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He retired about a year ago and only works part time at a job that he really enjoys. He's not experiencing any added stress or pressure, in fact, less than he's ever had. He has zero patience and frequently interrupts, waves his hands as a sign for me to finish (talking or showing him something). I'm at a loss of what to do. He says he's not aware that he's tapping his hands/fingers constantly. He never did this before. Am I worried about nothing?

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Golf? Pickle Ball? Building furniture?
If you are not seeing tremors of any kind, I would say more a reaction to boredom and retirement than anything else, and I think you may be worrying about nothing. It is not easy to have them around when they first retire, either, hee hee. But they are REALLY at loose ends. My mate loves to foster and train dogs, and he occupies his time nicely with that.
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Isthisrealyreal Feb 2023
My thoughts exactly!
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What did he do before he retired?
If it was high stress, fast paced then I can see someone getting impatient with the much slower pace of retirement. Thus the waving of hands to speed things up or the tapping of fingers. (quite often people that do things out of habit do not realize they are doing it. Tapping fingers, biting nails, tapping their feet and so on. My Husband, when I first met him he would sort of "bounce" his leg he never realized he was doing it and I would mention it, he would stop and in moments he was doing it again...and that was YEARS before the dementia)
Have you noticed other things over the past year or two?
Getting lost?
Getting confused doing tasks around the house?
Dressing in appropriately?
Searching for words, using the wrong word?

When was the last time he had a physical? The Medicare Annual Wellness check typically also includes a mini mental exam as part of the exam.
If he has not had the Annual Exam you can schedule it and if you have access to a Portal with his doctors office you can send a note and express your concerns. They will read it before his appointment.
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aztowisc2021 Mar 2023
Thanks for your reply. No, I haven't noticed any of the 5 things you mentioned altho he does seem to have some short term memory issues and I'm not sure if its because he's not paying attention or because he truly doesn't remember discussing things. He had a complete physical about 6 months ago ( we're really good about that because he has Type 2 D.) His type 2 has been under control for about 6 years. He did have a high stress job before he retired. This finger/hand tapping is a new thing which is why I'm so concerned.
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For approximately 2 years, my moms behavior was rude as hell. I just thought she was being an ass. Turns out she had dementia and was just trying to cover for her lapse of memory. If he is acting out of character, investigate it with a doctors visit.
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2023
James,

I bet this is more common than we think it is. I know that I missed early signs of dementia in my mother.

Thanks for sharing this. It’s refreshing to see such honesty and humility.
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According to your profile, your husband suffers from Parkinson's disease. The movement issues are likely coming from the PD and if dementia does crop up, it too is associated with PD. Interrupting you and waving his hands around impatiently sounds like behaviors you'd need to talk to his doctor about. Have you asked him what's up with the rude behavior? What's his response?

Here is a link to an article about PD from the Mayo Clinic:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/parkinsons-disease/symptoms-causes/syc-20376055

Best of luck
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aztowisc2021 Mar 2023
Thanks for the Mayo info. I will definitely look at it
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My mom had Parkinson’s disease and later developed dementia.

My mother had tremors. Meds can help with tremors and other movements. Sometimes, dosages need to be adjusted. Speak with the neurologist about the symptoms that he is experiencing.

I don’t know if his impatience is associated with Parkinson’s disease or not.

My mom did start taking Ativan along with her Parkinson’s medication (Sinemet.) I found that she was calmer with the addition of Ativan.
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My husband, recently 80, has Alzheimer's (no Parkinson's) and is constantly tapping his fingers. He is not conscious of this, and even when we hold hands in bed at night, within a few minutes he is tapping on my hand. Obviously, this is not sleep friendly, and I have to release his hand. He can stop the tapping if I bring his attention to it, but before long, it starts up again.

Another habit he has developed along with his disease is whistling. There really is no tune, just a blowing whistle. I have asked him about why he does this and he said, "It helps me." I have no idea how this works, but if it helps him, so be it.

My father who lived to be 94 did have Parkinson's, but there was no movement that I would describe as "tapping." His was more of a shaking or trembling, and it was obviously beyond his control to deliberately stop it.
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Caregiverstress Mar 2023
The “whistling” your husband is doing is probably helpful for him in temporarily reducing anxiety. If it’s a slowish release of air, like a drawn out exhale, this is most likely what it is. That’s why he says it helps him. It’s instinctual and calming.
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Just a "Thank you" to Caregiverstress. You gave a perfectly reasonable and logical explanation to the whistling. I'm so glad you did; now I "get" it.
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I'm curious as to why this question is posed although does not contain pertinent information in your profile (as some here research profiles to gain more information). I don't as I presume the writer provides all facts and background when posing a question.

Confused as to why you didn't mention that your husband has Parkinsons... did you think it was not important to mention?

If readers do not have all pertinent information, we cannot provide a helpful response. Am I confused here?
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aztowisc2021 Mar 2023
Thanks for your response. He doesn't have Parkinsons ( or hasn't been diagnosed with that yet), so maybe I filled out the profile incorrectly, but that is one of my concerns.... that he may have early signs of P. I need to check my profile again as several people have made the same comment.
I'm trying to get him to make a doctor appointment without showing him how concerned I am. I did mention the constant tapping to him and he doesn't seem to be aware that he's doing this.
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Since your profile states he has Parkinsons, please take this question to his neurologist.

Also see the first post from Lealonnie1 about the Mayo Clinic link on PD, and please read it to educate yourself further on this disease. I wish you peace in your hearts on this journey together.
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aztowisc2021 Mar 2023
Thanks for your response. He doesn't have Parkinsons ( or hasn't been diagnosed with that yet), so maybe I filled out the profile incorrectly, but that is one of my concerns.
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aztowisc2021, did your hubby volunteer to retire at 67 or did the company say it was time?

I remember when my Dad retired at 65, it wasn't a choice, it was the law back then. Otherwise, my Dad would have kept working up into his 80's as he loved the work that much. My Mom's world was housework, thus unlike a work project that gets completed, housework gets done then next week one starts it all again. Same old, same old. There was just so much gossip about family and neighbors Dad would listen to, he would just doze off.

Thus my parents did volunteer work into their 90's, so that kept them busy, gave them something of similar interest to talk about. Mom handed over some of her household chores for Dad to do, such as vacuuming [guys like noisy things]. They would walk 2 miles each day, on rainy days they would walk the mall which was nearby. It helped make Mom feel like she was having some retirement, too.
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