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I live in a Mobile Home Park, so everyone is pretty chummy. I mean we are all fairly nice to each other. I have one neighbor who lives with his mother and we have gotten along really well. His Dad recently passed from various health reasons and now his Mom has been diagnosed with Dementia and he cares for her. Some people on this site are aware that my Wife has had Dementia for around 7 years now and she now has incurable cancer and I have my wive's daughter and 26 year old Grandson staying here helping me out. The other night my neighbor came by the house and said he wanted to say hi to Helga. I let him in and right away he acted as if he might have had a little too much to drink. He was loud and just being a little aggressive. My wife is on hospice and she doesn't get better, only worse. But here he was with how are you doing Helga , here let me give you a hug, which I didn't approve of because of the Covid. He says I'm not making you jealous am I? And I said I quit getting jealous in my 20's, that was 50 years ago. He then says, she doesn't look good. You should be hugging her more, why don't you give her a hug. I didn't feel I needed to prove a thing to him and was starting to get a little agitated. He said he was leaving and turned and said bye Helga and told me, look at her you need to make her happy, and hug her more. I was just glad that he left. This all took me by surprise because I never saw this side of him. But the more I thought about it I wished I said something. Well the next day I had that chance because he bought us a cake, just because. I told him at the door that I thought that his actions the night before and the things he said were inappropriate. I told him I would never tell him how to take care of his mom, especially if I was in his house and with that he left. I thought I handled the situation ok and so did my in-laws. About an hour later he phoned and my daughter-in-law answered the phone, it was him and he said his mom and him had a long talk and they decided they're not coming over anymore. My D-in-law said well you know you were a little out of line the other.... and he hung up on her. It's been about a week now and still no word, but I like him and his Mom both. I was thinking of writing a letter. I don't know if it's worth the effort. I have a lot on my plate already. I'm just looking for idea's. Maybe I worry too much.

I would leave it as it stands.

His behaviour was not appropriate, you let him know you were upset by it and would not tolerate it.

What would change if you wrote a letter?
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Reply to Tothill
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It isn't worth the effort. Let him at peace. He likely was inebriated or on some drug, next day knew he had been out of line and the cake a result. He was unable to hear the truth. He has made his decision. I would just from now on nod and smile as you pass one another. Perhaps a nice "How are you doing" and move on.
My bro lived in a wonderful trailer park his last years, and the people were so great, but you sure are a prisoner of who is next door, and it is best to keep that a nodding friendly, because you are very close physically. I wish you luck. This was a nightmare visit. Likely you knew you should have said "Sorry, Tim, no hugs! Covid worries" or even just don't allow inside visits while your wife so very vulnerable, and you as well given her dependence on you.
I can just imagine this story. Really sad. But don't get close again. Just have a nodding, civil relationship and leave it at that and don't MENTION this in the Park itself. Please. That could bode for real problems with division and gossip.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Oh, I would feel like you . . .wanting to fix this and make everyone happy again. But, like others have said, let it go. His behavior was not helpful for your wife, and he will behave that way again. You are best to cut ties -- and lucky for you, he cut them for you.

Smile and wave when you see them in passing, but be glad that you won't be agitating your wife like this again.

Hugs to you, it's hard holding boundaries sometimes, but we put them there for a reason.
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Reply to calicokat
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When people show you who they are, believe them. Consider him not coming over anymore to be a blessing. Your life is stressed enough without this. I wish you peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Nope, not worth the effort. I'm sorry for this disappointment and it's sad to have it end on such a sour note. You don't need people like that in your life -- especially if they're alcoholics or substance abusers. I once heard a wise person observe that we need to "date" for friends with the same intentionality as you date someone as a potential spouse. The right friends can bring lifelong joy. They are worth searching for and cultivating. I wish you peace in your heart and many excellent friendships.
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Reply to Geaton777
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