I was 9 when her "parentification" of me started. I prefer to call it emotional rape, because that's the way it felt. It happened many times from about 1969-1974. To this day, I am both terrified and enraged towards her. She doesn't know this, because I stuff my feelings inside. I am 60, and she is almost 85.
Mom does not remember these horrific events. (She had a cancerous brain tumor removed last December, and I believe she's in some phase of dementia. Both could affect her memory). But she in turn believes she was "Mother of the Century" to me, so my serious issues are just me being nasty, or my husband being evil. She is perfect. I know that is part of having NPD, but I'm still angry about it.
Perhaps if I were a better person, I could just "get over it" and continue seeing her 2x/week. But I can't, because it hurts too much. Emotional incest. Wow. I guess I really just want her to feel MY PAIN for a long, long time as payback. I know - that's wrong. But it's the truth. How can I handle this, and live a happier life?