Husband is unplugging his ostomy; Now what?

I think my temporary solution would be to duct tape a t shirt and pair of underwear together at the waist, tape the fly also, until you can order or be given a better solution. Just having the access denied may help. Additionally, a "fiddle muff" for him to manipulate may help, these are textured items, rather like a baby's play gym but for elders, with bits of different textures, small tags, velcro, zippers, etc. that they can wiggle, twist, open, close.. My late husband became obsessed with the ID cards and photos in his combination wallet/phone case in the final weeks, he would take them out, rearrange them, put them back, tear some to pieces and throw them away, then become angry because those could not be found...I took all of them, made photocopies on heavy cardstock, put the duplicates in the wallet, added a few old business cards from his past clients, extra photos of our daughters and grandchildren, and put the important ones like his Medicare, Social Security, and ID cards away for safekeeping.

I an an RN and I am not familiar with all the appliances available for ostomies. Please ask his doctor for a visit from a wound/ostomy care nurse. These folks have specialized training in wound care and ostomy care and know all the supplies available. I am very confident one can help you find a solution.

Imho, perhaps his physician can offer suggestions.

This man is ill and he has dementia. If he is doing these things, why on earth are you keeping him in your home. This is horrible and you must realize this and the need to place him where he will be cared. No one should have to put up with this behavior, It is downright disgusting. He needs to leave - now.

He does not need to be at home--- daughter cannot stop you from putting him in an assisted living facility. You need help-- 24 hour help.

Just wanted to say that my mother has seemed to go through obsessions with her dementia and some of them fade out, particularly after we have taken some action...once she is stymied she sort of gives that one up...though another may eventually develop. For instance she was throwing things that shouldn't be thrown out into the trash bins because she was OCD about emptying especially the kitchen wastebasket. We used cables with locks on the bins, and then nothing of value could be thrown out without our noticing...she was pulling the plugs for the microwave and toaster oven out so that the time had to constantly be reset. We got a childproof outlet cover. Now she's into closing doors. And turning the exhaust fans on...that's one I haven't come up with a solution for. An electrician found our wiring too old to put in a switch with timer. If I put duct tape over it, she will probably pull it off.

You might have to get a "dignity jumper". That covers all the things he might want to pick at. Look on the Betty Mills website.

This is a problem with any thing that is "attached" and dementia. This goes for feeding tubes, IV's, catheters and insulin devices.
Most Memory Care facilities hesitate to accept a resident that has a device so Skilled Nursing Facility is where most are placed.
While it will be more difficult for you to help dress him you could try a "Union Suit" for underwear. This is a 1 piece that combines long underwear and top in 1 piece. If you live in an area where it is warm I would cut the legs and arms. Another option would be Overalls. Again 1 piece jeans and top connected. You could also try putting snaps on a shirt and pants so he can not get between the two easily.

Would it be possible to cover or block direct access to the appliance with an abdominal binder. This is a wide say 10 inches wide belt fastened with Velcro that can be worn under the clothes. You could Velcro it from the back making it hard for him to get his hands directly on the appliance. We go this with confused patients creating an “out of site out of mind” situation

ask the nurse if there's a way to tape or lock it tighter.
You might put drawstring pants on him and tie it where he can't get his hands to it as easily.

My 96 yr old Dad has a Cathiter with the tube coming out from his pen is to pee and he is always fooling with it. Probably because it isn't comfortable and with his dementia, he forgets what it is and what it's there for so he's always asking

From ostomy.org:

Many staff who work in nursing homes put a plastic bag over the pouch so that in case of any leakage, there won’t be a much larger incident. Many persons with Alzheimer’s or other dementias either pick or rip off their pouches. To prevent this from happening, many caregivers dress their loved ones in special clothing that has no openings in the front but still gives the appearance of normal clothing. One source for this type of clothing is Buck and Buck. Their online catalogue features adaptive clothing by gender and condition.

My MIL had 10 inches of her intestines taken out. She had a bag and had problems with it leaking at times. Since she lived in Fla, I wasn't there to help her with it. Wouldn't have been any good anyway. 😊

Maybe I need some education here. I thought an ostomy bag was connected to a stoma in the abdomen and collected fecal waste. A supra pubic or interior catheter is placed in the bladder, with a tube that collects urine. Mother has a catheter and while I cannot fathom the discomfort of one 24/7, she is glad b/c she doesn't leak so much.

A disconnected ostomy bag would cause a problem of a different nature, I'd think.

I hope you get some help with this, whichever problem it's causing. Mother does wear a kind of compression thing around her thigh which holds the cath bag in place, but she can't have it on 24/7. So she hangs the urine collector bag on her walker. It's pretty gross, but the only people upset by it are the youngest of the great grands. That's just too much info for them to handle.

You might contact the surgeon who performed the operation and ask for advice.   I have no experience with this, although I do know people who have.   They never discussed the issue and I never asked them.

You mentioned that a nurse will be visiting on Friday; I wouldn't wait to contact her or the service for which she works.   This is an issue now, and if necessary, the nurse can change her schedule, or another nurse can come.

Or the home care service can contact the surgeon for you to get some advice.  

This must be so frustrating for you; I hope you can get advice soon.

I am not certain the level of his dementia. We had constant problems with all this in nursing, whether it was the IVs they were taking apart, dressings, or ostomies. And boy, restraints of any kind were a thing of the past. What I found worked was a very loose abdominal binder, tight enough to close with velcro, but loose enough not to hinder flow. Just the fact this was on seemed to stop them, especially if the velcro closed at side or back. There are abdominal binders on amazon. It is worth a try. I wish you good luck.

You may be able to find special clothing to make it hard for him to access it, but not sure it will make it more difficult for you, too.

"Silvert’s carries a vast array of adaptive products designed specifically for elderly needs. The section of clothing for Alzheimer’s sufferers has anti-strip jumpsuits for men and women that resemble a 2-piece outfit or can be worn as onesie’s underneath regular styles."

https://www.silverts.com

I’m sorry, his care is clearly overwhelming and too much is required for you on your own. I can only hope you’ll be able to find a new plan and place soon

So sorry you are going thru this. I have never been involved with these bags. Hope other members can help.