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Husband has stage one dementia and has trust issues.  Will not see certain doctors and do tests.


When he sees a new doctor, if he says something he doesn't like
he will say he lied, and will not go back. He's gotten tests done at the same place, but will not go back again because he says that they are going to lie.
I have changed doctors many times. This last time he would not go back because the other doctor was from the same office.


He will see his primary doctor, but he needs a specialist at times. I thought maybe a change of med may help, says he is depressed.


HELP!

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Your husband likes and trusts his primary doctor? Then I should leave it to the primary to explain any additional specialist investigations or treatment, and take a back seat.

Chasing your tail trying to find doctors that are worth anything and whom your husband will agree to see is hopeless. If he's depressed, and his dementia is perhaps affecting his thoughts more than expected, he's the last person to discuss the choice of practitioner with. Try more of a "take it or leave it" approach - make the appointments and carry on regardless of complaints. Your husband doesn't have to like them, after all.

It might also be helpful to inform new personnel ahead of time that your husband is apt to take things the wrong way, so that they know to keep communication clear and straightforward and don't inadvertently tread on his toes. But - what sort of thing sets him off?
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Gardena Jun 2019
sorry I added that in the wrong space
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its not a matter of does he like the doctors, if they give him test to take and
it comes back negative, he does not believe them and won't go back,
its as if he wants something wrong
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Gardena, my Mom was like that. At the end of the primary doctor appointment she would tell me "they don't know what they are doing". For my Mom it was because the primary doctor was a woman and Mom being in her 90's, thought male doctors were a lot smarter. Oh well.

Sometimes we need to use "therapeutic fibs" to get someone to do something in their best interest. You can tell hubby that Medicare will stop paying if he doesn't see the doctor and have the test done. It may work, or may not. Good luck.
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