I hate Christmas! I always have for as long as I can remember. Am I alone in these feelings or do I have company?

Thankfully it is over. Now on to New Year's

I know we are not supposed to have expectations. Or create expectations. Or cater to anyone else’s expectations.

But. My guy and I let the extended family know that our house would be “the place” for family to drop in on Christmas Day and see his 83-y.o. mother. A.K.A their mother, MIL, grandmother or great-grandmother.

[She’s a pretty zippy 83-y.o., BTW. Has a bad hip and doesn’t drive, but everything above the ears is firing on all cylinders. She’s a much better conversationalist than most people her age - and a lot of people who are half her age. She does not live with us. She & the daughter she lives with planned to spend Christmas at our house. So we opened the invitation to everyone. Easy peasy.]

Make it convenient for everyone. No pressure. Come as you are.

NO-SHOWS. Every last one of them. Even though they said “yes” during the flurry of calls texts before Christmas.

Awkward and embarrassing. Even tho my guy and I did nothing wrong.

Some context on this crap-out guest list: Two of the households are 10 miles away. One household is 5 miles away. The other household is 5 blocks away.

Sure sure, no expectations. That’s the modern-day advice. I really try to follow it.

But I’m not sure our 83-y.o. matriarch got the memo. 😐

blackhole - it's ok to have some expectations. Just have the right ones. I have expectations - that others will let me down, that the perfectly planned day will go awry, that some one (maybe me) will get sick and mess up the holiday, that the parcels will arrive later or in bad condition and so on. This way you don't get let down as much. Life happens.

A line in “To a Mouse,” by Robert Burns: “The best laid schemes o' mice an' men / Gang aft a-gley, meaning the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Truth!

Having said that I, and I am sure you, have some opinions about those that did not come and visit the family matriarch, that I will not voice, and they are not pleasant.

You should probably go on a cruise the week of Christmas. That's my plan for next year. The stress of this year's Christmas landed me in the emergency clinic with an abnormal EKG.

katiekat, every year I vow that next year I'll do this and I'll do that. There is a part of me that feels every year that maybe this year I'll go home with that warm, special feeling in my heart. You'd think that by now I'd know better. :P

Well, it's over and presumably everybody here survived. If y'all don't mind, I'd like to share how mine went, bc I wasn't really expecting much but I decided to "go through the motions" for the sake of my 90-yo MIL who lives with us and the 2 g-kids my dh and I are raising. I'm a Protestant Christian and know a lot of the trappings of the season are of pagan origin, but the deco and festivities are kind of special to MIL. So we put up a small artificial tree and a Nativity set, and a few nice artificial poinsettias and a garland or two, and she set up her Christmas cards and the place looked festive. Then my daughter and her husband texted to say they would be here- from several states away. This was a VERY big deal! So the kids and I started making cookies and candy. We got the giggles and had a blast. The parents' visit was a lot of fun but too brief. We ate too much junk and played games and the weather was awesome. Yeah... even though my daughter has issues and it made the kids sad when they left, and it wasn't really a Hallmark movie, it was a good time while it lasted. So I guess ... for us anyway, or at least for me, Christmas is a lot like any other day. You make the most of it, take what comes, enjoy it the best you can. I too buried a loved one in December, in 2004, a husband. And almost his last words to me were, "Be happy." I'm grateful to him for that. I strive to be.

I’m sorry you feel that way. I think you need to focus on what will make you happy and not stress. Denying yourself a beautiful holiday like Christmas is not the answer. You need to focus on yourself and by that I mean that u have to figure out how you can enjoy the holiday. You deserve to be happy. If there are specific relatives that are rude or make you feel bad, stay away from them! But forgetting Christmas all together is not fair to you. I love Christmas although I have had my share of stressful ones. Just do t put yourself through that. But make sure u celebrate!

I have always enjoyed Christmas, especially with my life partner over the last 46 years, she was 12 years my senior,and we had an awesome loving relationship, but sadly, in 2017 she got dementia and Alzeimers, and her oldest daughter took her away, put her in a care facility,and has totally shut me out of the life!!! I have not seen my Peggy for 1 and 1/2 years, I don't know where she is, I cannot talk to her at all..I am truly heartbroken....so the last two Christmas have been very lonely for me...I love my God and am thankful for all he has given me....I just wish I could see my partner, but it is not be to be...Happy New Year Y'all!!!