I have 2 parents: My mom is 70, my dad is 80. My Dad has parkinsons disease, osterporious and other health problems, My mom has bad back issues and clinical depression.
Until of last month, I was coming over every now and then to help them with cleaning and other things. Last month, My dad fell and broke his hip. Then my mother blacked out afterwards (Due to her meds for an another health problem). Both of them were hospitalized. My dad got a new hip and the doctor sent him to a rehab facility. My mother ended up going off the drug, due to doctor's orders and then was released. I spent three days with my mother afterwards. I cancelled a vacation in order to tend to them for a spell: My other siblings couldn't do it because of living in different locations and their jobs.
My mother recently got a compressed fracture due to a chair collasping on her at home. She was sleeping in it (She has a sleeping issue, along with anxiety and worrying). She is lonely and depressed. She is having problems walking and doing things. I have been keeping in touch with her by phone and I visited her a couple times since the last time I spent the night at her house. She asked me to come over for a couple of nights and I told her I couldn't do it (The reason was I have a hard time sleeping at their house, I am not used to it). I asked her if friends could come over and spend the night with her, she said 'They won't do that". She told what happened to my Dad and he was upset.
Today, my mother and I reached an agreement that I was to come over once a week and spend one night with her. If things went okay sleep wise, then It would be upped to two nights. This was not acceptable to my dad. He told me "I thought that you gave me your word that you were going to move in with mom." I told him that I never told him that. He gave me the silent treatment throughout the visit and I was in tears. (He's lonely and doesn't like being at the rehab center).
After the visit, my mom said that we will try it once a week and see how it goes. I asked her if I had to move in with her and she said "He's just upset and lonely so he's in a bad mood." and "you don't have to move in with me."
I feel terrible. I feel selfish about what I did, but I don't want to lose my independence. I love my parents, I don't mind doing things for them and visiting with them, but I don't want to give my apartment and move in with them. I have talked about getting help with household chores with them but they refuse (They say it's money that they don't have, but I think it's them being stubborn more than anything). Friends and family have suggested things like help with household chores, even moving to assisted living. My mother tells them that it's her life and she should decide if she goes to assisted living or not.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I been crying on and off for most of the day. Maybe I am being selfish and being a bad child now.
(I also have anxiety and depression as well)