I moved my mother into my house with me about five yrs ago. The goal was to keep her out of a nursing home or assisted living as she has very little in the way of funds to spend on such a thing. I have worked hard to make sure that she doesn't lose her independence by insisting that she do for herself everything that she can so she doesn't lose the ability to do so. She doesn't really like to do for herself but does so because I insist. I've explained to her why this is important....for her and for me. No one should burn out their care giver when it doesn't have to occur.
Lately, she is getting more and more critical when I, age 63, go off to do my own things. I have retired now and have a life to live as well. She makes comments in an attempt to produce guilt when I go off in the evening to a concert or to play trivia, etc. she is capable of taking care of herself for many hours on her own. I've gotten her an alert button that calls me as well.
I've spoken to her about this over and over again.,, and yet, she can't seem to stop the comments, scowling, sighing or frowning. I've told her that that is quite enough. If she wants someone to come over to stay with her, she needs to request it. She never seems to do that.
I cheer my adult children on in their ventures. She thinks a woman should stay home and live in the box that is the house. I'm becoming resentful and have told her this. This will not end the way she wants it to if she doesn't stop with the guilt trips.