Follow
Share

There is insurance on her car but it can't cover her, I had been paying it but just switched payments over to her personal account. I took the keys away and she was livid, basically purple with rage. She was so angry that I gave her the keys back because I thought she might have a stroke. She cannot be reasoned with. If I am liable then I would prefer to remove myself from POA. She drives slowly to a local strip mall for groceries, pharmacy, and a restaurant, bank etc.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
No you are not legally liable but the car must go. Ask her doctor for a calming Med to help her manage her frustration until she accepts it. Be available to help her get to her strip mall or find her an Uber driver or companion to take her back and forth. It will help her become accustomed to having a stranger help her with her daily activities and allow her to live at home longer.
She doesn’t get to have a hissy fit to get her way and run the risk of potentially hurting someone or herself. Most accidents happen close to home. 1 in 3 within a mile of home I have read. It is not easy giving up one’s independence but it’s not easy being the bad guy either. I’m sorry.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

Let her have a fit and keep the world safe from her. She could run over a kid in the grocery store parking lot. YOUR sense of guilt would be overwhelming. Provide alternative means of transportation and if she drives call the cops.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

If her license is gone, please for the love of God, take the keys away. Don’t tell her that you did, just be ‘Oh no! Where could they be???’ And for heaven’s sake, don’t give them back. How bad will you feel if she hits someone? You may not be liable, but it will absolutely be your fault.

I wouldn’t want that blood on my hands for anything. I don’t care how purple she gets. If she has a stroke, call 911.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

There's no reason to pay for insurance because they won't pay anyway. Whether she's at fault for an accident or not, once the insurance company finds out she has AD and was instructed to surrender her license, they'll deny the claim. Her insistence on driving could be the death of her or another. There's a reason Alzheimer's patients aren't allowed to drive.

No, as POA you are not liable for her decsions.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Her estate would be liable (and possibly obliterated).
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

So she gets angry.

Even though you are not legally reaponsible, from what I'e read of your other posts, you allow this narcissistic woman to manipulate you and destroy your future.

How about setting a boundry for once and saying "no" and sticking to it.

If she has a stroke, so be it.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

Having been through this with my own LOs, the mistake most people make is that they suddenly (and often very undiplomatically) "take the keys" and a fight ensues, and no surprise there.

You say she doesn't have a license plus she cannot be reasoned with. This means no "normal" discussion or approach is going to keep her calm and accepting. Yet, she needs to be prevented from using the car asap. Many on this forum have disabled the car so that it's not start-able: disconnect the battery or remove other parts that would prevent her from knowing what is wrong with it. You may even want to discretely engage her neighbors to let them know what's up and maybe they can help with this strategy. If she asks a neighbor for help they should know to call you instead of a mechanic. Is she able to call a tow truck by herself? You need to be prepared for this and as her PoA you will need to contact that shop to prevent any work and then get busy selling it and cancelling her insurance. It's not enough to deflate tires, the car needs to be difficult to reinstate.

The other half of this ruse is to discretely ask neighbors to offer to drive her to the store or to pick up items for her. You can consider a grocery delivery service and anything that solves the need for her to drive anywhere. I wish you all the best -- it's not a pleasant responsibility to carry out but you're the one in the moral and ethical position to prevent a possible calamity for her or others.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Did the State take her licence away? If so, I would call the police and ask if an officer can come over and explain to your Aunt that she can no longer drive.

Do you drive her car? POA, if sell it. Disable it. Then when she tries to drive it it won't run. Tell her u will put it in the shop. Find a place to put it till u sell it, if POA says u can sell. When she asks about the car, tell a fib. Trying to find a part. Needs more work.

Your Aunt should not be on the road.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I'm not sure about the rules laws and stipulations of being a POA in your state but but beyond that she's endangering not only herself but innocent others. There's a couple techniques that she ain't going to like but I'll save some lives. One you can raise the hood disconnect some wires and tell her the car is broken and y'all don't got no money to fix it ..to hide the car
.haven it hauled off to junk or sell it..u can maybe park it at a friend's house maybe she'll forget about driving. If she gets caught without a license no matter how old you are she can be arrested and put in jail and that would be her death sentence. If she b****** and moans and groans about it then maybe set up some sort of transportation services ..maybe her insurance will help pay for rides to go to the doctor or even pay privately on occasion to go out shopping if she's able to do that. There's many ways you can save her and others lives.. you need to do it..now
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter