I get blamed for everything.

One thing about being a caregiver to a person with dementia is that you have to be thick skinned! Your husband may not so much be angry at you but at his own situation knowing he has dementia. And who's there to take the brunt of it all? You! He and you both have a long way to go and it would be best if you could educate yourself on what to expect. There are many books, YouTube videos and websites that can help. Just Google "dementia" and you'll be shown many different resources that can help you be a better caregiver. I wish you luck.
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Reply to sjplegacy

What I liked about Moms neurologist was he sat down in front of Mom and looked her in the eye and told her she had Dementia and what to expect. Even told her not to worry if she saw things not there. She always believed others over me. At the AL she told me she had to find that baby that was crying. I told her there were no babies there just all adults. She looked at the Medtech and said if she told her there were no babies she would believe her but she didn't believe me. Of course, the Medtech said there were no babies. Mom stopped looking.

It will get worse. And you will need to learn that as his caregiver he will take everything out on you. He probably is already losing the ability to reason. His processing is getting slower. Besides memory problem. Yes, it will effect you, but you need to keep telling yourself its the desease. He also will lose the ability to empathize and appreciate. He will be self-centered. For me, it was like having a toddler in the house who can't be taught.
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Reply to JoAnn29

Yes, this is the most common reaction to MCI, and it will only get worse. In fact, when you suspect someone descending into early dementia, and you gently suggest "You know you forgot (list three things) and I know I am more forgetful as well. I think it would be good if we saw a doc to get assessed as to where we stand with aging issues like memory. It will provide somewhat a baseline"--the reaction will tell you how likely the facts are that the person IS suffering from MCI by they denial. Those who are descending into this are already knowing somewhere within themselves that it is happening and are worried, and addressing that worry with denial. It is time now to make certain all your paperwork is in order for when you need to act for your husband.
As to being blamed for everything, you will need to learn to shrug that off as a common symptom of the illness, or it will continue to make you miserable. Start a diary now of incidents. Should you ever require guardianship for his placement you may need it. Composition book with no tear outs and done in ink.
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Reply to AlvaDeer

I am so sorry that you are in this situation.

You deserve better but it is part of the territory. Those closest always catch the brunt of things.

Separate the disease from the person. Get help if possible and walk away when you desperately need a break.

Take care.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom

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