My father has been in a nursing home for 4 years now. He has two kinds of dementia. Some days are good and some are really bad. There isn't much in between. I went to visit him the other day, and all he wanted to talk about is going home. I told him that I had to talk to the doctor. He yelled at me and told me he doesn't have a doctor and hasn't seen one since he has been there. So he said again he wants to go home. I asked him where home is. He said that he didn't know but it is wherever my mom is living. I said she is in heaven and he swore at me. Then he asked when that happened. I told him 4 years ago. He said that is impossible because he talked to her this morning. I told him that he probably did. He swore at me again and I told him that if he is not nice I am going home. That didn't last more than 2 minutes. So I ended up leaving. I know it is the disease and not him talking, but I don't believe I need to take that abuse. I am running out of ideas what to say to him when he asks to go home. Some things I tried, "You are safe here", "Maybe another day",
" you are well cared for here", ...but nothing seems to calm him down anymore. Any suggestions?