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I’ve already decided that once I’m 83 (71 now)I’m going to stop medications. I only take bp meds now so hopefully I can keep it at those. I have a good life and I don’t have a death wish, but I don’t want my kids to use their senior years stressing over me like I do with my mother.


Mom, age 95, Stage 5-6 dementia takes 22 pills a day and has no major physical health issues. Her labs are better than mine. Her meds are mostly anxiety, incontinence, dementia related, pain (arthritis), GERD, BP, cholesterol, neuropathy (not diabetes related). She can’t see, can’t hear, can barely string a sentence/thought together and wants to die. I told her my plan about not wanting to live as long as she has and she agreed saying I didn’t want you kids to go through this and I told her that was my reason too. Except for the obvious (big Pharma) why do doctors insist on all these drugs? Mom is too far gone mentally to make the decision to stop the meds (she lives for her 8,2,8 drug runs). Years ago people died of heart disease, stroke, and natural causes. Not anymore. Everything gets fixed, rehabilitated or medicated only to be returned to their wheelchairs to sit out their days. Quality of life doesn’t seem to be a factor. I know there are no answers for this. But thanks for letting me vent Hope everyone has a good day.

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My mother will be 95 in January, with pretty advanced dementia, living in Memory Care AL, wheelchair bound with non-diabetic neuropathy (20+ years now), pulmonary hypertension, GERD, depression/anxiety, incontinence, high BP, and AFIB. The reason why her doctor prescribes meds and sees her weekly is because my mother demands medication for everything! She's had a wart for 5 years that she's demanded be removed over 20x so far! She claims she 'wants to die' yet begs to be rushed to the hospital for everything under the sun. Fights off hospice tooth and nail, when hospice would give her the RELIEF she's desperately seeking. While she's 'too far gone mentally to make decisions', she's with-it enough to demand medications left and right, then complain that she's taking 'so so sooooooooooo many medications' all day long! Her blood work is always fine, and even though she has pulmonary hypertension, her EF is 50% which is quite normal for her age! So physically, she's not in THAT bad condition, but mentally, she's been in bad shape for a long time, even before the dementia set in.

So in my mother's case, it isn't the doctor who's insisting on all the drugs, it's HER! While she claims daily she wants to die and we should 'throw her out in the street' and yada yada, here she is, doing everything in her power to cling TO life, only to complain bitterly about it every single day. Makes NO sense to anyone.

I feel like the doctors are damned if they do, and damned if they don't. If they help the elders, they're the bad guy & in cahoots with Big Pharma. If they don't, then they're accused of leaving them to die. I'm glad I'm not a doctor myself, personally. And I'm glad I'm not 95, too.
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CaregiverL Sep 2021
Lealonnie, you are absolutely right!
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I freaked out when my mom's doctor suggested discontinuing most of her medications (what I feared most was a debilitating stroke that left her even more compromised), even then mom lived many years after that point and she did not die from heart disease or stroke. If you are your mother's healthcare proxy then there is no reason you can't discuss palliative care with her doctor with an eye to reducing medications while preserving quality of life.
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One word, my friend.

Medicare.

This why a 95 year old can have a team of specialists. Access to every kind of medication. All kinds of expensive medical equipment along with physical/occupational rehab therapy just to be returned to their wheelchairs to sit out the rest of their days. It's because these old folks generate a lot of money. Throw in if they have Medicaid as their secondary insurance, and sky's the limit.
Of course none of this is for say a younger person with lesser insurance who would actually benefit from it. This of course is because a younger person may recover and the medical industry wants repeat customers. Especially ones who they can bill to Medicare and Medicaid.
I don't think it's necessarily a blessing for people to live as long as they do. You are right people did die of things like heart disease, stroke, or just plain old age.
People did not live long enough to get to the point where they became so out of it from dementia as to be totally invalid and require a professional facility staff to care for them.
It's all about the money. It's almost guaranteed today that if a person lives long enough they will be on Medicaid. This is so because every cent or asset they ever had in their life had to be spent on their "care". Finally, when they are completely beggared they go on the state for a nursing home. Quality of life is not a factor. Quality of insurance is what matters now.
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Let's begin by saying this: I love my mom more than anything. She's been my support, best buddy, and at times, frenemy. But it's just ridiculous what is being done to extend life. She's 93 and just becoming miserable with the goings on of everyday life. She aches all over, she's incontinent for urine, her memory is lapsing. I will miss her more that life itself when she goes, but really folks? Enough. I applaud her doctor who offered prednisone for her body pain (which may be a throw back to a polymyalgia rheumatica). "I don't know why you can't take it if it can help with the pain. It's not like the meds are going to impact your life expectancy. Take them to make you feel better." Excellent advice! Other than comfort drugs, let's stop with the life extending drugs once a person hits 90.
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Unless your working with a gerontologist, doctors are not trained on end of life care. They are trained to fix medical conditions. There is no reason a 95 year old needs to take 22 pills. Some may be necessary to control pain and offer comfort. BTW, there are no meds for dementia. Meds are be prescribed for the disease that is CAUSING the dementia symptoms. Without knowing the cause, prescribing any drug for a neurodegenerative disease is inappropriate to say the least, and may cause more harm than good. Someone with AD may be prescribed certain cholinesterase inhibitors such as Aricept or Excelon. Prescribing these drugs to someone with FTD, however, can have an adverse reaction. It's important to know what's causing the dementia. That said, no drug is effective once a person is in the later stages of the disease.

As cwillie says, it's time to discuss palliative care for your mom.
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The doctor will keep providing the service as long as the service is requested. That's why we have to take charge of our own health decisions, or have a family member who will take over those decisions for us. Only a geriatrician is likely to hesitate keeping this stuff going indefinitely

If your mother isn't competent to make those decisions, who is making them for her? After consulting with my mother's hospice nurse about whether we were doing too much for my mother, I made the decision to discontinue her meds, except for those relating to comfort care. After stopping the blood pressure meds and diuretics, her edema disappeared rather than worsened, her BP remained steady, and she was finally COMFORTABLE because her body wasn't being forced medically to do things it really couldn't any longer. She lived another three weeks, and her death came naturally.

While I don't really advocate setting a random date like turning 83 as the time to stop using medications or seeing doctors, it is important for both doctor and patient to understand when the body is no longer metabolizing those medications properly and they're no longer working. My mother was on Lasix for seven years, and it didn't do anything for at least the last three years. I'm no doctor, so I didn't know that it was probably pointless to keep pouring that stuff into her, and the BP and blood thinning medications she took were more preventative to keep her from throwing a clot that anything else. She never had high blood pressure a day in her life, nor did she ever throw a clot either before or after being taken off those meds.

Make sure you're clear with your doctor and on the same page about what quality of life means to you. You're absolutely correct that once upon a time we would go along with our lives, then have a catastrophic event like a stroke or heart attack, then die. I don't care how much technology and medical advancements there are, I don't believe our bodies were meant to last 95 or 100 years, and we shouldn't keep pouring drugs into our systems to pretend they were.
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You can make the decision to stop medications that she may no longer need.
Medications for dementia do not work forever. At some point they can be discontinued as there is no longer a benefit to them. (If you do decide to discontinue it consult the doctor as some have to be discontinued slowly)
If mom is incontinent is a medication for incontinence actually helping? If not talk to the doctor about discontinuing that as well.
When I signed my Husband up with Hospice they gave the option of continuing medications he was on or discontinuing them I decided to discontinue Cholesterol medication and the Aricept (dementia med). He was on Hospice for 3 years after discontinuing the meds and it was a "routine" decline for what I presume to be Vascular dementia as well as the Alzheimer's. Discontinuing the meds did not seem to be detrimental to him.
But since, I presume you are POA for m om it can be your decision to discontinue meds and other treatments.
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At least get her off the cholesterol medication. Higher cholesterol in the elderly is protective and a good thing. Not to mention cholesterol meds can permanent damage tendons. And she's 95 does it really matter if her cholesterol is high? Sometimes I have to wonder about these doctors and their ridiculous nonsense in what they will and won't prescribe.
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cwillie Sep 2021
It matters if the senior has narrowing of the arteries due to cholesterol and a history of heart attack and/or stroke - I've mentioned before that I was astonished when I saw the before and after images of my mom's carotid arteries, I never imagined that such a dramatic reduction in narrowing was even possible. That said at 95 and with a terminal diagnosis of dementia I agree that statins are likely no longer beneficial.
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"anxiety, incontinence, dementia related, pain (arthritis), GERD, BP, cholesterol, neuropathy (not diabetes related)."

I would ask that the dementia related pills be stopped. They do no good after a certain point. Also the cholesterol. She's 95 and it has been proven statins contribute to dementia. They also eventually effect the liver and should be stopped when the enzymes are ellivated. Is she still walking? If in a wheelchair, I would have the neuropathy meds stopped too unless for pain. But then she is getting pain meds for arthritus. I would also have labs done to make sure the meds are leaving her body. Elderly don't seem to get rid of meds like younger people so they build up in the system. She may be able to take a lower dose.

Just read they build up because of kidney problems and dehydration.
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Maggie, I agree with everything you said! Hugs 🤗
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