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for my parents for 5+ years. My army veteran father passed away at the age of 84 on Dec. 22, 2018 from bladder cancer...9 days away from my parents 61st anniversary. My mother has MCI which we believe is Dementia so my brother and his wife (whom has mental health challenges) have been there 24/7 for two days in a row...and then I come for 24/7 for two days ...I am married and go home on my days off...my husband is still working full-time but has been caring for his 90 year old father on his time off for 9 years. We are exhausted and overwhelmed now because my brother has been unemployed due to company lay-off for 4 years and cannot find full-time employment. He has been bothered by sciatica and severe back pain and now find out he was born with a congenital deformity probably contributing to the problem now...how do we handle this situation...there is no other family/friends to help..my Mom is from Germany and met my Dad when he was stationed there..our parents ALWAYS worked two and three jobs to provide for us...thus our belief in taking care of them until the end.. I do not know how to continue to care for my Mom 24/7... and my brother who has his own house...there is no long term care insurance for my Mom or readily available funds for a facility?? Thank you all and GOD BLESS the CARETAKERS !!!

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Have you looked in to VA benefits since your dad was a veteran? If he served in a war or during wartime, your mom may be able to get aid & attendance and other assistance. It honestly sounds like it’s time for her to go to assisted living. And please don’t think for one minute that placing her into a facility means you aren’t taking care of her because you are.
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Yes, god bless them, but they are not saints and should not be martyred. Clearly it may be time for some placement in care, at least for some time. Your Mom may have to go on Medicaid for placement. But there is quite honestly not a lot of choice at this time. So wishing you good luck going forward, and good and fast healing.
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Does your mom have any financial means? She may not have enough for full private pay in AL, but you can start by at least lightening your load by hiring some in-home agency help for a few hours a day to start. My family uses Visiting Angels and a companion-level helper who can run errands, do light housekeeping, help my LOs with bathroom and showering, and entertainment. The rate is $22 p/hr in FL. Since your mom is from Germany I'm not sure what the rules are whether she can receive Medicaid or not. You need to contact her county's Dept of Health and Human Services. Your brother will need to figure out his own care and not depend on you two for all his care or financial help...you have your hands full! I wish you all the best!
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worriedinCali Jan 2020
Her mom is a citizen, she can get Medicaid. It’s not like she just came this country. She’s been here decades and worked in this country.
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"  To meet Medicaid eligibility guidelines, every applicant is required to be a resident of New Jersey. Petitioners must be a U.S. national, citizen, legal alien or permanent resident. However, those who are ineligible for Medicaid due to their immigration status may still qualify for emergency treatment, provided they meet all other Medicaid eligibility requirements."

The above is from the NJ site. I thought people residing here at least 5 years were entitled to benefits like Medicaid. My MIL was a War bride. She came here in 1946. She had a green card, never applied for Citizenship. She was able to get SS based on my FILs earnings. She worked a very short time. She had Medicare. Medicaid never had to be applied for but looks like she could have received it. She was independent until 91.
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worriedinCali Jan 2020
They have to do more than just reside here in order to be entitled to
medicaid. They have be legal residents, which.....you don’t get just by living here. But that said the OPs mom has been here for decades and worked in this country. I would be very very surprised if she never became a legal resident. The OP only brought up Germany to explain why there isn’t other family to help
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