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I would be willing if it only involved her fixed income. But we recently sold her house and she now has a large sum of money in her account. If we manage it carefully she can live comfortably for several years. If not, she will not be able to afford where she lives now and anything else will be a major step down.
Her years of depression/anxiety have made her dependent on several drugs - Klonopin and marijuana specifically. She is not allowed to smoke where she lives now so I suspect she’s having withdrawals and wants to move somewhere she’s free to smoke. However, although the pot helps her mood wise, it also makes her unsteady on her feet. She’s suffered several falls - broken back twice, broken foot, bruising literally from head to toe. She is now in a very safe, upscale senior living center. And she’s turned on me accusing me of keeping her in the dark about her finances. What do I do? Turn it all over and walk away?

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If she’s mentally competent then you cannot refuse to turn over her finances. You have POA FOR her not over her. She’s still in charge here. You can’t go against her wishes. Have you kept meticulous records and shown her the bank statements and where her money is going?
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She’s showing behaviors of an addict, but unless it’s proven that she’s incompetent in the legal sense, she has a right to her money. She will be free to make decisions even the bad ones. It’s for you to decide, knowing her personality, if you can work a way to stay over finances and help make good decisions or if you know old patterns are going to repeat and the fight to change things is or isn’t worth it
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Your sister has a right to manage her own finances IF she is mentally capable of doing so. Your sister conferred POA upon you by her choice. It is her choice how long it remains IF she is competent in making this decision. When my brother was in care I sent him a monthly accounting of all assets in and all bills paid out. It was clear and simple. I also gave him an account, per his request, of 7,000.00 which he actually only GREW, rather than spend. He wanted to know it was there for him as is private account to spend as he liked. He was the one who ASKED me to become his POA and the Trustee of his Trust. I did everything exactly as he requested as he remained in sound mind. Had he not remained of sound mind he and his lawyer wrote strong language to allow me to take over his affairs for him.
So it is in the end simple. If she is of sound mind the choices are hers. If compromise as I suggested does not work, and she wants control, then explain to her that you will walk away if she ruins her financial situation, and that you will never discuss it again, and when she is thrown into the worst facility that exists you will not mourn the fact, that you will visit, but you will realize she made her bed, and it is hers.
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If she is competent and figures out how to revoke the POA, you will have to turn it over. Walking away or not is up to you.

Meanwhile, try to set her up for success by putting as much on autopay and direct deposit as possible.

She might be a good candidate for a single premium immediate annuity for a fixed period that will direct deposit into her account just in time to pay her rent. (NOT a variable or "investment" annuity.)
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How old is your sister? Did you get her out of debt using her own resources or did you use any of your own? Hopefully none of your own. You may want to consider scheduling an appointment with a financial advisor or estate planner who can look at all her assets and give her a spending schedule so that she knows exactly what she, how much budgeted money she can spend and (most importantly) what will happen if she blows through it. In this last scenario you can let her know that you will resign your PoA and she will become a ward of the county AND what that means in terms of where she lives and what care she gets. You must work on understanding that this is likely what will happen, so don't make a threat you aren't willing and able to carry out. This is likely to turn into a train wreck but you need not be voluntarily laying on the tracks.

We went through all types of hand-stands and enabling to get my in-laws to stop spending, see the light, stay on budget, just get a part-time job, blah blah blah. We found the print-out of the budget plan ripped up in their trash shortly after that meeting. For some people it is not a matter of reason or logic. I agree your sister may be behaving like an addict. In which case you definitely shouldn't enable her. You can't have her recovery for her. Whatever is going on inside her, she needs to want to improve her situation more than you want it for her. I wish you clear boundaries, much wisdom and peace in your heart.
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Thank you to all who responded. I appreciate all of the good guidance. Since I posted the question my sister has calmed down and says she realizes she needs help with her finances. This is an answer to prayer because I truly want her to have the best life possible for as long as possible. Thanks again. This forum has been a great help over the past several months of caring for my sister. And I have HUGE admiration for all who post and share their experiences.
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