I hate Christmas! I always have for as long as I can remember. Am I alone in these feelings or do I have company?

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I hate Christmas! I always have for as long as I can remember. Am I alone in these feelings or do I have company?

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Not unusual. When I was a child, there were a couple Christmases when, unlike my brothers and sister, I was seemingly forgotten, or got an IOU for something I'd never receive. As I got older, I hated it because I'd work so hard trying to find things to match people's interests, but no one EVER seemed to make ANY effort to determine what I'd like.
Gradually, I realized all the shopping, card writing, and hub-ub was keeping me from focusing on Jesus.

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My mom would give my sister heaps of presents and expensive horseback riding stuff for my brother--boots, saddles, bridles, cowboy hats and the horse. I'd get one $10 straw sewing basket. My mom also complained constantly about the work she did to make holiday dinners just so that everyone could eat in five minutes. Leaves bad memories....

(5)

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Did you know that Christmas was outlawed for a time in Boston in the 1600s, and there was a lot of push back from celebrating it in the US, especially in the Puritan colonies, even until the 1800s? You are not alone in hating this holiday or being uncomfortable with how commercialized it has become.

In 332 AD, Pope Julius I declared the birth of Christ would be celebrated on December 25th, a day that had connections with Saturnalia and the birth of Roman god Mithras. History, though, indicates Jesus Christ was likely born in the spring when shepards would be grazing their sheep. This connection to Pagan holidays, general aversion to merrymaking, plus the discomfort with the growing materialism surrounding the way Christmas was celebrated led strict Christians, especially in the New England Colonies, to discourage or even forbid its practice.

It wasn’t until songs and books (think Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol, and ‘Twas the night before Christmas...”) popularized it for American family culture that it actually became a federal holiday in the 1870s. Food for thought.

History aside, I wish everyone a blessed and beautiful, stress-free Christmas.

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The popes at the time were working hard to build churches over pagan sites, connect their religious events at the same time as pagan, as a planned replacement. makes senses..if people travel (on foot) to a 'worship site then the habit is enforced already, so building over that site got people to keep going there. All of this was man's doing, and it was indeed " playing the long game" as generations (people lived less than 30-40 years) died out and new were born and forgot the 'old ways'. . I tried to talk about this history with a couple guys at work and they came unglued that their church was so insidious and didn't believe me. even acknowledging basic history was too much- setting aside religious feelings. I visited the biggest church in UK the "Minster" it is built over Roman ruins and in the deep 'basement' is a working aqueduct 2000+ years old still running clear water, incredible murals on the walls. Knowing the history does not take way from the love of that particular religion. glad to see another who knows this stuff!

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I used to start buying decorations in July. When Hallmark had the Christmas decorations for sale. I had 3 trees. One for Elvis, one for Star Trek, and one traditional. Wow times they have changed. Forgot , also had a Rudolph display that my daughter yearly created. Oh welll. She’s 23. Not 3. I’m dealing with a mother in my family room who won’t sleep in her bedroom, declining. So I figure it’s a combination of my daughter growing up and my mothers dementia. I have lost the love I had for all holidays. It’s hard enough to deal with my mothers decline. Every minute of every day. Maybe though , it has less or nothing to do with dementia, just my aging, Not having a little girl whose birthday is so close to Christmas, now an adult and I an aging adult. So less enthusiasm for doing what I did 20 or 10 or even 5 years ago. As a side thought, if I ever am lucky enough to be a grand ma ,, well I’m back to 3 trees. Also Midnight Mass.

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(((hugs))) So much “what if” and “remember when” at this time of year. 🎄

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I strongly dislike Christmas. Too commercialized and can't wait for the holidays to be OVER!
p.s. Very much believe in God...

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,My Mother was a "Holiday MaMa"and Christmas was her favorite.
All 3 of us "kids" were born Christmas week.3 years ago now,on my 55th Birthday,my dear Mother died.She tried so hard to hold on for Christmas and did,but then died hours later,so I have a lot of mixed emotions about Christmas time.Mother joined her loved ones,but I lost her and nothing,especially the holidays are the same.

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I'm sorry that your mother's death will always be linked with Christmas. Perhaps you can create a photo album with your siblings to celebrate all the Christmases she helped to make special for you. If you can find a way to bring the happy memories to the fore when are missing her it might ease the pain a little. My Dad died in 2015 and I think of him most when I see a silly cartoon or joke I might have shared with him, or a book is published that I know he would have liked. The things themselves are insignificant but they were the things with which we bonded.

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Your not alone, Christmas has become over rated. The stores have over rated it because they make money. I even saw Christmas things on sale in September at my local Rite Aid pharmacy they put Christmas things out on shelves right before Halloween. Ridiculous. I didn’t even put a tree up this year. Nor did I buy gifts. I bought one gift each for my step grandchildren and going to give them money cards. (Visa) last year we spent way to much. They have Christmas five times in the week of Christmas with their other relatives and get way to much. They just grab a gift un open it and throw it to the side and want another and another. My children and grandchildren live out of state. So that is very hard for me. I also lived in a disfunctional alcoholic relationship and grew up like that so Christmas wasn’t a very happy time for me at all growing up. Also some men think we can do it all. Shop for presents and cook all the goodies and set up the house and tree for one day of a chaotic glandure. Then clean up the big mess after it’s all over. Also yell at you for spending to much bloody money. Yup your not alone. I wish Christmas was like thanksgiving were we all got together and each of us had to make someone something that didn’t cost money to make. I think Christmas should be for children like Halloween. But the stores and big companies took off and ran with Christmas and ruined it all for most. Happy holidays ba hum bug.

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The OP expresses the steep emotional ups and downs that happen due to too much build up of the 'big day'. Friends in other Western nations- Germany, Denmark do NOT blow out with tackle excessive 'decorations' for a month, spending a fortune, beefing up expectations it will be 'perfect'. They celebrate quietly, with a simple diner together, going to church that eve, and simple, simple. I am never going to blame Americans for celebrating and spending with love towards others, but the 'goodwill' rings hollow often because no one donates or volunteers 2 days later. And the biggest problem I have seen over a lifetime is family forgetting reality of dealing with a crowd of people you don't see often, expecting ideal behavior, and getting the usual, often snarky, or indifferent, or braggy, or drunk behavior. So it seems to me some families avoid the overspending and excess that is getting them in $$ trouble, and celebrate more in the real meaning of the day. The reason why the celebration happens is lost in the modern day affectations. I do know i MOST enjoyed the 'poverty' years when me and DH were in college together, paying for it ourselves, working side jobs, living in a tiny 1 bd apt, and MAKING the gifts, all with thought, and the joy, then driving 9 hours to get there, excited to see who liked what I made. the 'journey' was always the best memory, Too broke to buy a tree I dragged home a huge arching Manzanita tree branch with straggly little branches all over, painted it gold, hung our few bulbs and tinsel on it..that 'tree' I remember most! but as we got real jobs, and too busy and rushed, I was stuck for a few years buying $$ at Macy's not caring much JUST to meet the obligation of a good gift. I MISSED sewing bathrobes, or hand making beautiful clove studded oranges, tied with velvet ribbons, and placing in a huge wicker basket, carrying it to each person to choose one. Then as his sisters married and had babies-- it became awful massive heaps of presents the kids TORE thru, barely looking, and grabbing the next. To the point of crying and insisting poor 90 yr ol grandma let them open HER few gifts..and the pious mother LET them. There was a 'teaching' moment there that she just overlooked as tears and whining began at being overexcited and allowed to do as they want...because : Christmas. I know everyone with a negative Christmas history has many different experiences- from standing in long lines at the cheap stores to save a few $$, tired and stressed, to hidden anger and being overheated and rushed to keeping everyone happy. and worse.

(8)

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Maybe because I have little ones in grandchildren, local to us .. I absolutely adore this time of year. The whole thing, . the church festivities, the cooking, shopping, wrapping presents, the endless loop of Christmas music.. the wonder in a child's eye. I love it.

Am usually ready for it to all be over with too, by the time it's over with.

The other day I snapped a picture that I want to frame. The two babies, standing in the glow of the Christmas tree, their silhouettes. Something I want to always be able to look on in the wonder they were able to see in it.

Been fortunate that none of my Christmas memories include the loss of a beloved family member, or other sadness.

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Dorker, that photo sounds priceless. Definitely turn it into a keepsake. 🎄

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If you feel this way stay at home alone and stay away from people that love Christmas because all you do is ruin it for others. My Mother is an example ! She complains and makes everyone miserable from Thanksgiving till New Years every year. We all try to make her happy by helping her shop, put up decorations and cook !~ She still complains ! I wish she would just stay at home and let us have a great time but its almost like she enjoys making everyone miserable like her!!

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That's rather harsh Stella. Do you suffer from depression? It's not fun and to tell someone to stay home and out of the way so others can have fun? That's extremely close to cyber bullying.
One cannot ever know what a word or sentence can do to someone who is bi-polar in any way.
I'm bi-polar and didn't realize it until I thought I would have a nervous breakdown. Then I found out depression runs on Mom's side of our family.

You enjoy your holidays and just keep in mind that someone on this board can be on the edge of a life or death decision.

(10)

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It's my favorite holiday. One of that rare moments when our family gathers together

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I'm not much for Christmas either. I celebrate JESUS birth 365 days a year. Gershun, do something different this year, visit a nursing home, go for a hike if you're able and enjoy GOD's beautiful creation. This should be a time of rejoicing so do something you enjoy.

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I see jesus as a way of living and acting, not as a man born. That is all it ever was meant to be, not the story of the human birth, but the birth of a state of being, a way of acting, and thinking.

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I think that christmas can make depression worse. It is all about buying things we don't need, spending money we don't have, and traveling to places just for a few moments. These holidays that are all about money and forced giving, and the guilt that comes with not buying. The remembrances of family that are not here, or dead. I do not do the holidays. I feel no guilt at all. If i do anything on the time of them i volunteer to cook meals at a church or bake cookies and hand them out to the homeless on the streets of NYC.

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What about those of us who want to to have a 'Christmas day" comments link? We could come run and say hi, discuss our plans for the new year, ask for input on something, and just basically be social support on that day?? if someone starts it i will be happy to visit on 12-25. I wish all you well, and peace of mind as we enter a whole new year!

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You can start the question!
People will come.

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I am learning so much about life on life's terms. I see clearly, that i am creating most of my own anguish by having expectations of others. I project self pity onto the situation and become angry, and crippled emotionally. When i laugh at the things that make me mad, i am powerful, i am in control of me.
The facts are fearsome, and the feelings feel like facts but they aren't. Feelings aren't facts. But, the self pity, anger, resentments, loss of desire to move ahead, is all on me, and is all my own doing. Self medication with booze, or food, or whatever is harmful, is not the answer. I go for long walks, i do the gym, i sit and stare at the uplifting youtube animal videos till i am crying tears of joy.

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YouTube videos, yes! There are thousands of interesting ones on plate tectonics, biographies, old movies, geology, rocks, birds, cute babies, and much more. Lets you avoid politics, christmas, most advertising--and cable bills. Check out "cockatiel dancing to elvis song" for a good laugh.

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I have always hated it too. I had all the communicable childhood diseases around Christmas time when I was young and the only photos I have of myself from those years during the holiday I can tell I was in tears. Then when I was a young mother all the extra effort I put in left me exhausted so I didn't enjoy the meal or the day. My husband at the time expected so much of me as well. I have a fear of being on the roads during the holidays, both for the danger of driving on ice and snow and also worrying about drivers who may be inebriated. (My parents had two separate couples of friends who died in car accidents during this time.) I have asthma and my present husband has emphysema so smokers are not fun to be around so we are content to stay at home quietly with no observance whatsoever.

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Your not alone me to! I'm glad someone spoke up.

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Um. Ok. I understand. But I hope he got help.

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I actually loved Christmas until I was around 6years old. Went to Grandma's Christmas Eve and all the cousins, aunts, uncles were there. Did not really matter if we had presents, we kids just loved being able to all be together with family. Never understood the undercurrents going on. Grandma always kept us kids safe. Then the drinking, fights, and the worst was someone swearing at the big 7 fishes dinner Grandma made. I was so angry at them all for being disrespectful, of course at 6 everyone thinks you are being a smart--s 😞 However many years later I have with my husband decided to make our own traditions with our children(now 25 and 29) many happier memories. More focused on friends, family and love for our Savior. What really matters is it is a day to celebrate Him and his birth. (Not that it is an accurate date but a day set for honoring Him)

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My mom abandoned me, my sister and my dad on Christmas Eve, 1978 for another man. Best, yet worst Christmas ever.

Because I was a juvenile, I HAD to go to her house for Christmas. She was a drunk, a Narcissist and a bully.

As an adult, living now just a few hours away, I went to her house every Christmas, but hated it. It wasn’t until she was riddled with dementia that I didn’t feel intimidated by her anymore.

She passed in August and we just got her ashes back last month. We buried her in November.

I don’t have any family left, except my estranged thieving sister. I wasn’t invited to her house and wouldn’t go anyway.

Church at midnight to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas, a frozen pizza, a glass of vino, and a nice bubble bath. I bought myself a 23 and Me kit to see if I can find some extended family. That will be exciting waiting for the results. Wish me luck. It’s lonely and depressing and I feel I have no place to fit in now that everyone is gone.

I know that’s not sound advice, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone with your feelings.

Peace and Gods blessings.

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I hope you do find some extended family. Until then feel free to consider the people on this site your cyber extended family. We'll try not to disappoint you. ((((Hugs))))

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try to interest family in volunteering ... serving food at a shelter ... visiting a nursing home or hospital ... or go yourself.

Every year i save about $ 5-10 a month and buy some gifts for people who are alone. I find them thru lower income housing or rental units. I give them to agents to take so i can remain anonymous.

During festivities i can think about those people who are forgotten at christmas.

”everyone” thinks of kids but i like to think of lonely adults.

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I like your approach. The true spirit of giving. 🧡

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I would go to a church or shelter that serves meals and volunteer there. That is very "godly". Or bake cookies for the homeless and pass them out . I skip family gatherings due to the drama excessive drinking and the expense....i feel it is forced and a waste of time and money.

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I think that it is so funny, that kids are basically threatened and manipulated into being good by saying that santa can read their minds, and that an all knowing fat jolly guy in the north pole is just basically spying on them 24/7 and that if they are bad....look out! Kind of like the religions approach to "teaching love". God spying on us all, Basically, do good and give the big fat church money or else you will burn in hell.
Sanata...God..the church?? All kind of scary to me . I am kidding here, kind of, but just think of what that does to the minds of kids. When my mother told me that the tooth fairy and santa are not real, i lost complete faith in her. She had been lying to me all of my young life and i felt shattered. The easter bunny too. My parents did such a great job at all of that stuff for us girls. It was magical.
I am an agnostic, and not ashamed to say so. But, the one good thing about the holidays is that we can all go out of our way, and try to lift the spirits of others.
It gives us an excuse to care more and to meet up with family, if we so desire. I feel very against forced meetings and forced giving. Chopping down trees for 5 days is a sin to me. The junk that we buy is insane and ruining our planet. We must take back our world and stopping the constant making of and buying basically garbage that we do not need, is where to begin. I say-boycott buying anything at this holiday and just help others in need with food and loving warmth. Go to an animal shelter and help out. Adopt a dog or cat.

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I am so glad that someone has highlighted the lies that are told about christmas. How can anything that encourages parents to lie to their children be good?? It's sending a message to your children that lying is ok. I'm so glad that my eyes were opened to the untruths of christmas, and there are so so many of them, yet so many people continue keeping this totally unGodly tradition and why.....because we have all been lied to for so long, generation to generation teaches their children what they were brought up with, but they are ignorant to the truths of it, as I was.

I am glad that some good happens over this period, and some people care for those less fortunate, that is wonderful, but is this a feeling that we should only foster once a year? Some say that it is a celebration of Jesus's birthday, well, I now know that that is far from true, it is nowhere in the bible and God say's that we should not add to, or take away from, his word, so that for me, actually makes it a sin. Some say, well, it's nice to get together with family and friends and show love and goodwill - again, do you only do this on one day of the year?

I've realised that I don't need someone telling me what I have to do on one particular day of the year to show me that I need to have a good heart and be kind and helpful to others. I am extremely happy with absolutely no christmas in my life, and anyone else can be too.

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Has anybody noticed that even if you have these as "newest first", the posts are not in order and sometimes when people reply the one they are replying to is not next to it so their reply may not make sense...??

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I always change it to "oldest first", and then they ARE in order and replies to posts come after that post.

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Wow! The emotions here about Christmas are all over the place. Oh, to be beautifully human! I loved Christmas when I was growing up. It was the one time of year that us 9 kids got some "new" hand-me-downs. Then I grew up and my family split apart. Now we hardly speak to each other and we live all over the world. I found myself starting to (I won't say hate) but become extremely uncomfortable and lonely around Christmas time. But this year, for the first time in years, I decided to "lean into" the discomfort, allow it to wash over me, pay attention to things I feel grateful for and the people I can help and have as much fun as I can. I feel more light-hearted and less dread...not perfect, but a lot less uncomfortable. To my delight some unexpected things have happened- more invites and nice surprises from friends to join them at parties and on trips. Take heart the feeling about Christmas is just that...a feeling. It's not necessarily facts and your perspective can shift. Keep reaching for the good and open yourself up. Not easy, just a start.

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I would say Hate is a strong word ....Sad , Lonley, stressful ,Two years ago my Dad died of cancer in December , 10 years ago my sister died of a drug overdose leaveing behind 4 children end of october, this year Aunt died 3 days before Thanksgiving due to parkinsons I beleive the sadness comes over us because of the people that we all miss so much Christmas time is a time of Giving and these dear loved ones have departed in one way or another we can NO LONGER share with them... leaveing a sadness😢

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So true and well put🎄🎁🎄

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I agree with you. I feel the following about the holiday:
a) It actually has pagan origins, so it isn't what people assume it to be (i.e., all the "reason for the season" hype).
b) The Bible doesn't command us to celebrate it, and in fact one of the Gospels doesn't even include this time of Christ's life or birth.
c) It is overcommercialized, as everyone knows. As a friend says, it's the "ultimate celebration of retail capitalism".
d) I believe my biggest frustration with it is that the commercial aspect goes on for several months. I've even seen some signs of it at the end of September.

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I can truly identify with you. When I was 9, the most important person in the world to me, then and still, my grandfather, died suddenly of an acute heart attack. He never made it to the hospital. That was 12/22. Since then, my grandmother, also close to me died, unexpectedly on 12/26. My father, again unexpectedly died on 12/10. My other grandfather who I wasn't as close to also died suddenly in December. Of course these events all happened years apart, but every year as December approaches, I start thinking of these losses of people who were very important to me and start to get depressed . I am Christian and do believe in the "true" meaning of Christmas. Except for the 12 years that I was married, I have mostly lived alone. Right now I have my 91 year old mother with SEVERE dementia, living with me. Yesterday she thought Christmas was over. So, as you can see, it's sort of hard for me to get in the ho-ho mood. Call me crazy, but I go through the motions for my 2 dogs. They appreciate everything I do for them, and they do enjoy opening their presents. My mother? Well, put it this way. I've taken care of her and paid the bills for the last 1 1/2 years, and I have yet to hear even one thank you. Thank you for letting me pour my heart out.

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Sorry to hear your work for your mother is unappreciated. I can see why you enjoy your dogs. Those Corgis have the cutest smiles! Hang in there :)
Jane

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MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL-OR CHANUKAH OR WHATEVER.
Be kind to yourself, to others and walk the walk of love.

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My mother told me this Christmas she doesn't want to live very much longer. She has chronic pain and some minor heart problems, but she is more upset about her chronic pain. Merry Christmas to me, my mother wants to die. I wish I were Jewish.

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I don't imagine that your mother's wish to die soon has anything to do with religion. When life brings more pain than pleasure it is understandable that she would wish to be done with it. Does your mother take care of her own health discussions with her doctors or is that something you are now doing for her? Have all the possibilities for medication been discussed? If so, does your mother have any

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I agree - I hate the commercialism of Christmas and all the greed. Here I have this dysfunctional family and we are supposed to act like the Waltons! I have family members who have lost their spouses and some that, like me, don't even have a spouse - so all the lovey dove engagement ring commercials are like nails on a chalkboard. The siblings who do nothing show up at parents with huge boxes and these over the top cards about how they are the greatest parents in the world and oh we just LOVE YOU so much....Like a competition. Gee how nice to get a little money ONCE a year, when all through the year I am doing, doing, doing.. Sorry about the rant.

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Christmases were way too exhausting for me. I was the one who picked out the greeting cards, signed the cards, addressed the cards, and included a hand written letter [this was all before PC's were the household norm].

I was the one who braved the stores looking for gifts, stressing out what to get each person. I was the one who wrapped the gifts but first I had to go out and get the wrapping paper and bows. I was the one who bundled the gifts to stand in line at the post office.

I was the one who baked the holiday cookies thus giving bags of cookies to all the relatives we visited on our trip back to visit both sides of the family. That was tray after tray after tray of cookies made from scratch.

I was the one who decorated the house for the Christmas season. Hubby's job was to go out and buy a Christmas tree off a lot and bring it home for me to decorate.

Then hubby wondered why I was so darn tired on Christmas Day. I was just so relieved when Christmas was finally over.... oh wait, I still had to take down the Christmas tree and the house decorations.

And write out thank you notes [this was before one could text a thank you].

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Yep - did all that. Siblings now finding out who it REALLY was who did the card sending, gift buying, cookie making etc. Too tired to do anything that I enjoyed. Now that it stopped - I never knew that humans could have that 'deer in the headlights' look! Like, 'what happened?'
Things are a BIT different...

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This year was harder than most. My Dad and Mom have been gone for several years as well as my husband’s parents. Two years ago we lost his younger brother, elder brother passed before their parents, and this summer one of his sisters. Gone are the years of 14+ at the dinner table and this year our son could not be there because of being “on-call” for work. I had a really rough time the days leading up to the holiday and struggled to prepare. I was glad to get home to my puppy and return to work and a regular routine. I did enjoy spending time with family I don’t see often and discussing plans for an upcoming destination wedding with them.

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I hate Christmas! I always have for as long as I can remember. Am I alone in these feelings or do I have company?

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