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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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We are 80 - husband, 73 -me. Low income because of decisions made by husband.I am still working. Lots of berating of everything I do. Partly who he is and partly Alzheimers. I am attempting to get more support - very catch 22
Please call your local battered womens shelter. They should be able to provide you with advice. You may be able to connect with free legal services through them.
No one has to live with abuse. It really doesn't matter if it's dementia related or not. It's still abuse.
Many people your age are getting divorced. It's called 'Gray Divorce'. So whatever assets the two of you share and whatever alimony you will get would be settled into a divorce settlement. Then your husband, or should I say ex-husband can get put into facility care and Medicaid would take whatever assets remain with him after you get your divorce settlement. This is only one option.
Another option is legal separation and he gets put into memory care. You would retain the home you live in and if you are dependent on his income that would remain as well.
A competent divorce lawyer can walk you through what your best option is. Staying in your marriage is a bad idea. You deserve better.
I recently watched a police body cam video of them responding to a house on Thanksgiving day where the husband had frontotemporal dementia with his wife as a caregiver.
They were supposed to host Thanksgiving dinner but when his sister showed up, it was like no one was home so she got her key and walked in.
The first thing she saw in the bedroom was only the face of his wife. Her face. Then she saw body parts (face wasn’t attached on the body) so she ran outside and called 911.
The wife never believed he would harm her since he was such a loving husband.
The husband was actually kind of lucid and said basically that he was ticked off at the world so he decided she needed to pay for that. So he hacked her to death and dismembered her.
He was also very sorry and said she didn’t deserve that.
Next time your husband becomes abusive, simply walk to the other room and quietly call 911. Tell them you fear for your life. Send him to the ER and then use the phrase “unsafe discharge” and don’t take him back home.
No one deserves abuse or should accept it, even with Alzheimer’s at work. Call your local Adult Protective Services and report the situation, tell them you are not able to provide the care he needs and are not safe. Call the Council on Aging and inquire about services that could help you and a low cost lawyer to guide you on finances. Call 911 anytime you’re in fear and have your husband transported to the hospital. You can change this and have a peaceful life, I’m sorry it has gotten so rough
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Here is my post to a very similar situation as yours and what I'm doing. Reach out for help now and don't stop until you are comfortable with a plan.
Many people your age are getting divorced. It's called 'Gray Divorce'. So whatever assets the two of you share and whatever alimony you will get would be settled into a divorce settlement. Then your husband, or should I say ex-husband can get put into facility care and Medicaid would take whatever assets remain with him after you get your divorce settlement. This is only one option.
Another option is legal separation and he gets put into memory care. You would retain the home you live in and if you are dependent on his income that would remain as well.
A competent divorce lawyer can walk you through what your best option is. Staying in your marriage is a bad idea. You deserve better.
They were supposed to host Thanksgiving dinner but when his sister showed up, it was like no one was home so she got her key and walked in.
The first thing she saw in the bedroom was only the face of his wife. Her face. Then she saw body parts (face wasn’t attached on the body) so she ran outside and called 911.
The wife never believed he would harm her since he was such a loving husband.
The husband was actually kind of lucid and said basically that he was ticked off at the world so he decided she needed to pay for that. So he hacked her to death and dismembered her.
He was also very sorry and said she didn’t deserve that.
Next time your husband becomes abusive, simply walk to the other room and quietly call 911. Tell them you fear for your life. Send him to the ER and then use the phrase “unsafe discharge” and don’t take him back home.