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These are following things I am dealing with


1-Body being rigid
2-OCD about going home
3-Not Eating
4-Not Taking a shower
5-Urinary incontinence
6-Thinking TV is talking to her personally
7-Unable to change clothes
8-Seeing things that isn't there (Charles Bonnet syndrome)

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I can tell you right off YOU are NOT alone in this.
All of these things are faced each day by family members that have a loved one that has dementia.
Is mom on Hospice? If not you might want to contact a Hospice in your area and see if mom is eligible.
They can help with many of the things you mention.
Here are a few things that will help you:
*Realize you can not do this alone. You will have to have caregivers help you.

*You can not leave mom by herself.

*She will decline, there is no way that this will improve.

*You need to care for yourself.
decide now what your "break point" is. Mine was SAFETY. If was no longer going to be safe for my Husband to keep him at home, I would have had to place him in Memory Care. If it was no longer safe for Me to care for him at home I would have had to place him.

*Having to place someone in Memory Care is NOT a failure, it is a realization that you have done the best that you could do and in order to keep doing the best your loved one needs a higher level of care.

*Not everyone can be a caregiver. Some are better care managers and leave the hands on caregiving to others.
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All of the behaviors and symptoms you describe are very common with Alzheimer's disease. But I assure you, nycdoctor, you are not alone. There are 6 million people living with Alzheimer's in the US alone. There are probably double or triple that number caring for a loved one with AD, you may even know another caregiver. If so, talk to that person. Many of them, also, feel like they are alone. We have all felt alone when we are the primary caregiver. Although there may not be a “cure” for the loneliness, there are things that can be done to ease the isolation. If you haven't already, educate yourself about the disease. Books like The 36 Hour Day (there are many others), and YouTube videos of Teepa Snow are a good start. Google “dementia” to get many relevant websites. Some dementia support groups have resumed, seek one out by contacting the Alz Assn. A senior citizen center may be offering support groups. Call your local Area Agency on Aging for resources and references that might be able to help you. Consider home care to give you some respite and to help with the caregiving. If you have a church, talk to your clergy. The important thing is to reach out to other people and agencies so you don't feel alone, isolated and helpless. And by all means, realize that you may not be able to care for your mother forever. We all have our limits of caregiving where we can no longer manage the demands of the job. Many of us had to place our loved one in a care facility to provide the necessary care we could no longer offer. Don't reject that possibility.
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I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s so sad when our parents become someone we don’t recognize anymore. The cruelties of dementia rob everyone of the person they knew. I hope you’re not alone in providing care for your mother. Her needs are too great for any one person to sustain. Have you talked with her doctor about what you’re seeing and any possible helps? Please don’t neglect to care for yourself, physically and emotionally. You’re no good to mom when you’re exhausted and depressed. Get a checkup for yourself and find ways to get away from the tensions, even if it’s simply going for a walk. Get more help if you haven’t already, either in home or having her move to a higher level of care. I wish you both peace and rest
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