Follow
Share

Recently, while looking for some paperwork I needed at my dad's house I ran across an earlier version of his will. In the early version of his will (which was written up long before his mild stroke) he was going to leave the majority of his assets to his then-girlfriend. He'd only known this gal for a couple years! He was even going to leave her his house and EVERYTHING in it. It was stated that me and my sibling wouldn't even be allowed inside to get any contents out. Thankfully it wasn't signed or notarized. AND thankfully he is no longer with that girlfriend and hasn't been with her for roughly 10 years. I have the version of his will that IS signed and notarized which leaves everything to my sibling and myself to split equally.


When I found that version of his will, I was hurt. My sibling and I (mostly me) have done LOTS for our dad since our mom passed away in 2010. For him to even think of leaving everything to a woman he'd only known for a couple years was a slap in the face. It just makes me hate him even more. He doesn't know that I know this... and it wouldn't do any good to bring it up because his memory was affected by his stroke a couple years ago.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
I think it's safe to assume that the unsigned, invalid draft will you found was a) a reflection of the undue influence of a florid romantic attachment of the time and b) explains what it was about her that meant he went right off her about ten years ago.

A hearty chuckle and the saying "there's no fool like an old fool" is your best response to it. And thank God he had time to learn from the experience. He escaped. Be relieved.
Helpful Answer (12)
Report

I’ve vented enough about my dreadful father, but this might help.

When I was a law student and young lawyer, my father wanted to change his will about once every couple of years, and I did it for him. I did try to do my best to stay on good terms, for years and years.

When he died, it turned out that he had left everything to the latest grifter – he was good at conning people, and they were good at conning him. I still had to sort out his local assets and get them transferred to the UK.

It did hurt, even though I didn’t need or want his money. It was a last slap in the face, from beyond the grave.

If people want to be nasty, they will find a way. Protect yourself by doing your best not to care. Yours, Margaret
Helpful Answer (9)
Report

Well, it's not the current will and so I would take minute and be really, really mad and then let it go.

My mom's will has a 'codicil' in it, wherein I am dunned $1500 to be paid to the estate before the estate is liquidated and disposed of.

I didn't just 'come upon' this codicil. She encouraged me to read it.

I called my son, who is an atty and he said this was NOT legal (just handwritten and not notarized or anything.) He referred to it as an posthumous 'FU'.

I was devastated. I don't KNOW what this is for--and my YB who has housed, fed and cared for mother for 26 years was 'dunned' $6000.

After I read this, I called my YB who has FPOA and he removed the offending 'documents'. YB doesn't even know.

Oh--BTW? My total 'piece of the pie' after it all settles down? Less than $10K.

Mom did this with full knowledge of what she was doing. It hurt when I read it and it hurts (to a degree) now. I won't ever know why she did it.

My choice was to give all I inherit from her, should she ever die, to the YB who turned his life inside out for her. All I ever did was annoy her.

(Yeah, I need to revisit my emotional hot button on this. I thought I was better, so to speak, but writing about this kind of reminds me of how badly I feel.)
Helpful Answer (8)
Report
WhisperingPine71702 May 2022
That's horrible. {{{hugs to you}}}
(1)
Report
See 1 more reply
I've always thought it was a mistake to count on an inheritance. My Hub's dad has crippled his children by holding his will over their heads all their life. I can just imagine the squabbling that will entail when he passes.

My advice to you is just forget about what you saw and live in the here and now.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report

Even older men don't think with brains if you know what I mean. Maybe the exGF tried talking him into it and thats as far as Dad got.
But, I would be hurt even if he even thought it. I get the impression your relationship with Dad is not all that good.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

If it was typed or done on a computer (so not his actual handwriting), it is possible the then GF cooked this up and tried to serve it to him cold and he rejected it, hence it remaining unsigned -- and maybe that's why she's an ex?
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

My mother told me she was not leaving me anything because I had enough. Yes, I do, I worked 48 years to have what I have. She is leaving everything to my brother, although I am the one who did everything for her for over 60 years.

That was the end of my being her scapegoat. It is not about the money, it is about the fact that she has used me and that I do not matter to her, it was a real slap in the face that was just after she bought my brother a convertible because he didn't have one, he didn't ask for it or want it, he traded it in on a SUV.

It is not about being entitled it is about the fact that I do not matter to her.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

Don't assume that will was his idea or that he ever even saw the thing. The fact that is wasn't notarized or signed tells me he didn't know about it. I'd say the Ex is the Ex for good reason.

Don't assume the worst of people. Get over it.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Leave it alone.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

WhisperingPine - let's just say your dad did intent to give everything to the girlfriend. That was a mistake he ALMOST MADE, and fortunately for YOU he DIDN't MAKE that mistake. Yet, you hate him even more for almost making the mistake. I think it wouldn't make much difference in your hatred for him had he proceeded to cut you off from any inheritance.

Do you, WhisperingPine, ever make a mistake then wise up and correct your mistake? Do you want people to continue hating you even though you correct your mistake?

In you dad's case, he only intended, he didn't carry out his intention. I bet if all your ugly thoughts about your dad were on paper, in black and white, for your dad to read, would you say he would leave you in the will or cut you off?

Nobody is ENTITLED to an inheritance. It's a GIFT.

GROW UP!!! MAKE YOUR OWN MONEY. BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT HE LEFT YOU.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter