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My husband’s dementia has progressed. Everyday there is a new change in his behavior. Recently, he started going to bed with his clothes and shoes on. Tonight, he soiled his clothes and he would still not take them off. His communication is very weak and he mostly doesn’t respond to questions. He can’t tell me why he wants his clothes on. I tried taking them off and he physically struggled to keep them on. I lost that battle! Any suggestions?
How do I handle this situation?
I’m sorry this is happening and really hope you’re not trying to handle this on your own. It’s become too much for any one person. He likely needs medication to calm his agitation and you need helpers if you don’t already have them
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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I just read on a post you wrote last year.
Call his palliative care neurologist if he is still around..
See what he says..
Your hubby seemed to have outbursts..you don't want to trigger those...
I know you cannot leave him in soiled clothes too long.. if he doesn't cooperate tomorrow, get help.
🙏
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Reply to MAYDAY
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Jsaada5757 43 min ago
Thanks. I have an appointment with his palliative care neurologist this afternoon.
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Maybe, perhaps, somewhere in his mind, he knows he had an "accident ".

maybe he feels a bit self conscious (?)

maybe, and I'm sure, you have tried everything under the sun, tell him it's okay, he will feel more comfortable after he is clean...

Maybe be strict?;
YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T GO TO BED WITH DIRTY CLOTHES AND SHOES. TAKE THEM OFF NOW, PLEASE! That is not allowed?"

ask him if he wants to remove his clothes himself..

this disease, and it's not JUST THIS DISEASE, it's every disease that affects the brain, the blood that infects the brain, the accidents all the accumulated accidents from years past, the cancers, csn really mess up s persons thinking, and the operations and anesthesia that goes along with operations to fix one thing or another..,brainwork's, etc... I am sorry your are going through this..

try to be calm. Maybe pull
out nice clean ones and say LOOK HIW COMFY THESE ARE!!
Want to try these on?
Do you have skin rash ointment?
abriform pull-ups or tabbed disposables are good.,

my hubs did everything opposite of what I said..
STAND UP.
No!

SIT DOWN:
No!

what are you going to do? You said no to both.

LAY DIWN: No..

😟

sometimes you just let them stew..
I walked out of the room.,,

there were no other possible positions to get him to go to bed.. or whatever the situation was.. I blocked it out..

it's been a while...😥
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Jsaada5757 35 min ago
Oh I’m sooo sorry. Your husband sounds a lot like mine. Everything is NO! I’ve tried most of your suggestions but I think they are worth revisiting. The “strict” version definitely didn’t work. When I kept insisting he take off his clothes he looked at me with his face set and said, “Stop!” Something in his voice told me to listen. I walked out of the room. I’m learning to pic my battles.

It has been a long journey. It seems every day now is a new challenge. This man is my best friend and the love of my life. He keeps me on my toes! Still, I wouldn’t have it any other way. He’s home and that’s a blessing.

You hang in there. Take care of yourself.
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If his behavior is suddenly becoming much worse, he may have an infection, like a UTI. Call 911 and tell them what you've told us here and that he needs to be checked.

If he doesn't have an infection, then see if they can give him meds for his agitation. If he gets to be too much for you, you will need to consider hiring in-home aids or transition him into a facility for both of your sakes. I'm so sorry you have to endure this situation. May you receive wisdom and peace in your heart as you make decisions. Please take care of your self and not just him.
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Reply to Geaton777
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MAYDAY 7 hours ago
UTI's CAN REALLY DO A NUMBER ON THE BRAIN!

Get that checked now.. do not hesitate..

it's not a fun infection.
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