How will I get through this?

NannaJ
Do you have wi-fi and an Ipad or smartphone? There are lots of calming relaxing
music websites, if you can't go outside at times. Sometimes just listening to soothing music during your "me time" may help you get through and bring down the anxiety.
Sending you hugs, "we're all in this together" too.

Jesus is the answer! He's the only one who can get you thru.
Say the Lord's Prayer:
Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
For thine is thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, forever.
In the name of Jesus thy Son, Amen.

Read the 23 Psalm:
The Lord is my shepherd;
    I have everything I need.
2 He lets me rest in green pastures.
    He leads me to calm water.
3 He gives me new strength.
He leads me on paths that are right
    for the good of his name.
4 Even if I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will not be afraid,
because you are with me.
    Your rod and your shepherd’s staff comfort me.
5 You prepare a meal for me
    in front of my enemies.
You pour oil of blessing on my head;[a]
    you fill my cup to overflowing.
6 Surely your goodness and love will be with me
    all my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.

Sing good songs.
Smile!
Rejoice in the Lord and give Him thanks. It's like counting your blessings. When you look for them you find them, so look for good things, not troubles or fears.
I'm praying for you!

I took care of Mom with dementia until I could not anymore-- it took 4 years to figure this out. We had a family meeting and Mom was moved to an assisted living facility with locking doors--- we did all this without her permission. The story was she had won a free week at the new facility. The food was great. Beds quite comfortable. The entertainment was exceptional. There were arts and crafts. A nice library with a wide selection of books and magazines. There were visits on the company bus to local malls where they would eat at the food court.
SO- take her there and let her select a room she likes--- as you go-- furnish it when she is at her meals. Just tell her the truth-- that you need a rest as well. Be honest. If she has dementia like my Mother did--- do the royal redirection! If she does not-- get some help... a Pastor's wife AND the church secretary. After a while she will be utterly astounded and rave about all the new friends she has to sit, eat with, and have wonderful, fulfilling conversations, as well as watch their favourite movies et al. Tirah !

Have you've given any thought to mpv8ng your mum into a facility? In my opinion, it sounds like you've given caregiving your all so as best you can put aside the guilt and place her. There are other options to consider as well. Perhaps a short respite stay at a facility will allow you time to refresh and regroup. If you have siblings, perhaps it's time for them to take their turns as caregivers. Or is there someone in the family or hiring someone for a few times per week so you can go out and pursue the activities you're missing.

You MUST not let being with her finish you off. Do you have friends who you can call? Ideally, you would need to move mom to a facility, but you cannot do it right now due to the Novel Coronavirus. Come on here for support or your local church livestream.

NannaJ, you are a very special woman who should remind herself of this fact several times a day. And as someone else pointed out this is a temporary situation and you WILL survive... longer than she will... and go on with your life.

I went through the same situation and feelings with my 91 yr old mom. One day she didn’t feel so good and we took her to the hospital. Two weeks later she passed (Mar 10) just as the country was being locked down. There are some excellent suggestions here on how to stay busy but I think your first focus should be on your thought processes. We are in control of our thoughts and our thoughts control our emotions. Keep reminding yourself that what you’re doing for your mum is the most important thing you have to do at this time in your life and afterward you will be able to get on with your own life.

Ive cried, become sullen, been angry, felt unloved and used but always reminded myself that there was going to be “life after mom”, I just didn’t expect it so soon. Now this is the hardest pill to swallow but be grateful for the time you have left with her. Journaling helped me a lot because I could let it all out, cleansed of all the sadness and bitterness. Good luck.
with love and light
Sabrina

In addition to my previous post, Be thankful that you have a house & a place to shower, a toilet (hopefully with toilet 🚽 paper 🧻 lol 😂)
& a bed to sleep in . You’re able to have a safe place to stay. You don’t have to be perfect in the caregiver role...just keep her clean, comfortable & give her drink & food if she gets hungry or thirsty. You’re not responsible for entertainment! Take care of yourself too. This too shall pass.
Hugs 🤗

@NannaJ

How are you feeling today?
Thinking of you

If all advised options still do not work out, it may be time to call a professional for additional advice on how to work out problems. The point today is to isolate as long as necessary, by the enforced order of the heath department authorities, to control the COVID19 spread and contain ASAP!!!!