My mother's eldest daughter who kicked mom out of her house and has not spoken to her in 4 years calls yesterday and leaves a voice mail that we will be getting a call from Medicare and chuckled in the message saying happy holidays and she will be spending it with HER grandchildren. This is also the person who called and left a voice mail that people are prevented from coming in to see mom as the gate is tied with single piece of rope (we have a dog). I am the full time live in caregiver for my mother (87 years) who suffers from dementia-Alzheimers,parkinsons, COPD, and slight asthma. Mom will not know about the call yesterday but I did call my attorney anyway. What has anyone experienced when a call comes in from Medicare? What happens if they come for a visit? Oh, I have POA, Health proxy, executor,and have received many kudos for the level of care that mom is getting while she remains in her own home. How would you handle this?

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Redroseman, you do seem to have quite a series of difficulties with other children of your mother's alleging that she is being isolated and prevented from having contact with them, wouldn't you agree?

I'm sorry that you have sibling conflict to deal with. I'm familiar with how much extra stress it adds to caregiving and I sympathise. But there are reasonable accommodations that you could quite easily make to assist contact between your mother and her various daughters - I note from an earlier post that you objected to being asked to turn down the tv volume during a phone call, for example - and although I can't see how or why you would have any trouble from Medicare, as a principle it is part of the caregiving role to support your mother's right to contact with *all* her children.

Clearly things have become quite hostile, which makes your life harder and I'm sorry for it. But why not use this opportunity to clear up misunderstandings (for example about the gate needing to be secure - all they had to do was call the house using their cellphone, surely?) and establish regular communication channels for your mother's other children - preferably ones that don't inconvenience you or bring you into too close contact with them.
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So sorry that your sister has made herself look worse than before!
Since by her actions, she demonstrates such ignorance and hostility, I would consider her to be an enemy. As family, she may have a key?

Good for you for making APS get a card!  

Now take out the trash.

Enjoy your ice cream with Mom.
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Your sister sounds mentally ill. I am sorry for her. I am sorry for you for needing to deal with this.

I have never heard about a visit from Medicare. I don't know about where you are, but here Medicare seems quite busy without making house calls. Medicaid updates the needs assessment and budget at least once a year. Is your mother on Medicaid? (The result of every Medicaid visit to us was increased benefits, because of increased needs.)

APS (Adult protective services) has to investigate any accusation or concern reported to them. They investigate, talk to the vulnerable adult, and if no conditions need addressing they close the case. If they found something objectionable about the way your gate is secured, for example, they'd ask you to change it.

I think you have absolutely nothing to worry about. It sounds like you have everything in hand.

What has your attorney said about this? Do you have continuing conflict with this sister?
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I've never heard of Medicare sending anyone out for a "visit". Nor have I experienced them calling by phone.

This makes no sense to me.

APS will make personal visits if called to investigate abuse.
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Who was the contact person. Do you have a call back number? A Name? A title?
Did you give her any identifying information?

W h o was that person? Calling on the phone to address the dog issue?
A professional person does not become disgusted and hang up the phone without a resolution to her call?

You could have been discussing your Mother with a friend of socio-sis. Please be sure who you are talking to! Tell them to go ahead and send out whomever they want, and to bring I.D.

You will be okay. From what you said, I hope so! All this over a gate?
Helpful Answer (5)

Two crazy phone calls in four years does not warrant a call to your attorney, imo.
What is it that you might be telling us, so you can get some real help?
As you described the care your mother is receiving, you have nothing to worry about, right?
Except, how crazy is your sister?

If you are going to worry, keep talking this out, we are here for you.
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I think your sister is batcrap crazy! If she meant APS you have good reasons to keep the gate shut, and if she meant Medicare I know a lot of people would welcome a visit.. to help with the dang paperwork! You have all your paperwork in order.. just ignor her.
Helpful Answer (4)

Your sister is mentally ill, as Jeanne points out.

I would ignore her phone calls and rants. If APS shows up, they will find nothing amiss.
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I don’t understand what your sister’s point is for trying to cause trouble. Does she want to become Mom’s  caregiver? I agree that it’s not Medicare who is calling you. If it is a put-up job by Sister, she and her minion are not very knowledgeable about the Medicare system. Be very, very careful about what information you give to anyone who calls. Tell them you want to speak to their supervisor. When health care sign up was in full tilt, I got hundreds of calls each week. One agency called every 1/2 hour for an entire weekend, from 8AM to 10:PM. Whenever anyone from there called after that I asked to speak to their supervisor and it was an immediate hang up.
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I might be wrong but that sounds like a sociopathic ‘sister’ trying to spoil your holidays. And that’s the wonderful thing about cell phones, you can ‘block’ pests and other creeps from calling you. Good luck to you and Happy Holidays!!!
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