..not. Life goes on and changes, but holidays like this are very hard for me. Plus my dad really cares nothing for Christmas. At least I'll see my best friend the next day..

Gershun,

I'm sorry you are struggling with the season. I believe when one person is struggling we all are struggling. I've learned to re-do Christmas. My first step was to stop exchanging gifts with family. At first it made the family gathering more pleasant, and when it went back to stressful, I stopped going to the gatherings. It made me have all kind of self doubt feelings, like guilt, shame and pride, until I realized I was looking at myself through others eyes. Now I exchange a few baked goods with friends and neighbors and buy myself something so I don't feel deprived. I avoid shopping and church, eventhough I'm a Christain. I also plan the day to do something I've been wanting to do, but don't otherwise make the time to do. One year I cooked a wonderful meal just for myself. Another year I read all day. Another I made curtains. You get the idea? When people asked my plans for Christmas, I learned to tell them I would spend it alone, but I was making a special day for me to celebrate. I can actually put on Christmas Carols and enjoy listening, once.

((((((Gershun))))). If I understand you right, you don't hate Christmas in it's true sense - the celebration of the birth of Jesus - but your family gathering and the commercial stuff that goes with Christmas. Amen to that. I gave up on society's version of Christmas long ago. We do have choices,

Quite a few years ago I realized the real gift at Christmas is Jesus, Everything else has to flow from that. Personally I am quite happy by myself at Christmas, if the alternative does not bring peace. I give gifts only to those who are very close to me and since I have gotten older that is an e transfer of money. To me the gift giving should be in line with the year around relationship. I want a time of fellowship in the true sense -and I can have that on my own reflecting on God's goodness to me throughout the year.

Follow your heart. More and more as I age, I chose to stay away from stress, strife and conflict, as no one benefits from them. Blessings to you whatever you decide to do.

I don't see how it is possible to opt out - I can't even go on my normal weekly grocery run without facing crowded stores and holiday music, not to mention all the flyers at my door advertising the perfect gifts and party foods. I've been reading around the web and have noticed that the whole meal and family get-together thing seems to be more focused at Thanksgiving in the USA - here in Canada Christmas is THE day, the one major holiday and expectations are huge. You can't go out and do something else on Christmas day because NOTHING is open, and you can't watch TV because nothing is on except holiday specials. To add to that it's just days past the solstice so it is dark, cold and usually dreary. Oh, and there is always the chance of snow so that people who are getting together must put their lives at risk trying to get to the "party". Bah, humbug.

From Daisycat thank you for saying this I have been waiting for someone to say I hate christmas . I am a born again Christian and know when I die I am going to heaven I have had to take care of my parents all my life my mom has turned me against christmas I have to do all her gifts and cards for every one in family and they don't care if she lives or dies I have 2 brothers and they do nothing not even a call to see if she is ok.i just want to say thank you again for saying this

Hate it your not alone

There is so much "emotional blackmail" around the holidays that it is no wonder people get depressed.
You watch a Hallmark Movie (and I am one of the millions sitting on the couch with a box of tissues) and no matter what the problem is it is solved in 90 minutes as well as falling in love with the "perfect" person.
You see the commercials of happy families doing joyful things
You every office decorated, every house with lights on it (Electric company loves the holidays!)
All of a sudden the problems you face 24/7-365 seem more burdensome everyone is so wrapped up in "their" thing you (we) seem lost. People stop asking you to the holiday parties because they know you will not be able to join, you can't shop for gifts because there is no one to watch your loved one while you go spend money that would be better spent on a caregiver for a few hours so you can get a doctor's appointment scheduled or get a cup of coffee with a friend. You don't put up a tree because with the advanced dementia your husband thinks the ornaments are candy and tries to eat them (true story, happened to me) and you don't want to use a ladder because if you fall there will be no one to 1)find you or 2) if you hurt yourself who will look after your loved one as well as you needing care.
On top of all this you begin to wonder...is this the last Thanksgiving we will have together, the last Christmas? Is the New Year going to bring another crisis that I have to deal with?
There is nothing wrong with wanting to skip Christmas but I don't think it is Christmas you want to skip it is the hype, the non Christ part of Christmas that you want to skip.
I can not tell from your profile who you care for but you can make the day anything you want it to be.
It might help to talk to someone about the feelings you have after the holiday, reliving the day. Maybe trying to figure out the why might be helpful.

I so agree with you! It’s gotten way out of control. I put a winter wreath on my house but that’s it. I don’t decorate or even put a tree up since my kids are grown and moved out.
I believe in God and Jesus and his teachings but the holiday is man made and too commercialized.

Gershun,
I cannot say that I’ve hated Christmas, but I have always struggled with being overwhelmed with all the things to do- shopping, difficult family, the commercialization of it. I watched Kirk Cameron’s movie, “Saving Christmas”, and it made me think about my mindset.
Basically, we think Christmas is about doing the things: cooking, shopping, difficult family member, decorations, etc., But Jesus was born and He is our Hope. He said in John 14:6: “I am the Way, and the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except thru Me.” Instead of “trying harder” to crowd your feelings, maybe you can be still and rest in what He has already done for all of us! He’s done all the work already. This year, I’ve decided to celebrate Him- He is Light... so I’ve put our lights up in celebration of Him. If you cook, make your best dish and think of Him. I’ve done this and have completely enjoyed every single day. This has been a mindset change for me, and since I flipped, it has been life changing. Christmas is commercialized but I don’t think businesses even realize why they put up their lights! Let everyone rush around, but you celebrate and rest in Him, Who is truly the Reason for this Season. I hope I don’t sound preachy but I’ve been getting my cart before my horse, and rethinking and celebrating Christmas for Him has totally changed everything. Peace to you this Christmas!!

I hate secular Christmas from the time I was a small child. But I love Christmas in the church, as long as too much secular baggage doesnt infiltrate it. Here's kinda how I made my separate peace with the season.

Even more than Christmas in the Church, I love Advent. It's a time of reflection, of hope, and of longing for the time when the world is made right. And what better time than when crass commercialism, materialism, and forced jollity, the contrast between Hallmark movies and our real relationships, and stress are in our faces 24/7 , than to reflect on the brokenness of this world, its need of a Redeemer, and the incredible hope and grace that are ours. At Christmas we celebrate the first coming of Christ and our salvation, at Advent we look forward to His return in glory to end the heartbreak, pain, and despair that trouble this world and make us finally who we were created to be.

That is all the celebration I do -- I usually make a charitable contribution in everyones name and put some lights on a tree just because it's beautiful. I listen to ancient hymns, and go to Mass. The world can keep the rest.

If I were not a believer I would joyfully and guiltlessly opt out of any of it.

The Christmas season is a depressing time for me as well, but for a reason different from yours. Celebrating the holiday with family and friends is all in the past now and it has become a very sentimental and lonely time. My husband is deep in dementia, and as his 24/7 caregiver far from family and friends, I find Christmas to be a time of sadness. I am so grateful for the wonderful hospice workers who come to see us. Without them I don't know how I'd make it through December. It's kind of amusing to read some of these complaints about having to spend time with obnoxious, narcissistic, and otherwise imperfect family members. Wish I could turn back the clock to those days.

Love your question, Gershun! I've never liked Christmas--tried everything to see what might work but nothing did. So now I spend the day with my pets, watch a few good documentaries, knit, exercise and eat something good and that feels right.

I've never been religious but would do Christmas anyways if I liked it. Don't like the gift thing--who to get what, shopping, getting things I don't need--why? And seeing overfed entitled Americans rush around to buy food for a feast when a day of fasting and appreciation would make more sense.

For years I was living far from and then estranged from my family, which has always been chaotic and unusually messed up. I moved back thinking it would be nice to start having holidays together before everyone dies out only to find I'd still rather be alone than with them! That rock is now turned....

If you internet search "why I hate Christmas" you'll find thousands of comments from people like you, and many of them are funny!

The best gifts for aging parents (and others) are consumables .... home-made cookies, a gift-certificate to a favorite restaurant or gas station, gift-basket of smalls that they use, etc. Everyone can use these kinds of things. They don't need more 'stuff' at this point in life!

To deflect some of the demonic advertising that is thrown your way, try muting the television when the commercials come on ... I've been doing this for 30-years and it takes the sonic pressure of the latest 'Toyota-thon' et.al. away. It's something. Just look out the window when the TV shoves 'Christmas' down your throats.

What I hear people expressing is they hate the commercialism of secular Christmas. You have every right to define how you spend the holiday. Yes, it’s made up but the event of Jesus's birth isn’t. So for me as I’ve aged I like focusing on the 4 weeks of Advent and the symbolism of each one...hope, Joy, love, peace. You don’t have to buy into the secular aspect. But I reflect on children and what it means to them and the joy it brings. Don’t allow the world to make you a cynic. It’s easy to fall into that...I know. If you like nature, which has found to be essential and restorative to a tired and hurting soul, then make a plan to get outdoors on Christmas and go to a park, a drive in the country or something. Skip the family holiday scene. Meditate on the things of the heart...do good for others and practice compassion and kindness. Most of the sadness and depression at Christmas comes from unrealistic expectations of what it should be. Make it meaningful for you.

Gershun, Yes! I feel the same. I used to love this holiday time when I was a kid but that began to fade as I became a teenager. In January it will be 3 yrs. since my bedridden mom passed away. Caring for her for 2 yrs. in my home was rough even with hospice. This year I put up some decorations as we moved to a new condo and I wanted it to feel like home. At first all felt good about the holiday...but as the weeks get closer I am missing my mom a lot this year. We don't have much family, and my husband's mom won't do much for the holiday since his sister, and then a close cousin died.She won't leave her house to visit us.
As Christmas approaches, the frenzy of others partying and shopping, and UPS trucks roaring in and out of the condo complex is beginning to bug me. Then my husband went Afib a couple nights ago and I am worried sick once again. Waiting to see if his meds kick in and taking longer than usual. The way I feel right now is to rip all my decorations down, wondering why I was fool enough to think I would be able to enjoy the holiday. I have done this before...put them up in a positive frame of mind.....then take them down on or even before Christmas. I feel this, like everything else, is for other people and not me.

You are NOT alone. I have not liked Christmas for as long as I can remember. When we still exchanged gifts, I would search for a gift my receiver would like. What I received, was always something the other person wanted and I had no use for.

I was gracious, always thanked profusely, and then put whatever I got into a closet, never to see daylight again. I was glad when we stopped exchanging presents and I started just buying myself something I wanted.

I love the season and the decorations - but Christmas? Not so much.

I went to OA (Overeaters Anonymous) 30 years ago and this question came up - and a lot of people hate Christmas for various reasons. YOU are not alone.

I hate Christmas as well. I'm estranged from my family, so it's just mom and me, and I'm not sure she knows what Christmas is anymore. So I'm keeping it low key

I not only hate Christmas, I hate every single holiday that brings this family together. Fake people I don't like being around, especially that dang sister in law. I give no gifts out and none are delivered to me.

I was watching an hour long programme about Christmas carols yesterday, written and presented by the very knowledgeable and always interesting Howard Goodall.

There has long been a popular myth about Oliver "Warts-And-All" Cromwell - still a handy pantomime villain after more than 350 years - banning Christmas. Well guess what? - HE DID. It's written down in the records of Parliament, he and his Puritan government actually did make it law that Christmas, Easter and Whitsun were not to be celebrated as festivals in church.

What is not true, though, is that he outlawed all Christmas celebrations - you can have all the yule logs and mulled ale and plum pudding you like, just don't do it in church, was the point. The Puritans had nothing against winter jollity, apparently Cromwell himself was quite the little mover on a dance floor; their disapproval was about the connection of such things with Christianity.

But who needs detail when there's good propaganda to enjoy? Tchah! Puritans! Miserable lot. Making it always winter and never Christmas...

I enjoy the church services and the music at church, but not much else. Certainly not “Santa Claus Got Run Over by a Reindeer” blaring on the radio.

Sharon, it's funny you should say "why am I doing this and who am I doing it for" I was asking myself just that when I said my evening prayers earlier tonight. I think most people just get so caught up in the rush of it all that they don't even stop to think about it.

It reminds me of a movie we rented a couple of weeks ago. This man was telling a woman friend that he never wanted to have children. He said he thought a lot of people just do it cause it's like a check list. You know, Box A: get married, check Box B: have kids, check.

I think it's the same with a lot of things, including Christmas. Just an example of how we sometimes don't put enough thought into things.

Since my Mom died three years ago I realized the main reason I was going through the motions was for her and she wasn't even crazy about the whole commercialization of the holiday either.

But as I said earlier, to each his/her own.