I am secondary as POA for both of my parents, who should know I am POA?

I am the DPOA and Executor for my mom. I just sent a text message to my siblings and made copies for her doctors, bank, and etc. I also keep a copy of signatures with me in case it is needed. If they want more then I will produce whatever they want. Only problem I've had is cashing in one of her annuities to help keep her in assisted living. They insisted on all of the t's crossed and the i's dotted. But it got done. Mom's whole retirement has gone for her care in assisted living. She's 89. I encouraged her to go into assisted living after dad passed away. I have about 8 more months of money to cover her expenses and then I'll have to figure out what is the best route after that. Maybe I've had it easier than most families when it comes to this POA stuff. My brothers are glad it's me doing it and my sister is only angry because I moved mom from PA (where they all live, but didn't visit her) to Florida where she is 3 miles from me. It is easier as I can stay on top of her care with her close to me.

Having your parents set up a Trust is also important. Making sure all of their assets are put in the name of the Trust makes it so much easier once they pass. The Trustee can then submit the necessary forms for life insurance policies, cash out CD’s and other funds, move around monies in checking/savings as needed (which also can be done as POA, before someone dies).

I was so grateful for the wise instruction of a financial planner who helped me get my parents’ accounts correctly identified as Trust Accounts. We gathered a list of every account they had and worked through them to be sure they were correctly labeled. Be sure to check on the house, too. We sold my parents’ house after my mom passed, but while my dad was still living. When we arrived at the closing, I was handed a check for my deceased mom and one for my dad—surprise, the house had not been listed and placed into my Dad’s Trust after Mom passed. I had no major problems putting the funds into my dad’s bank account, but it was a little unnerving to be handed that check.

While many accounts can be updated online, there will be times when you’ll have to submit certified forms or take in the actual documents for an institution to copy into their own files. It really does make life much easier when you address this up front before your loved ones are needing more of your own attention.

I always carried copies of the HIPPA forms, my parents POA forms, and a list of current medications that I could grab when heading to doctors, ER's, or hospitals. It made it easier for me to have this to hand to the appropriate people especially in an emergency situation (which most people can expect when caring for an elderly loved one).

Also, getting help from an Elder Law Attorney is extremely beneficial. It will help to keep you accountable in case siblings want to complain. There are some financial items that you as POA/Trustee are not required to communicate with your siblings while your parents are living. You can share some financial balances, expenses, etc., but they do not need to know specific account numbers, etc. You have the fiduciary responsibility to keep your loved ones private information and account numbers safe.

There are numerous books that can help with valuable information. One book I appreciated was PLEASE DON’T DIE, BUT IF YOU DO, WHAT DO I DO NEXT? by Kurt Grube (also comes as a Kindle edition).

You are wise to check into this before it is needed.

Social Security has their own form as do some banks. Would folks be willing to add you as POA to their accounts. Some banks and financial institutions have their own processes and forms and procedures. I imagine the VA may have its own form as well.

Get certified copies, some will not accept photocopies. The POA's should be on file with every doctor, dentist, hospital that they may visit. What about utility companies? Any place that they conduct business with regularly.

Siblings, depends on how the folks want this done. It could be it would open the can of worms, dysfunction is they are notified. But, it may save hurt and decrease questions and stress later.

First of all, kudos to you! You're being proactive and putting plans in place before you actually need them. Knowing what "the plan is" relieves a lot of stress when you have to actually put it into play.

You need to have the original copy of these forms. No institution will accept your "copy of the copy". Talk to doctors, banks, and lenders about the POA. They will probably make their own copies of your original for their files. Now is a good time to "know" your parents' financial business and get things set up for the "just in case" scenarios.

After you and your parents - together - have dealt with the "business" aspects, share the plan with your family members. They should be well aware of the arrangements so there will be no arguments when you have to act on the plans.

As noted by previous postings the POA form is needed when a parent is unable to address their own affairs. We began using the POA after a diagnosis of moderate dementia was made and confirmed by testing. I have provided the forms to all health care facilities/providers, utilities, banks, life insurance, investments, etc. Some such as the investment company had their own form that needed to be submitted, but most accepted the attorney's form.
POAs do need to be updated. For example, while my step-father was joint POA with my mother, when he died, we had the POA form updated to indicate myself and another sibling. My sibling is also on the bank account now as an owner. There are other aspects of estate planning that we wish we could have accomplished but such as changing the ownership of mother's house.In any case, because there are five children, this action was shared with all. I make a point of conferring with my co-POA about major decision and emailing the group of siblings so they will be informed and can if need share their concerns. I would advise checking in with an attorney in your state to make sure that you are aligned with any specific state laws.

Get every bank and financial account number, every bill and utility, contacts for every doctor and specialist. Create online log-ins for all. Create auto-pay for bills. If you do it now before a serious emergency, it will already be in place when you need it. Also, if you create log-ins for accounts, that means a dishonest paid caregiver or handyman cannot.

First, take that 14 in long POAs and have the shrunk to fit 8 1/2 to 11 in. Makes it so much easier to copy from home printers.

I wouldn't worry about giving anyone a copy till needed. I had one on file at the local hospital, doctors and the bank. I wouldn't worry about utilities until you need to make changes. I still had Moms bills coming to her home because someone was living there. I was on her checking account but not as POA. I did have to cash in CDs and thats when the bank wanted a copy. What I would do, is have ur parents call the utility cos. and creditors and have u down as a contact if bills aren't paid and someone who can talk to them. This way, u don't have to supply a POA. The VA is a good idea too. You may want to have parents put u on HIPPA forms.

I’m not sure that you need to do anything unless and until the remaining parent becomes unable to attend their own affairs.

My mother is POA of my father w/me secondary, and I’m POA to her. As far as I know, there is nothing to be done by me with respect to either because the condition precedent (their respective incapacities) has not come to pass.

Are your parents both incapacitated right now?

All of the above with the exception of your siblings. Unless your sibs demand to see a copy of the paperwork. Otherwise all those you mentioned above will need copies of your POA papers. You'll also need to be added to your parents back accounts as well.

I have two friends who are POA's and Executrixes. I have made sure that every single doctor, every business, credit card companies, everyone - all have a copy of my POA on file if my two friends need to contact them. I am also a POA for two people and I made sure every single contact dealing with them in any way has my POA on file now. Do it now - everyone.