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She was taking care of her boyfriend and became ill herself. It has been three years and I am tired. I want out. Any suggestions would help...

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Hi whitepat
Are you the DPOA for your friend? What happened to her BF?
Where are they living? What are the health concerns that require them to need help?
Are they on Medicare or Medicaid?
Do they have private funds to pay for care?
Generally speaking for those without savings and in need, Medicaid is the next step.
Contact the Area Agency on Aging and ask how they can get a needs assessment and what resources are available to them.
Give us more information for better answers.
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If she has any family contact them and let them know that you can't care for her anymore. You will have to make provisions for her before you stop caring for her. If you've taken her to the doctor, sometimes doctor's can refer caregivers to social workers. Are you familiar with her doctor? If so, call their office and explain that you need to get in touch with a social worker. Also, do some online research on elder care or aging care or anything like that in your area. Look for an agency that can help steer you in the right direction.
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When you began caregiving for these people, did you sign a contract and get paid for your care or were you doing it out of the goodness of your heart? Does she have any family? After 3 years, you should know if she has family or not. Because it’s been 3 years, you cannot just walk away. If you have Power of Attorney, that’s even more reason to contact her family. You can resign that position, but again, you can’t just walk away.

Write a letter to each member of her family that you are aware of. Send It certified which means they have to sign for it to say they received it. Tell them that you will no longer be able to care for her. They have 90 days to make other arrangements because you will no longer be available. At the same time, do call your local Area Agency on Aging and inform them what you are doing. They can suggest the next step. If you do have POA, you will need to involve an attorney. If you don’t, and you hear nothing from her family or she doesn’t have any, Adult Protective Services may need to get involved. It is not your responsibility to find other living arrangements for her or find funding.
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Ages would help. Yours vs theirs.

Being good hearted has its draw backs. Its hard to say no. I have been there and been overwhelmed trying to do for others. I was able to back off when I started to babysit Gson 5x a week. Going right into caring for Mom. Mom passed Sept 2017. Since then I have tried not to get involved helping others. I feel guilty but still dealing with Moms house and a special needs nephew.

More info would help us give you some suggestions. Where is the woman's family?
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