Follow
Share

I took care of an elderly man. His son and daughter came and saw him a few times out of the year and half I lived with him. I don't believe he just died, everything just is not right to me. He never went to the doctor but he was to me in good health except that he had a hard time breathing after he walked just to the car; it would take him about 5min to gather himself. I've asked him if he wanted to go to the hospital he said no I am fine and he was as sharp as anything. When his son came to visit I explained to him he had a fever two days ago but it went down. I frequently took his temp, the son called his sister and she came by to check him. I told them he should go to the doctor because we had been exposed to covid. I even put a lg note on the door to let people know I took a test. I didn't have it I just wanted to be sure he was okay. He told his daughter he was fine so the son came the next day with his sister and told him to let them call a friend that works for hospice just to check him out and make sure. He agreed with them. A nurse came and said his oxygen was low but that was all she saw so they told the dad he needed more oxygent and if he would sign the paper so they could bring a machine so he could breather better and bring up his level. Okay, he signed now when the dad lay down I went to my room and overheard them talking and they said now he can't be revived if he stops breathing. As I walked in the living room I sat down they say you can even call an ambulance. I said excuse me are you saying if your dad happens to stop breathing I can't do cpr on him they said well my dad said if he stops breathing he doesn't want to be revived but that isn't what I heard them telling him it was just for bring up his level. Then later about two days later the machine is not working proper so I call the daughter to call hospice cause the machine isn't giving out any oxygen, so I got the emergence one and his level went back up and he was talking and everything. He went to bathroom by himself, eat, then the daughter comes. She is asking her dad to sign papers for power of attorney. He got mad and said I don't want you on my account, she said ok but if something happens to you how am I going to know what to do. So he was explaining certain thing to her then I notice the machine is not working again. I told her this is not right he should have full oxygen why are they giving him these bad machine. Then I went to get a few things, I come back and he tells me when his daughter left to make an appointment for him with cignia in a week for a second happening and why is my daughter acting like I am dying. I said I don't know but we will prove them wrong. The nurse came by and the daughter said his lungs were filling up. I got all upset. Why aren't any of them taking him to the hospital. It was as if they are letting him die. Then I told the daughter why she wasn't taking him she said because he is dying. I said how do you know, he has never been to the doctors. They can drian the fluid so he can breath, no this is the process of him dying. I still don't get it. Then the nurse says well we can give him ocxycotten. I am surprised she stared to hand me it and told me to squeeze it in his mouth. I said no I am not, he is in no pain. They ask him are you in pain, no I am fine. Yes I know you are fine but this will help you breathe. I walk out of the room because I didn't understand why they are giving him that, he never to any kind of drugs only aspirin. When they came out I told the nurse isn't oxycodone or cottemn can't that give you a heart attack. Oh no this to help them breath I never heard of that. Then they left although he still had his mind he told to get something for him so I did it was some evenlopes telling what the marks meant then the daughter came in and it was as he had gotten scared of her and she grab the evenlopes. He said I want her to have the van if I die and the evenlope, I said no Larry try to relax and breathe he said Alice please ok I said thank you I had to walk out I still didn't

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
When my MIL passed my BIL was her Executor. He put the house up for sale and the clean out began. Not once when we were there did a neighbor come knocking on the door. When my in-laws were there one couple did visit. Asked if there were a few things they could buy, BIL agreed and they set prices. He hired a company to do a "tag sale" of things that were left that none of us took. My BIL gave the organizer a list of the items that were paid for and who bought them because they were still to be picked up. None of us were there for the sale.

The first thing that happened was the man next door came and said he was there for the bedroom suite that MIL told his daughter she could have. I was told the same thing. The organizer said the Executor had left no instructions that he was coming for the suite. He had talked to my BILs earlier and said nothing to them.

Then the couple who bought pcs came to pick them up and said that MIL had promised them other things. Again the organizer said there was nothing on her instructions.

It was found at the age of 91 my MIL had promised her car to at least 2 different people. She was told by her lawyer to make codicils for any personal items she wanted to give to certain people. She didn't do it.

If your client wanted you to have the Van he should have written it up and had it notarized. Given you a copy and if he had a Will, placed it with his Will.

I really understand where you are coming from. If you had taken care of my father, I would have given u the Van. But children who are not involved in a parents life are the first ones to be there for their "rightful share". They are not obligated to give you anything but the salary you earned. Since your client/friend was on Hospice he was in his final days. Hospice doesn't come in unless a Doctor says his patient will die within 6 months. Since your client was on Hospice I doubt anything would be done if you went to the authorities.

My daughter witnessed a patient dying from CHF. The woman woke up saying she couldn't breath. My daughter went to get her a shot which works faster than a water pill. By the time she came back the woman was reaching for her and died right in front of my daughter. The woman's lungs had filled up and she literally drowned. Thats how CHF works.

I think you will need to just walk away. Be happy in the knowledge that for a year and a half you may have made this man's life better.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I think you'd be wise to learn about hospice care and what it entails. When someone is on hospice care, there is no CPR, no trips to the hospital, and at the end, comfort care such as painkillers to ensure an easier passing. (And no, it isn't killing them.)

You clearly have a good heart and cared for this gentleman, but you had a job. The job has ended, and you should have no expectations of receiving cars or anything beyond your paycheck, no matter what your client said.

Unless he went to his attorney and put it in writing, there's nothing to those promises. It's completely understandable that he wanted to express his great appreciation for your care and companionship, but unless it's in writing, it means nothing. His family now owns everything.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Understand I head him say end of discussion she came out made later the seven kids came and they were tell there sister you have to get him to sign over power of attorney to she said he won't brother got mad and said you got to fine a way then I just walk by them and out the door latter after they left I came back the daughter said she was going to stay over latter the next day I notice he was different I told the daughter I was going to go eat something when I came back and check him I found him in a worse stat she was given him the drugs and I just was so angry I didn't want no put of this latter that evening he said good nite she was going to sleep next to him okay I said I left with a friend of mine to get something and eat whenwr came back she lived across the street we were at her place and I just felt like it was important to see the old man when I went he couldn't talk any morethe daught ask me if she should give him some more oxy I said no I think he had to much I turned to him and said you don't what this stuff do you he was trying to talk but couldn't then he let out the sound of no I said see he don't after I sponage him down change him he went to sleep I walked out about three min the daughter comes and said I think his gone I jump off my bed and I know she had given him more she called the family they were there in lest then five min they started to laugh and said we can make him a hole made coffein and then said now look for anything with maps or any signs cards they did call the corner or police the police never came corner came at five pm he passed at three am the have made me leave my stuff still there they went through my stuff they found a thousand dollars hidden in the van torn the carpet the didn't give to me they weren't going to give me the van as he told the daughter they are the most careless folks I've ever seen then they said they wanted me to go to the funarke gave me the address put tore it out of my book the day of funarke I am ready there was the no address they never called asking me why I wasn't there yet and they toke my keys to the house right away after he died I need to know what can I do for them taking my stuff and not horning the man's last wishes while he was in his right mind oh she also told the brother we got it he signed the paper of power attorney and I known he didn't
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
JoAnn29 Oct 2021
It doesn't matter if he signed a POA, once he died its null and void. Its only good while he was alive. No one will except it now. If he has a Will the Executor he appointed will take over.
(2)
Report
If your things are in the house, you call the daughter and ask if you can get you personal stuff. Set up a time to get them and ask the time police to escort you. If she won't open the house for you, then go to the police.

Even if your client signed a POA its void when he dies. Can't be used to get to his accts, sell the house, etc. Hopefully he had a Will, if so, the Executor is now in charge. And that person cannot do anything until they go to the probate office and get a short certificate that gives the Executor the ability to handle the estate. All beneficiaries have to be notified that the Will is in probate. Once on file you can request a copy from the County Clerk. The Executor has to follow the Will.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Seems the man had congestive heart failure since his lungs were filling up. If he was on Hospice, if competent, he could sign off that he wanted them. It had to have been his decision. It should have been explained to him what being on Hospice entailed. He must have had a DNR saying he wanted no extreme measures to save him. That means no CPR. No hospital visits. The Morphine was given to him to ease his breathing. I think he knew all along that he had CHF and his days were #. Thats why he refused to see a doctor. Figured they couldn't do anything. Yes, he could have had his lungs drained but he would have to go all the time. He was probably taken water pills. Once you have to have the fluid drained, your heart muscle is pretty much gone.

For you, sorry you lost your friend. Sorry that the family treated him and you the way they did. If there was anything he wanted you to have, he should have put it in a Will or added it to his Will with a Cidicil. I hope you had somewhere to go? A live in should always have a back up plan.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Please use punctuation when you write. It’s very difficult to read otherwise…
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
JoAnn29 Oct 2021
Seems English is her second language
(2)
Report
See 1 more reply
This is a very difficult situation for you -- and his family. You only know what was transpiring in front of you, not what was being done and said outside of that. If they have take your items, then you have a case to be made with an attorney. Without a written contract about the van, it is doubtful you will be able to get this item he promised you as he was dying. One thing that low oxygen levels can cause is confused thinking, and there is no way to know if he actually was in his "right" mind as his last chaotic days unfolded. This family doesn't seem to have handled much in a respectable way -- but this is not uncommon. Still, it doesn't make it right. The only thing you can do is take whatever hard evidence you have to an attorney or investigator and they can tell you if what you have is useable towards some sort of legal action. I wish you peace in your heart and the recovery of what is rightfully yours.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This sounds very traumatic for you.

If you suspect something illegal, can you go to the Police?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I am very sorry for the loss of your client. He was lucky to have you care for him.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter