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We often did what we called "rattling the keys" - you know...when a baby is fussing and you rattle your ring of keys to distract the little sweetie & stop the crying? We'd "rattle the keys" at Mom - distract her with something totally off subject,,,asking her about something pleasant... asking about her wedding to our Dad or about her painting or even just asking what she'd like for dinner or one of the framed family photos on the table. Distract, distract, distract.
I'd also try "active listening" - smiling & nodding my head in agreement, but going to the beach in my head until the rant was over....Hey - it's a part of aging and there's no point in allowing stuff to raise your blood pressure.
End of story is that we made it through. Was able not to blow a fuse and Mom was able to vent in the only way she knew how.
I will say that the repeating with my LO eventually stopped. She barely says anything now. While you are dealing with the repeating, I'd keep in mind that he does not know that he is doing it and telling him he's doing it, will just make him feel bad, since, he can't remember it.
Make sure to get yourself regular respite time. Being with the repeating long term can really play a number with your mind.
Once my LO and I were in the ER due to her sustaining a fracture and they had to do X-Ray and MRI, so we were there for many hours. Almost the entire day my LO (cousin) said, I love you, over and over. Of course, I had to say, I love you, too. So, those words were repeated over and over for at least 8 hours. I almost lost it. lol
I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. I know its not easy being a caregiver. You are doing the best you can for your husband. But remember to look out for yourself as well. If you want to consider talking to a counselor, family therapist or joining a support group. There are so many resources in the community. Or consider getting some respite care as well.
Very difficult adjustment for me- 68 and my husband - 82.
My stress is not doing either of us ant good.
In my mother's case the loops she gets caught in are attempts to explain her symptoms. It is easier to think we need work on the floors and foundation than to think her legs don't work so well anymore. I guess you could say it is trying to reassure herself that she is okay. It's just other things that aren't.
What was it in the event from 35 years ago that bothers your husband? My mother retells things from her childhood that she enjoyed. I could almost say these memories verbatim along with her. She uses the same words each time.
I can understand how tiresome it can be to hear the same topic over and over again, especially one that is no longer very interesting.