Please stop weighing yourself down with unreasonable expectations. You "should" do what makes you feel comfortable because it's how it makes YOU feel that matters. There's nothing wrong with you for not liking this compulsive behavior. Try a weighted blanket for "snuggling" on the sofa or in bed and a compression/pressure vest, which comes in adult sizes, for daytime. Sensory tools and products for people with autism may work on your husband.
It is for reassurance that you are near and have not abandoned them. All is so confusing for them now. It can be annoying but think of how scared they must be and how they need our love.
fil = father in law mil = mother in law sil = sister or son in law - you guess by the context bil brother in law dil - daughter in law dh = dear husband dd = dear daughter ds = dear son
There are others usd but usually you can figure them out by the text of the post.
There are good suggestions above. Do you play music for him? It can be soothing. Let us know what you work out.
I completely understand!! My FIL who has dementia, is constantly reaching out to me with his hand - and he's not good at washing his hands after using the bathroom, either (though we try to sanitize them), and I'm admittedly a bit (or a lot) OCD, and it makes me cringe to hold his hand every time he reaches out (dozens and dozens of times a day), so I just end up washing my hands all day long. (I know, it's my issue, too!)
But I also have heard that dementia patients need physical contact to feel secure. I like the idea of something for them to hold. I don't know if I can get my FIL to hold a stuffed animal, but it's worth a shot!
Sorry I don't have a solution. Just wanted to say, I understand. Hang in there!
Well at least he's not screaming and threatening you. It could be worse I spose.
My folks are late 80s, dad with dementia. He ocassionally gets huggy /feely with my poor mother. He sometimes suggests further activities. (63 yrold son here. Kinda creeps me out when she tells me this stuff but I'm all she has)
Mom is watching the guy she married fade away. She does pretty well with him with the romantic stuff. Holds hands, a hug then asks him to go fetch her something and breaks up the thought.
You might consider a mild medication if things get too bad. Talk to his doc about it. How advanced is his dementia?
thank you. I should appreciate his attention but it is like stalking me, shadowing me and always touching. I don't like it but I don't want to hurt his feelings. It is so annoying. He is not taking any medications. I am just venting. I doubt there is an answer as someone said before each individual is different in their own way.
I know we don't always want to be touched our hug constantly. I'm a grown up and there are times I will hug a pillow or a stuffed bear if needed while I sleep. I know its not the same as another human being, but just another option. I would check with his doctor and review his medications and see what other options are available.
www.agingcare.com/questions/what-to-do-about-shadowing-186809.htm
www.agingcare.com/questions/tricks-for-hovering-shadowing-157075.htm
www.agingcare.com/questions/alzheimers-husband-constantly-follows-around-159973.htm
fil = father in law
mil = mother in law
sil = sister or son in law - you guess by the context
bil brother in law
dil - daughter in law
dh = dear husband
dd = dear daughter
ds = dear son
There are others usd but usually you can figure them out by the text of the post.
There are good suggestions above. Do you play music for him? It can be soothing. Let us know what you work out.
But I also have heard that dementia patients need physical contact to feel secure. I like the idea of something for them to hold. I don't know if I can get my FIL to hold a stuffed animal, but it's worth a shot!
Sorry I don't have a solution. Just wanted to say, I understand. Hang in there!
My folks are late 80s, dad with dementia. He ocassionally gets huggy /feely with my poor mother. He sometimes suggests further activities. (63 yrold son here. Kinda creeps me out when she tells me this stuff but I'm all she has)
Mom is watching the guy she married fade away. She does pretty well with him with the romantic stuff. Holds hands, a hug then asks him to go fetch her something and breaks up the thought.
You might consider a mild medication if things get too bad. Talk to his doc about it. How advanced is his dementia?
Good luck to you. I know it's so tough.
I know we don't always want to be touched our hug constantly. I'm a grown up and there are times I will hug a pillow or a stuffed bear if needed while I sleep. I know its not the same as another human being, but just another option. I would check with his doctor and review his medications and see what other options are available.