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I am my wife's primary caregiver. We have caregivers come in a couple times a week. When I leave our apartment to go do something, my wife goes out the door looking for me. If the caregiver is cooking, she has to turn off the stove and follow after my wife to bring her back. My wife gets into things as she is walking which disturbs other residents. If I can't go for a walk or do something on my own, what is the point of paying a caregiver? Any suggestions for either issue would be greatly appreciated.

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All of the suggestions written by previous posters are good ones.

In addition to a more complicated lock on the door that your wife can't operate unsupervised, you can also try camouflaging the door so your wife won't recognize it as a door.

There are stick on murals that can be applied to the door so it looks like a bookcase. Also, a black doormat can look like a hole to someone with dementia.

https://www.alzstore.com/door-murals-peel-and-stick-p/0364.htm
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Reply to Dogwood63
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You can get some "childproofing" devices to keep your wife from being able to leave when she is alone with the caregiver. Consider whether you need to do other safety-proofing as well. This article has useful information.

https://www.silverado.com/journey-resources/dementia-proofing-your-home-a-caregivers-guide-to-safety-and-comfort/

You might begin thinking about whether your wife will need a memory care placement, if her needs increase. I'm sorry you and she are experiencing these issues.

You could look into having Meals on Wheels delivered, if cooking is an issue.
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Reply to MG8522
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You can order special hinges and put them on your door. Look up Alzheimer hinge locks.
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Reply to southernwave
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You can order fresh cooked food online from Factor X and a number of other providers. Pop it in the microwave for 2 minutes on high, and you've got a meal. Check into it! I've used it and the food is good. The meals are never frozen, so it's nothing like eating a frozen meal in a tray.

Get locks for your doors and secure them when you leave. The caregiver will need to know how to unlock them for safety reasons, of course.

The above suggestions will only help for a short period of time. Your wife needs 24/7 care with professional caregivers. Then you'll be able to do what you want - but you will need to visit her often, especially at first. Start looking at facilities while your back isn't to the wall yet. I wish you luck in finding a great place for your wife.
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Reply to Fawnby
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i bought the number pad lock for the inside of my front door. This has saved us from my escapee mom! I bought it on Amazon.
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Reply to MonkeyShark
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Perhaps you need to pay someone to come do whatever cooking needs to be done for you and your wife and also a caregiver to strictly keep an eye on your wife. That way the cooking will get done and your wife will be kept safe, and you can get out and do what you need to and not worry about how your wife is doing.
Again that would mean hiring 2 different people, one to cook and one to keep your wife occupied while you're out and about.
And of course if caring for your wife is now getting to be just too much for you it may be time to look into having her placed in the appropriate facility.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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This is all part of caregiving. To be honest, a grown adult with strength is more a problem than a toddler, but it involves the SAME level of not understanding and not being in control, of acting on impulse; and the same neccesity for the caregiver to adapt on-a-dime.

Were you there at home, it would be the SAME, but now it is the purview of the caregiver hired on to--yes-- turn off the stove and run get your wife. This is what the caregiver is hired to do. Stop worrying about it the time you are free.

Eventually this will not be sustainable. You are one person. Your wife now requires the help and supervision of an entire SHIFT OF PEOPLE. She may need placement. That is just a fact in all of this, and I am so sorry for it. I wish you the best of luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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