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It has been 6 long years and I have checking account receipts. I am over whelmed with the paper work. My family doesn't even speak to me anymore. It hurt's so bad. I am learning to detach myself but it's not fair that Dad doesn't get to see his grandkids and they only live eight miles away. I am so over whelmed with emotions to the point I can't function and feel guilty and fear of doing something wrong. My Dad still lives in his own house with partime care givers and I am unable to care for him physically. Any advice would be so much appreciated.

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I keep every receipt. Even if you don't need them for the family, you may need them someday for Medicaid.
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You have a great deal on your plate. What I do with receipts is have big manila envelope for each month. At the end of each week I pull the receipts out of my wallet and put them in the envelope. At one time I entered them into a spreadsheet, but now, I know that I have them. I use debit to pay for almost everything, so I have some form of back up (no details).

You are not responsible for whether or not the family goes to visit dad. Dad lives in his own house and they can go see him when you are not there. If they choose not to that is on their heads not yours. One of my sons refuses to go see his grandmother, he is an adult and I do not force it.

Do you have a counsellor, therapist or spiritual leader who can give you support? When we are overwhelmed even day to day living is hard, let alone making care decisions for another person. Many communities have low cost or free counselling services for the asking.

Can you take a respite break? Go away for a weekend, or take yourself out for dinner, to a play, a sporting event, something you enjoyed in the past? There is a significant date each year that is a very challenging day for me. I plan months ahead to do something entirely for me that day, to turn a negative into a positive.
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debib399, regarding the bill paying and the paperwork involved. Yes, the paperwork can be overwhelming.

For myself, when it came time for me to take over the bill paying for my Dad, I used 3-ring binders to keep the receipts. For every bill that came in the mail, I would place a newly written check on top of the bill and make a letter sized xerox copy of it, before mailing out payment.  Then the copy went into the binder.

For those misc small paper receipts for cash or credit card payments at stores, I would later take those receipts and put 3 or 4 of them onto the copier. Then I would toss out the original receipts as now I could store them into a binder.

I did all of this just in case later down the road my Dad needed to sign up for Medicaid, or once he passed if Probate needed this information.

Ok, regarding a home copier. With the cost of computer printers getting less and less, and with printers now having xerox capability.... I found it was worth the price to keep me more organized.  Watch for sales.
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Don't get rid of receipts, or stop saving them. My father passed and for months and months my brother made life miserable. He wanted nothing to do with Dad, other than trying to wrest away the things he wanted. I told Dad I didn't want to be the DPOA or the Executor, because we have never gotten along, and I was sure he would attack me. Bro was banned from the facility by the personnel there, because he was hindering Dads' recovery. Before Dad passed, he told me to watch bro, cause if he got his hands on things, we would both be screwed. Keep the receipts.
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I wrote checks for everything. My bank shows small pictures of the checks on my statement for a small fee. Main bills like utility bills I keep the year before but shred all other years. Mom had a small pension I paid for personal items out of. I kept these receipts with the pension check stub. If I had to charge something for her or pay out of pocket I wrote myself a check from her account and kept those receipts. I would keep receipts for large items. But really anyone asking should be able to look at a bank statement and see where the money is going. Keep five years of bank statements in case Medicaid is ever needed.

So sorry about ur family.
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If ur paying for care I would keep copies of hours and wages.
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You will never be sorry if you document, document, document. I kept every receipt and was happy I did, I needed them when accused of financial exploitation.

I used an expandable 12 section file. It was measured about 9"x 4". It worked perfectly well for me. I also kept a spreadsheet that I would total out each month to put in a different section of the file each month. Initially it was a PITA but became routine and got much easier.
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