Mom has Alzheimer's. She was put on certain psych meds when she was first put into the memory care unit of this organization because of her "behaviors." Agitation, hitting, etc. She's been there 3 years and she is declining - cannot even get out of her chair without their help. They have agreed to reduce but it is a constant battle and I'm so tired of it. Just had another meeting yesterday with staff and the same nurse that is causing such a stir about Mom's reduced meds said that after they reduced the psych meds she noticed behavior problems like when they get her up in the morning she flails her arms and is nasty, smacking...My Mom is 85 years old and she has never liked to get up early in the morning - neither do I! I just want to know what are my rights? I have POA for everything. I feel this nurse and a few other staff members just want Mom on the meds because they don't want to deal with her - as a human being. It's like they forget they are human beings and yes still have MOODS. Good and Bad. I want Mom off these for several reasons - first and foremost they are NOT approved by FDA for Alzheimer's and a couple of them have side effects - high risk in elderly and dementia for stroke. Secondly, she has been so dopey she makes no sense whatsoever - I understand what the disease does - I've done my research....but since they have actually reduced a couple of them I completely can tell the difference - she actually makes sense when we talk - not all the time but my MOM is in there. And I can tell just by looking in her eyes - she is so much more cognizant. This nurse said she just doesn't think she is happy that's why she wants her on these meds. ARE you kidding me NOT happy??? Who would be happy in this situation??? I am just very very frustrated!!!!! I am afraid to say too much directly to this nurse because I do not like confrontation and I am also afraid they might move my Mom - I like where Mom is with the exception of this issue. And this nurse has, in her own way, threatened that exact situation - like if Mom did not get on a certain med, and they could not handle her, they would have to move her. And there is really no other place Mom can go in our town with a memory care unit that takes Medicaid. Anyone else have these issues??? I am my Mom's ONLY voice - unfortunately for her!!!!
Windyridge has a reliable answer that you could consider, weighing heavily on his experiences.
He has been an excellent caregiver to both his parents.
Iwould much rather have my old dad back but he’s just not there now.
Without the meds Dad would be confused, angry, paranoid, and trying to break out every 10 minutes. And hitting staff. We had that happen a few months ago. That’s when he started his meds. Otherwise they would call me and tell me to get him out. No facility would take an ALZ patient with a strong right hook.
There’s nothing but bad and worse choices here. In our case we go with the meds. I relate this just as one persons experience. I realize it doesn’t apply to every case but it’s pretty typical.
The doctor's orders supersede what the nurse wants. Can you get him on your side? Stating you don't believe she needs to be drugged into oblivion, and you have observed her as herself with less meds.
You should not need to be battling with the staff. Contact the ombudsmen, be brave, because she is not being treated properly as it is, and you should not be afraid of this nurse, mention the threat pending to the ombudsmen. Contact info is required by law to be posted.
Some caregivers have found more effective ways to work around this issue and did not make the report to the ombudsmen. Other resident's families may have already reported the nurse, likely. You may not be alone in this.