We don't have much detail about your situation, but a good starting place when dealing with narcissistic folks, is the book "Boundaries" I think the author's last name is Cloud.
It's a tricky dance, trying to help them, without getting embroiled in their manipulations and then enabling their behaviors. There are many, many threads here on variations of this topic, I'd pour a cuppa something and dig around here for a bit, reading others stories. If nothing else, it helps reaffirm that you aren't crazy and others are in the very same boat.
{{{hugs}}} to you, it's a rough road to travel under the best of circumstances, but when you are LIVING WITH THEM . . . . it's a minefield!
Thank you for answering, I have since explored this sight and been reassured I am not alone. I can't make her change her stinking diaper or clothes. I am trying to be as good as I can and make sure she is safe. I know she needs my help even if she doesn't. I just try not to get to close to her the smell. Oh yes she constantly takes my clothes!
Look for other stories on this site. Click on ‘care topics’ on the right hand top of the screen, then on ‘N’, and you will find 7 articles, 241 questions and 46 discussions about narcissism.
It's a tricky dance, trying to help them, without getting embroiled in their manipulations and then enabling their behaviors. There are many, many threads here on variations of this topic, I'd pour a cuppa something and dig around here for a bit, reading others stories. If nothing else, it helps reaffirm that you aren't crazy and others are in the very same boat.
{{{hugs}}} to you, it's a rough road to travel under the best of circumstances, but when you are LIVING WITH THEM . . . . it's a minefield!
https://www.boundaries.me/blog/
Also, you might want to look into AL for her.