I hate Christmas! I always have for as long as I can remember. Am I alone in these feelings or do I have company?

I feel the same as you do.Just coast through it,..knowing that,
"And this too shall pass" It's a rough time of the year for ALOT of folks, so know you are not alone :)

Do you have a friend who shares your feelings? Then become unavailable, go out of town (or say you are) and go out for Chinese food or to a movie. Who said even if you believe it God you can't celebrate in your own way and skip the family drama? I suspect you are an adult. Adults get to make their own decisions.

Hi Gershun! First, congratulations on facing your feelings honestly! That's an important first step in setting yourself free from the misery of this particular holiday. (Mine is a different holiday, but I do have a similar problem!) Now, take a deep breath and decide how you DO want to spend the day - or the season. My little family (husband, 2 kids) decided to forego the burden of a huge traditional extended family get-together (30 people or so) on Thanksgiving Day and drive 2 hours to an awesome restaurant for our turkey dinner! We've done it several years now and the kids love it. We hike along a peaceful river afteeward and just chill. I don't like the stress, the crowds, the clean-up, so this works great for us. On Christmas Day we have snacks and cookies available and have a casual "open house" for anyone who wants to drop by throughout the day. I hope this helps. Just do whatever works for you. It's okay to take care of yoyrself!

I feel the same as you do.Just coast through it,..knowing that,
"And this too shall pass" It's a rough time of the year for ALOT of folks, so know you are not alone :)

I am disabled. I used to love Christmas until my late parents became ill, and passed away. I miss our traditional Christmas and the togetherness. Now that they are not here anymore, I am somewhat depressed during the holidays. However, I know that my late mom wouldn’t let me spoil my Christmas and would like me to spend time with my primary caregiver, and her kids because Mom loved to celebrate Christmas with me.

So, try not becoming the Scrooge and celebrate Christmas your own way by praying to Jesus. Remember, Christmas is to celebrate Jesus Christ... a lot of people forget about that!

If you talk to psychologists you will learn that there are many many people who share your hatred of enforced family time and fake gaiety imposed by Holiday expectations.

That is why there is a very high rate of suicide around the Holidays. It is because of all the advertisements that show happy families.

Not all families are function. In fact most families are dysfunctional to some degree. It is the matter of degree that makes the difference between someone wanting to visit their family, and hating to visit them.

Do your parents lay guilt trips on you about visiting. Do they refuse to apologize for their mistakes, do they demand respect while failing to be respectful to you.

If that is the case, you will be justified in choosing not to visit because all the above behaviors are abusive.

Do you have family members that you do enjoy spending time with?

If so, contact them and try to spend time with them.

Do you have friends you enjoy being with. If so, spend time with them.

It takes an independent thinker to admit that Christmas is not all it's cracked up to be in the advertisements and commercials.

I beleive christmas should be a relaxing time not stressful !! So if your mother in law is in a wheelchair and can not walk then do not go to the trouble bringing her home actually she probly would rather stay at her home and have a nice short visit with her at her home bring a little take out food or see if you can eat lunch with her at her facility Its very hard on elderly to be taken out of their regular routine and home even for a few hours do not do it tooo much work just visit her and the rest of the family can do the same.Its too overwhelming to have too much company at one time just family take turns visiting mom and have your own christmas the way you wish to. Do not worry about the family they probly feel exactly the same way and most of the tome you can even make christmas visits on another day instead of christmas

I used to feel that way until the family decided that there would be no gifts exchanged, this took a lot of stress off of me. We all just got together and did potluck dinner and visited with each other. The little guys got to play with each other and for those who weren’t close by it gave a chance to reconnect with family.

Christmas and war have much in common, they have become a big business due to greed. Sheeple are led to believe we have to play these games...it is the american way. No matter how dysfunctional families can be, we are conditioned to face each other and pretend. Let the change begin with you...to your own heart...be true. Can your Christmas be a day of true gratitude? Are there blessings to count? Can you face your sadness, and talk about it, or journal it? Can you have no expectations? I have spent many holidays alone, working on these things, and it was sweet and deep. I have also spent holidays working my butt off, cooking, cleaning, gifting, etc. Not much gratitude coming my way, but I was grateful for my loving, giving self. Those relatives who are drunk, ungrateful, ignorant, etc. That is their path, not yours...the best thing you can do is be true to yourself in loving ways. Life is short.

Dear caregiver friends
I am a Christian. But I don't celebrate xmas either because it's not Jesus birthday. It is rooted in tradition and not truth. The commercialism of it all manipulates many people into financial hardship and sometimes emotional distress. Where's the joy in that?
I love family time though and join them during the holidays no matter what our beliefs are. Is it always easy? No. But even if we are not like-minded we still strive to share our love.
For all those who have someone to help with caregiving...the post on volunteering in your community is a great idea to help get through the falala of it all!
Thanks to everyone for sharing your stories and input. It helps keep me going.
Our hearts are somehow blended together even in all our diversity of situations in a common bond as caregivers. I am so grateful for that and agingcare.com.

Gershun I can so relate. For many people this is a time that opens old wounds, brings up memories of things we wish we could forget and things we wish were different. I - mostly in auto-mode- try to stay busy decorating and giving to others. And by "others" - I have no friends. These are the people working at local shops from whom I buy coffee and soda, and also the ladies who help me clean my house. I send cards to family that I never see 3,000 miles away including my brother who doesn't want to talk to me. It is so painful, sad and lonely at times. I can only say try to stay busy doing whatever - and try to remember "this too shall pass".

You are not alone. All I feel right now is a giant ball of stress. Between end of year planning at my job, the obligatory work holiday parties and networking/charity toy drive events, and meanwhile still taking care of my mother in most of my "spare" time, I feel like I have no time for myself...at all. It's something I dread every year because I spend so much time worrying about making everyone else happy, not disappointing family and friends, and plastering a fake smile on my face for the "holiday" spirit which is easier than people commenting to "cheer up, its the holidays". I'm not sure if this is anxiety, depression, or a mix of both. All I know is that I really just want one day where no one is bothering me, no one is expecting anything of me, where I can just relax, maybe take an actual nap, not worry about cleaning or fixing someone else's "oopsie"s.... just peace and quiet for 24 hours. No phone calls, no emails, no texts. That would be glorious.

You are not alone. It is no longer the "Christmas Story" holiday we had as kids in the 50s. Even watching Christmas family videos depress me! YES, IT IS WAY TOO COMMERCIALIZED AND KIDS DON'T KNOW WHY WE EVEN CELEBRATE. Like you I truly believe in God, always have; look around and there is no other answer (sorry Darwin believers). We went to Church every Sunday and then some and my family has many Pentecostal or Baptist ministers!! I don't believe people MUST go to Church to listen to someone in the pulpit telling me their belief is of the Bible. I'm a Calvinist in my belief and I can communicate with God on my own.
When I would host Christmas Eve (Dad always said Christmas Day was for the family alone) I would work, bake, cook DAYS ahead; make sure that we would entertain as a family. ONLY Christmas music in the background, then it became "put your cellphones away and DO NOT ANSWER".
The rug rats get upset when they don't get what they wanted which cost several hundred dollars, so they cry and throw hissy fits. I learned later in life that our parents would start putting money aside in January with hope they could afford to provide each of us with 1 toy we asked Santa. We were so excited that if it was 1 we were told that Santa was so busy making toys for children around the world, he gave us what he had time to make with his elves. THAT is how I handled Christmas with our daughter (she loved that she had both Christmas/Hannaka). She even received a letter/lump of coal 1 yr, was really good the next year😁.
What happened to Thanksgiving?
Yes, I too become very depressed and don't care if we have "Christmas" presents or anything. We haven't decorated a tree in 10+ years and I love a decorated tree. We don't have any grandchildren so why decorate? Yes,, daughter gets what she wants because she is 42 and we no longer "know" what she wants Santa to bring like it was when she was a "kid" and I made sure she stayed a kid until she became of age to start morphing into a teen. There's a time to become an adult, but childhood is fleeting.
Our Christmas is the 3 of us as we live in TX, brother in TN and everybody else in AZ. Mom has Alzheimer's and in assisted living and she doesn't know (I think she does in some compartment within her mind) any of us. Mom made Christmas just like her Mother.
BAH HUM BUG! I pay forward now to strangers, military, border patrol and truckers who are eating all alone if we're out to eat at Christmas. THAT makes me feel good inside my heart.

Am so sorry that you hate Christmas. I have always always loved every piece of it-the Christianity of it complete with the story of Mary and Joseph traveling to Bethlehem and the birth of a baby who would grow into a man of love and peace, even though much of our world seems to negate who he was and his influence in lives. I love the carols, the candles, the pageants-both when I was young and when my kids were young. I love the parties and family gatherings, the school concerts, the shopping and sometimes finding a perfect gift to be given because I love that person so much. i love the pictures with Santa-my own, my kids, their kids, and now their kids. I love decorating every nook and cranny and baking cookies with kids and grandkids, making fudge and planning holiday meals. I love the excitement building up to the big day, especially the quiet of Christmas Eve as we gathered to read the story and sit around a sparkling tree, opening "just one present", then off to bed. Sometimes my husband and I woke before the little ones and tip-toed out for that last view of the quiet befor the hub-bub of Christmas morning. But what Christmas really is to me is that quiet gratitude and full heart I have had after the gifts are open and the gentle joy settles in. I am always "blue" on January 2nd and hate the undue decorating, finally getting gifts put away. But this year is different. My husband passed away from dementia on November 11, after years of 24/7 caregiving, and my life is pretty much a mess because my income has been cut nearly in half, and my beloved pup is very sick, and my son's life is also a mess. But- as I sit here gazing at my little tree, I am deep in the memories of many happy Christmases past -and allowing that to soothe my grief and worry. I know you don't want to hear these words and I truly am sorry that you are and have gone thru so many holidays filled with dread and hate for all that you feel Christmas has become to most. I have always believed that it is a time filled with many parts-many traditions and is only what we make of it. As I grew older I began to simplify-to make the Christ child a center with an advent wreath and Bible open to the story in Luke, decorated the tree simply with bears, and toned down the buying, the cooking and the trappings except for family and a few close friends-fewer cards sent, fewer gifts, small simple changes that drew me closer to the joys of it all. Please try not to hate, but find a way to be, if not joyful, at least grateful for one thing in your life or in the world. I will grieve, but I will find, through my tears, at least one thing too.

I won't even get to see my family this year. :-( my brothers have to work, be with their wives or girlfriends families and do their own thing. It hurts. It's just gonna be me and my husband. Mom's in a nursing home complete with a wheelchair.

Do what I do. Tell everybody NO gift giving allowed and refuse to buy anybody anything. Do not cook anything either. If they come over you can put them to work helping to care for your loved one.

Merry Christmas...

To Gershun, so sorry that you feel as you do about Christmas. I also hate how it has been celebrated by many as time to spend, spend and go into debt and partying and some drinking too much. However, like She1934 wrote, I have always loved most every aspect of Christmas. Also, my beloved husband of 57 yrs. passed away June 29 of this year and Dec. 16th would have been his 78th birthday. So I am very sad that he will no longer be by my side for church services and enjoying a beautiful tree with twinkling lights and the smells of cookies and cakes and such in the oven. We didn't go overboard on shopping for our kids and grand kids and just gave them money, not a large amount. This year, I have only set up my little fiber optic tree and a few small decorations. I only bought gifts for our son and his wife and our daughter and husband. I bought a gift that they can both enjoy but did not spend a bundle because my income is now less also. I haven't bought for the grands in a few years now because they could never seem to find time to visit, call, or send a card. Also this year I invited my widowed sister and her little dog and our brother and his wife to come down and spend Christmas with me, no gifts allowed. Just a great time of visiting and eating and sharing the love we have for one another. Then of course, church is very much a part of my life and my church family means the world to me. I live only 4 miles from the cemetery where my husband is buried so I visit the grave often, will do so on Christmas day. He also died from Parkinson Disease, and metastatic cancer, but also had Alzheimer's and had type 2 diabetes and was on insulin. But especially during the holiday season, I try to find all the GOOD things about celebrating and how much I miss him but I know he is with God now and suffers no more, he gets to celebrate with the very one that was brought to earth as a baby that we celebrate on Christmas day. So always concentrate on the good things of the season and shut the other stuff out of your mind and if you have a good church that you attend or are a member of, attend the services that are offered weekly and the extras offered during Christmas and let it lift your spirits and I'll bet you will feel better, as I know is has surely helped me cope during this time. Prayers for you.

I totally dislike any kind of holiday, and that includes Christmas. I don't observe Easter, Memorial Day, Independence Day, nor Labor Day. I never married nor had children. To top it off, my pet cat passed on recently; died unexpectedly. I am planning on getting another cat to keep me company. I wish the holidays would be done away with. They are only for those who married and had children

Wow! I am just blown away by how this little thread I started has taken off. So many great, thoughtful, wise posts. I'm delighted how many of you know the true meaning of the season and celebrate it accordingly.

To those of you who don't know me on here and asked who I am caring for, sadly my dear Mother passed in 2014. It will be four years already in May 2019. It still feels like just yesterday to me sometimes. I've chosen to stay on here and lend support and advise where I can.

Thank-you and keep the responses coming.

You are absolutely not alone! My own Mother groes into a funk at this time every year. There are many reasons why many people dislike Christmas. Personally, I find this time easier after becoming more organized, starting early, & adopting the less is more mindset. I have also changed my thinking to making it simply about reconnecting with people I want to continue to remember. Thinking about the little special memories I had with these people and focusing on other small things that make me happy like enjoying good food, music, Christmas lights, my favorite Christmas tea, and finally remembering that the new year is near!

I am sorry to hear you hate the holidays. I find them a time of year to regroup as well as celebrate the birth of Jesus. Gift giving has gotten so out of control it does impair the spirits. I believe this year they started putting stuff out after Halloween. REALLY...
I have holiday anxieties. Finally, I have stopped thinking about hurting everyone's feelings and do what I want to do. If I don't want to visit family I don't. I will do it some time between Christmas and New Year's. The aftermath depression of Christmas is tough. We spend so much time cooking, shopping, wrapping, attending events that when it is over and there is nothing to do - that's when it hits me. I have spend a few Christmas's alone and quiet. It gave me the opportunity to reflect on what Christmas is all about.

I both love and hate Christmas. I love the decorations. I love the classic Christmas movies. I love the music. I love getting together with relatives around the holidays, although this can also be stressful.

I hate having to buy gifts. I typically buy gifts for the kids who like practically everything, give money to the teens who are starting to have preferences, and buy gourmet food for the adults who have enough money to buy their own things and don't need more material objects in their houses.

I hate getting gifts that I have no use for. It's a waste of money. I have suggested not exchanging gifts. No one listens, so I usually end up donating stuff that I get from those relatives who are bad at picking out gifts.

Oh, yeah. I don't watch TV, so I don't see any of the Christmas ads.

On Christmas day in 1960, I gave birth to a full-term stillborn baby boy--my first child. My husband (now my ex husband who is in nursing home with dementia, but that is another story) had the baby cremated before I had a chance to see him--he didn't look at him either, but the doctor said there was nothing apparently wrong.....except that he was dead, of course. My husband didn't even want the ashes to bury with a marker somewhere. We went on to have two normal children, but I have never enjoyed Christmas day, and I guess my children don't either. My single childless daughter is a nurse who always chooses to earn more money by working every holiday, and my son, his wife and two daughters usually go to visit his wife's relatives in a neighboring state. My second husband died 5 years ago and I don't see his family anymore either. So Christmas is just another day to me and I am always glad when it is over.

For many, Christmas and New Year's are the saddest times of the year.

Yes, Christmas has been a struggle for me for years. I too am Spiritual and love the decorations, a few of the carols, attend church. But the family dysfunction, debt, cooking, cleaning, driving across the state twice in one week to attend not one but two Christmases. It is so easy to get caught up in pleasing others that you make yourself miserable. It took me 3 days to recover from the chaos.

At 55, I declared that is enough. The running nonstop on the hamster wheel was over. I now send Christmas cards but no longer attend large family functions. On Christmas day, we go to a movie, a park, take a walk, a bike ride, go to church service. We try to make the day as tranquil as possible.

Peace and Joy to you all.

I like Christmas for the celebrating of Jesus' birth, the pretty lights, & cheerful songs. It is sad about all the "out of hand" gift giving, but I just don't participate in it.

I don't hate Christmas---I just feel that it is the LEAST Christlike way to celebrate HIS birth and ministry.

Also--I have to do "all the things" alone b/c hubby inevitably has last second job related issues that MUST be dealt with, Most years he "forgets" to shop and he runs to Walgreens at 8:45 pm and is frantically scouring the shelves for ANYTHING. It's sad for me, as it says to me "You;re not important enough to PLAN for". This is MY problem and you'd think after 42 years together it wouldn't bother me. What I REALLY want is my family around me and for him to stay awake all day and engage with the family,

Mostly, I want it to be over with. We lost 2 lovely family members at Christmas and this does come to light, the memories, as they were sick and dying during the holidays. I know everyone probably has that to deal with, It just is what it is.

I just try to make the other 364 days of the year "Christlike"....and quit pretending that Dec. 25th has anything to do with out Savior's birth.

Works for me.

Yes and no...
my mother died last year right before Christmas, which was very hard, but I’m determined to honor her memory at the holidays. It’s a time for a “new normal.”
So, I guess every year can be the start of something new- something that makes things feel right, and that can differ from year to year.
some years are just “alone” holidays and others can be “family mayhem and chaos” holidays... but they don’t all have to be the same! Do what makes you happy!

I can relate to the reply from Hugger1. I prefer to be away from the chaos and stress of the Christmas shoppers. And I also understand your feelings. As I have grown up, wised up, and grown older over the years, I have given up on the Christmas shopping. It has always lead me down the road of debt and stress. It really irks me that Christmas decorations in the stores are on display before Halloween. And I like it when people say "Merry Christmas" to me instead of "Happy friggin Holidays". Political correctness is getting beyond absurd. So now my family just gets together for dinner if we're lucky. This year my son and I are going to work at Salvation Army on Christmas day and then probably go out for Mexican food. We have great Mexican food in our town.
I used to have the seasonal depression around the holidays but they seem to be fading the more I let go of the stress.
I would suggest as other people have, to do something that makes YOU happy.
Hugs to you!!

I hate Christmas ever since my Dad died in 1991. Now my mom is in an assisted living with chronic back pain from an operation she insisted on having when she was 82. She does nothing but complain even though she is in one of the most swanky assisted livings that there is.
I am an only child so my Christmas is spent with her eating in the dining room of her assisted living, They have a chef so the food is quite good, not that she would ever admit to that. They actually have 2 Chefs and she complains that the other one cooks Chinese food or whatnot.
So my Christmas basically sucks. I am in control of the finances so I could buy myself a Christmas gift, but I would not do that.
I feel your pain.