My husband looks after his mum. He moved in with his mum a year ago because I got so depressed with him coming and going all the time. His dad was her main carrer until he passed away nearly two years ago, and I know it sounds bad of me but I feel he puts his mum first, him second and me last. He fits me in around his mum. What can I do to help us? What makes it worse, I work at a nursing home.
It doesn't sound bad, it's how you feel.
Does your mother-in-law live a long distance from you? Is that why your husband felt he had to move in with her?
Have you talked to him about how you feel? There are other options than the two of you living apart so he can care for his mother. Have you considered moving her in with the both of you? Or helping her move to an assisted living facility?
It is more about attitude and outlook.
Try to find the silver lining. Be supportive of him and what he is going through. He is trying to do what he believes is right, and I would praise him for it. Most men are motivated by the need to be the hero....make him your hero. The old rule was always...if you want to know what the man of your dreams is really like...look at how he treats his Mom.
Try to avoid this negative reaction. Try to go there with a smile and a dinner already prepared. Offer him emotional support this way..and I believe you will see a new reaction from him!
Stay positive. The one thing I know for sure...everything changes.