I have been on disability due to mental stress/ health issues. Live with husband and 31yr. old son who drinks. Days b4 he went to hospital police were called on son,verbal abuse. We agreed son couldn't live here unless he stopped drinking. We agreed all thru his hospital n rehab stay. Was released from rehab facility and was walking n going to bathroom with help. Long story short, gets home, stops walking,using adult diapers.He lets son come back,now I do all the caring n work involved.Son does least possible, leaves sees him 4 20mins.a day. Lives here. Is abusive, toward me. Now husband is very ill and and is abusive toward me.I do everything for husband. neglecting myself. The son,is only person that talks to him.
Now, husband sides with son, takes car keys, says I owe it to him. 3 other grown children want nothing 2 do with him. This 1 son and husband have always been nasty toward me. Got much worse. Marriage was on the way out b4 hospital. My family in another state welcomes me.I am feeling beaten down n trapped. Now it's 2 against 1 plus I have to care for an immobile 350lb man.Called office on Aging, I get sympathy. I need 2 know my rights. I am physically and mentally not capable of taking care of him.Both are very verbally abusive. I can't do it! The situation is volatile and I need to leave,4 my sake as well as his. 3yrs. ago I was an inpatient due to stress. Finally started slowly getting better and now this.I also have back,heart, n other physical conditions. Can anyone recommend who 2 contact? I livein N J.I need help not sympathy. Husband also refuses physical therapy, will not let me bathe him, over a month. He wants 2 sit n be served while doing nothing 2 help himself get better, putting the blame on me because he says I upset him ( when I change his wet bedding,ask to bathroom him,to try 2 walk) etc. Turns it on me, like I'm the bad person. For God sakes,over a month of not be bathed, n son sees nothing wrong, says not his responsibility. I need real help. This situation will kill me . Help,anything, .#s, suggestions, is it legal to leave? His son is capable to care for him, he doesn't want to. He would rather be his buddy for 20mins a day n get drunk at night.It's 2 against 1. What are my rights? I am disabled n the facility that released him knows that. I asked, "what if I can't do it". The answer was " then you can't do it" his 20 paid Medicare days were up. Alot going on here ....There has to be help out there 4 me, but where? Also we rent, the rug in the bedroom is too hard for me to explain... What are my rights? Where do I start? Should I just Leave? I'm not able to deal with this situation.