Husband wanders while I try to nap. Can I install double-sided lock on my front door, and lock from inside?

Yes, confounding locks work great!
I have on on the front door and the door to the basement.
The back yard is fenced so I let my Mom walk out there...and I have locks on the gates so she cannot get out.

Confounding lock

try www. Alzstore.com
lots of resources there.

I have the same issue of wandering with my husband. I wouldn't advise installing keyed deadbolts that you need a key to open - dangerous in case of fire. Instead, I installed door alarms on the bedroom door and all the exit doors - very inexpensive; found them on Amazon. In case I slept through the alarm (although you can make the volume higher or lower as you wish), I also put those childproof door knob things on the doors (wraps around the knob)- he hasn't yet figured out how to press the right spots and open the door. So far so good.

Yes, you can have a double-cylinder deadbolt out on your doors. I had a client who had to do this for his wife who had dementia and used to wander.
If a locksmith gives you a hard time about it, then hire a handyman to do it.
Or you could install the type of latch that's locked with a combination lock. I put one of these on a door myself. Very easy to do. They come in a kit and you'll need an electric screwdriver to install it. Takes about five minutes to do.
If you have a home security system, activate it before you go for a nap. If the outside doors or windows are opened, an alarm sounds.

The concern I have is easy exit from your home in case of a fire. Yes, I have lived places with key locks for both sides of the door, but they weren't on every door in the home. You could do this for the front door, but you need a few doors without this type of lock.

Since your husband keeps you up at night, please talk to his doctor about medications to help him stay asleep at night. This might be the better solution.

We put barrel/slide locks on the very top of every door. My mom is 93 and can still manage the regular locks on the doors, but can't reach high enough to undo the slide locks. On the main door (we use the garage for our main entrance), I installed a deadbolt, but turned it around so that the keyed side is on the inside and the knob is on the outside, making for easy access for EMS if I have to call them. The key is kept on a key hook near the door, and she has never made the connection of that key being used for that lock. In addition, we got an alarm mat (Amazon, $125) that has a portable alarm receiver, so I can carry it with me or set it on my nightstand when I go to bed. The mat is placed next to her bed and when she gets up and steps on the mat, the alarm goes off. I'm not a fan of GPS, tracking, etc., because once she gets out of the house, there are so many ways for her to be harmed, so I do my best to keep her in the house at all times. Good luck and hang in there...

Why would you think a locksmith would refuse to install a deadbolt???

Other options such as a apple watch aren’t as safe bc you could track him to a location where he’s already run into some sort of troubles for example, he could be walking and go to cross the street and worse case scenario get hit by a car - the tracking device simply lets you know where he is it doesn’t really keep him safe as having him secure at home does ( not trying to scare you just trying to explain why tracking devices to me don’t seem nearly as safe as placing a type of lock that prevents leaving while your taking a nap, using the restroom etc)
To address a comment I saw below about fire — the risks of him walking around outside ( the tracking device is not safe bc sure- you can track him right to the location of a accident- if he walks out and for ex tries to cross the street and we’re to get hit by a car) if you have a fire alarm installed it will go off at the smallest detection of smoke and the piercing noise will wake you up immediately. Your only taking some naps here or there during the day and needing to do laundry etc so the risk of him getting outside is far more of a risk to his safety than the chances of a fire which are drastically less than the chances of him walking outside making the deadbolt the logical answer to helping you be able to do some laundry without keeping an eye on him every second so he doesn’t go outside - the times where you nap a bit the odds of a fire are extremely low and even then a fire alarm will let you know immediately much louder than an tracking watch!!

I use an Apple Watch for my (70)husband that you can use to track him with find my phone. He would need his own iPhone as well. It is an expensive option but gave me a sense of peace especially when we traveled. You can put your face on screen for him to call it.

In addition, you can get a regular type med bracelet with info printed..address, emergency contacts, he has dementia etc. that would help emergency personnel or kind strangers locate you. It’s stainless chain link (Amazon), he might accept it as a bracelet or a gift from you or your children

Good recommendations on site I might try.

I use a stick in the back sliders. Had difficulty installing cabinet locks. I also worry but am starting adult daycare soon.
If you can remember lock stove, oven and microwave while you nap. My husband never bothered with it and then one day, gas was on. I’ve used a bike lock threaded into handles of refrigerator and freezer when I could leave him for a bit. Be sure all meds etc are not easily accessible
Wonder if he would stay in bedroom with you even if he walks around and you could put a simple hook/eye on bedroom door higher up than his sight vision

Have you considered a GPS tracker that goes on shoes if he should get out?
I agree with all the others who suggest locks on the doors.

This is not a safe solution, as others have said what if there is a fire? You need to consider placement, you cannot do all this yourself. It is not fair that you are depending on your neighborhood and the police to keep him safe. Soon one of them is going to turn you in for elder neglect because you have let this happen over and over. Call your local area on aging and ask for some one to tell you what kind of help you might qualify for.

You can put baby doorknob protector covers on the doors.

Thats what I have, lock you need a key to open either side. On my front door, back door and garage door. There are locks for windows too. I know I thought that was crazy too, invest in them. I am network administrator and installed locks my self, only thing I didn't think of... have them all keyed the same before installation. It didn't cross my mind until I was done. 🤔😉

We bought a “simply safe “ system from Amazon. It was easy to install and worked like a charm. We install the sensor on each Door to the outside. That way we knew whenever she left the house. It also came with a little camera we could put in her bedroom so I would know in the night if she was up milling around. I doubt it will help you get more sleep but at least you’ll know when she goes outside

Im sorry to hear you and your husband have to go throught this at all. My parents have dementia. I am taking one day at and most of the time researching everything under the sun about dementia and alzheimers. They are not in stages of wandering out anywhere yet.
Years ago I put in Alarms on all our windows and doors for peace of mind for security reasons.
They have simple installation and they sell them at the Hardware store. It's a magnetic device that when the door or window gets open and alarm goes off when the both side seperate. They take batteries.
Prayers for you both that you can figure this out. 🙏

I had an alarm in the bed. It was a pad and when he got up I would here a ding dong sound. I also had from the sheriff office a gps for his wrist. If he wandered they can find him pretty quickly. My husband passed away 7 months ago from dementia, he was 84. I still ant sleep because I was used to him getting up a lot. The alarm I donated to hospice, I paid about $100 on Amazon. The gps is free and they come once a month to check the battery. Take all the help you can get, its a very difficult thing to deal with. Good luck!

It gets old -saying it & seeing it proven again & again: <One person cannot do it all when it’s a 24 hr job!> You must take care of yourself first. Either a night nurse or someone to relieve you for a few hours during the day is absolutely essential. Can family help? GET help somehow!

What would happen if there’s a fire and neither of you can get out? You might panic and not be able to open the door or you could be overcome by the smoke during a nap and you would both be trapped. If you have a round door knob order the plastic devices that they use to keep children from opening doors. They snap onto the door knob and they are cheap. Good luck

My husband is a wanderer. After he went outside in the middle of the night in cold weather in his underwear, I had an alarm installed. I would set it at night and if he opened an outside door at night, the alarm would go off and wake me up. I tried using it during the day, in order to take a nap, but he would always set it off, so that was the end of naps. I have a medic ID bracelet on him with name, address and my cell phone number. I also bought him a Verizon Gizmo watch. I can track him by my phone. Last month, I gave up and put him in a MC facility. I'm praying for you, Memory, that God will give you wisdom as you make hard decisions about your husband's care. Unfortunately, there is no easy way out.

I have done two things. The first is the least expensive.
1. Install Defender Security U 9888 Flip Action Door Lock on your door jambs. They are about $2-$3 apiece at Lowe’s and are easy to install. My wife is very non-mechanical and if she were to figure out how to unlatch it she would create such a racket doing so that I would wake up.
2. If you have a home security system you could set the alarm for being at the “at home” mode. The alarms would go off if he opens a door or window. Security systems vary widely in cost. I use CPI. I paid about $800 for my system and a monthly monitoring fee of $39.

Hopefully either or both together would be enough to wake you. I use both of flip locks and the alarm system.

Hi

Is there a way to have a tag made to attach to all of his shirts on the back ? One that says " Hi , I'm Joe , I have memeory issues and I'm lost , please call ...... " Don't know how he will feel about it though .
Another thing perhaps is have a dog tag made on a necklace, would he have that on ? Present it as a gift , with his name " with love to Joe" on one side and his address and number on the other . Have it edged in red so it's visible and not too long so it's not lost in the shirt .
Another thing is a nice bracelet with the info carved into it . He might like that. If you have a nice silver bracelet see if he will put it on and observe if he takes it off or refuses. See how many days it last .
A smart watch might work too , not sure what they cost . It looks normal but you can track his movements through the app . That's if he doesn't take it off .
Othere trackers to look into , some link to your phone, one is a shoe tracker and others clip on to the person:

Angel sense
Gps smart sole
ITraq
Medic alert safety home
Mind me
Pocket finder
Project lifesaver
Revolutionary tracker
Safelink
Trax


Best of luck

L

Maybe you need to hire someone to keep an eye on him so you can get some sleep!

My LBD husband is up and down all night and starts to walk out of the bedroom. I have an alarm on the house at night so that will be a shock, but I got a bunch of small bells and put them up high on a hook on the inside of the bedroom door so I would wake up if he tries to leave. Its worked several times. I also put an i.d. bracelet on him with his name, my name and phone, birthdate, blood type, and that he has LBD and a pacemaker. He feels more secure with it on as he knows he can't find his way to the bathroom these days, much less leaving the house...I am heartened by all the help on this site! I too am sleep deprived and nap during the day.

Memory, I am posting this based on your reply to Grandma.

I agree with Grandma, get someone to come into the home. If it is a 4 hour minimum great, that will give you time for your nap, to go for lunch with a friend or do some shopping.

The helper can engage your husband in activities, have lunch with him, take him for a walk, listen to his stories etc. Perhaps they can do puzzles together to allow your husband to exercise his wits?

Getting help in now, will allow you and your husband to get used to there being someone in your home. Eventually your husband will need far more help.

There is no way of knowing when your husband will stop trying to get out of the house and decide to cook something.

Please be mindful about your husband's strength. If he ever uses it against you, please get help immediately.

I have three locks on the front door and baby latches on all my door walls, he cannot figure them out. I have oven and burner covers for the stove which are awesome and fridge locks because he will remover food if I am not downstairs. I bought all these on Amazon it also helps that I have three grandchildren. I also have put bungy cords on all my gates so he cannot get out of the yard.

Can u put a tracker on him he cannot remove? Can u do it while he is sleeping?

My cousin put a key type bolt on thevinside his doors when my Uncle was alive. Yes, they are considered a Fire hazard but my Uncle was never alone. Someone was with him 24/7. I used child safety covers for my Mom. I have round knobs. They fit over the knob and just go around and around making it hard to get out. Only you know how to open the foor.

Check with your local Police to see if they supply tracking devices. With ours, its free of charge.

Memory12345, I hope you can find a solution. I just wanted to wish you and your husband well. I will not tell you when to throw in the towel. You will know when it’s just too much. But hope you will make some private calls.

Your husband did the same as my dad. He started off good with adult daycare and then toward the end of the week he was pitching a fit. We were taking him to the car and he was taking his feet off so they would drag knowing we would stop and saying you all not going to be telling me what to do and sending me off somewhere you want me to go (along those lines). Public transportation drivers were getting the riot act because they would not drive him to his home and yes he still knows which way it takes to get in route.

We have not tried the black rug but you are so right in that they study to figure a way out or around. Obstacles are a challenge. Put something to block the entryway, he would study and then remove the obstacle (no sofa, no chair, no child gate, no other heavy object, etc).  His sibling would say lock the brakes on the wheelchair. It's like what a joke. He drives the wheelchair like a car (if only you could see him maneuver - I mean backward and forward.)

Give him a wrench and the wheelchair and bed would be taken apart. For a while, I would question myself on how the bedrails would end up down by morning. But finally one day, he demonstrated (pull here and hit it).

I'll follow your post for a while and hope you can get more ideas.

Can you get a bracelet type tracker like a Med Alert bracelet with his name, address and phone number, but that can have a tracker on it/in it. Tell him its for when he goes out and gets lost, then anyone can help him get home or call you to come get him. He doesn't have to know its a tracker. I know some of the iPhones can locate the Apple watches. Thats how a friend found her son who has been knocked unconscious by a mugger.

Wandering is a serious behavior that must be addressed. My wife was a wanderer, and I, too, installed a double sided lock. Didn't help... she went out thru the window! If you're concerned about the legality of the lock, call your local fire dept, they'll know. The non emergency number for both fire and police should be posted somewhere in the house.

If you do install the lock, or any devise that prevents his elopement, be aware that not being able to get out can cause your husband some real anxiety and possibly anger. The need to wander can cause a person to be very resourceful and find a way out.

Wandering isn't only a problem with leaving the house, it can happen at anytime and anywhere. He may escape from the car at a stop sign, or wander away from you at the grocery store. It's very easy to lose track of someone. I drove to the local library with my wife to return a book. I left her alone for less than 2 minutes and when I returned to the car she was gone. With the help of the local police and fire, they found her over a mile away. Wandering is both a safety issue and a sleep issue for the caregiver. It is one of the top three reasons people seek placement in a care facility for their LO.

i would try a good quality door wedge. Cheap and depending on the severity of the Dementia Alzheimer's.

Slightly more expensive a wireless Motion sensor.

We tried a 3g watch with my dad . and also gave him a set of old useless keys with a gps locator. Thankfully we never needed them.