My husband, 75 yrs. old having Jeckle/Hyde personality. We've been married 50 years, I'm so confused. Any suggestions?

I'd say take him back to the doctor. Tell this doctor what is going on, and NOT leave till Dr. listens to you. Also, I think I would tell the doctor these things in front of your husband, not behind his back. What I do with my mother-in-law when I take her in for her dementia, I will turn to her and say "I'm going to talk about you now to the doctor". She always says, "alright, go ahead", then she listens intently and is amazed at the things she is evidently doing. Because she DOESN'T REMEMBER doing the things that I told her doctor she does. Oh my gosh it's so funny when she gasps and says "I'm doing these things?". But anyway, if your husband is going to act up, it'll be when you're telling his doctor what he's doing that's scaring you. Good luck. Sorry about the hubby.

Thank all of you for your reply, I appreciate your input to my questions.

He has another appointment later on this month and Sunday night he has a sleep study scheduled, maybe that will tell the Neurologist something new.
The Neurologist said he is not convinced my husband has dementia/Alzheimer's, I suppose because he acted so normal during the 1st appointment. He has scheduled other tests (EEG) and said he did not understand why these tests had not already been given. Hopefully he can find the correct diagnosis and get him on correct medication. He already is weaning him off of aricept and xanax. He has been on xanax for about 20 years so it will take a long time to get him off of this. He has a heart condition, type A personality so this was given to him to get him through his last few years of work in the 90's. Now, they don't want him taking it any longer, said it is a very bad medication and should not be given on a daily basis.

We have two grown children who don't see or talk with him very often so they think he is fine, just getting older and I should not worry about him so much. He talks with them on the phone as if nothing is wrong so I understand why they feel as they do. I wish someone could see and hear him the way I do day in and day out, he is so NOT himself at all.
He had to be given seroquel by our PCP for his anger spells. This has been a miracle pill for him so I hope they do not take him off of it.

Thank all of you again, it seemed to help me writing it on this board and getting it off of my chest so your comments are appreciated.

Geri

Yes, I agree with NancyH, get him back to the doctor ASAP. Write or type into the computer everything he's doing, print it out and bring it with you. MAKE that doctor listen! That aggressive behavior could create serious problems.

Also, I just learned something myself (thnx jeannegibbs!) that I hadn't been aware of - my MIL tends to "ace" her mini cog exams too. It's called "showtiming"...folks suffering with dementia will put their best foot forward so to speak for the doctor. It takes a lot out of them. Did your husband seem especially tired or cranky after that appointment? I understand your frustration...keep your chin up. And keep after that doctor!

helped me too, I read here often but 1 st time posting, only because the situation is almost identical to mine. part of ALZ/Dementias is false impressions when with others or on the phone, daughter same way as yours, only about how well he is doing, he is fine speaking on the phone & impresses our Dr. but like you, that is not the person you are living with day in & day out. I have started a diary via a phone app & most every day can grab a few minutes to update what is happening that day, it has really helped. also a couple of really bad violent outbursts I have turned my phone recorder on, have not shown anyone yet, they would not believe it. My only refuge from this storm is something I read here, the bathroom will be your friend, it gives you a little time out. Sounds weird but works for me, of course he knocks I just say I am not feeling well be out soon. my husband "shadows" me where I go he goes, forget trying to get a full dinner together, he is within 1 foot of me, I read ( in The 36 Hour Day) that they do not want you to take any time away from paying attention to them.

I have a question if someone new reads this post, for. 2 weeks now the topic is the same from waking till midnight, when are we getting out of here, I just keep saying tomorrow, it just does not end. Also I have hidden his car keys ( he hasn't driven in quite awhile) but when I mention getting rid of the car, he goes wild says its his only way to get out if here, but I think it's presence in the carport is worse than taking it away!

Happy Mothers Day Geri, thanks for the hug! I have an iPhone ( apple) but there are many cell phones now that can record sound make videos & you can download what are called APPS the app I use to write in is called My Journal, hard to explain all this but your Daughter will know what you need. you can also search for a Journal on the computer you are using. do you have a camera that records sound & video, that will work also ( very small I use a digital) you do not have to hold it up just turn on any recording device to record those bad moments. Always have your phone in your pocket, just in case! my DR (same one as my husband) put me on low doses of Prozac in the am, truly helps me get through the day without wanting to run down the street screaming! and at night I take 1 mg of Xanax to sleep. between the two I can cope, with my husband on Zoloft (am) & Ativan ( pm) he is my nicer now the screaming at me has stopped for the most part. I have learned not to escalate a situation, just do not say anything, or excuse yourself for a bathroom break, he will settle down. my HUsband can do nothing either, he cannot connect those thoughts in his brain & forget puzzles, reading TV they cannot do it & it becomes an act of agony, only thing he really likes to do is I have recorded all old country music on a tiny clip on iPod & I put his regular earphones on him, turn it on & he's good & happy ( singing almond loudly the few words he remembers) and I can get a little housework done. I just read your original post letting all know about you, we are fairly close in age I am 68, the daughter I spoke of is my husbands & lives 25 min away and does nothing, does not call or visit, 3 or 4 obligatory dinners out ( Father's Day etc) & she is an RN, but when she does see him she does not see him as I do, I have pictures of him in disarray after not bathing, not combing his hair etc for 3 days or more, & he was a clean USN freak, unreal if he could see himself he would die! forget intervention in this matter, he screams that no one has to tell him what to do. take care I will be thinking of you until you next post

I also been through this. It does pass and other behaviors show up. I also miss the nice, caring loving husband I married. I just hope he would have taken care of me if I was sick. I wonder sometimes. Its hard but try to stay strong.

Geri I could have written your message, everything that is happening to you, I have been through & continue to go through. My husband is 82 always on the young side and a very gentle man, I now live with a someone I do not know anymore, only on brief occasions! My husband passed all those tests 1 st time around, six months later nada, he has been this way now for 5-6 years diagnosed with ALZ 4 years ago, every day I have to stay one step ahead of him as he is always going back to the Navy, or they will lock him up. a 1 st for me waking up this morning my front & back doors were wide open, he was in bed. Dr started him on Ativan to sleep which worked wonders, no getting up at night, so I finally was able to get some much needed rest, I think that is why I did not hear him get up during the night. today I will have to have those doors secured. For the confusion & anger issues he has been on Zoloft for about 6 months, working quite well, dr just up that to 1 1/2 tabs at he was starting to get unruly again in the early evening. he is at the stage where he does not know this is his home. I feel for you, guess we are Sisters in this tangled web, educate yourself on what could happen in the near future, I missed one, 3 weeks ago my Husband went berserk for 3 night, turns out he had UTI which if you look that up it does horrible things to the mind of someone with dementia or ALZ.

Thank you for the suggestions, I will give them all a try as I need help with this and where we live (south GA) not anything available that I have found.

My husband is pretty early in the process, and when I tell people about his diagnosis, they always say, "Oh, well, we're all getting older. There's probably nothing much wrong with him." I KNOW he has dementia. My daughter and his closest friends know he has dementia. Why do people who never spend time with him think they have to say that? It makes me feel so alone, like I'm exaggerating.

we all feel the same way, unless you're living that life being inside his mind for 24 hours a day, they ( other people) just do not understand, my neighbors are the same, he is pretty much ok out and around people, so they think we are exaggerating.