If I sit there and debate with him about his care, it seems like he is not intending on doing whatever it is, and it frustrates me. So, I don't talk about itCause I see this happen. I know he is trying and I am finding ways to not get upset. So, I manage his medicine, but I cannot force him to do his breathing treatments. I talkabout it sometimes as a reminder. He doesn't bathe, so I sometimes will help him clean up a little. I watch his skin and somtimes we will both go and get a pedicure. This next month we both will get one. That is a way of relaxing for me, plus he gets good care for his feet. They do a great job.
People hate being told what to do. Does he understand why it's important to do it? What awful thing will happen if he doesn't do it? Does the doctor know he doesn't do it? Why doesn't he like to do it? Does he forget to do it because of dementia?
Can you make a joke about it? "Are you ready for the gas chamber?" as you hand him the equipment. Can you offer a bribe, maybe by asking him to do it right before lunch, or right before you take him to the VFW?
It is really hard. What have you tried already?