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Dementia. Can't and won't get in the shower anymore.

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If you have a wheelchair that can tilt back over a sink, that works for us. Prior to that we did it in the hospital bed with a plastic bag under her head and shoulders which went into a garbage can.
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Hi, I just recently learned a trick from our hospice bath aid for washing hair while giving a bed bath. Here is what you do.

1) get a Kitchen garbage bag and place it with the opening around their head/hairline. 2) place a regular sized towel in the garage bag, but under the hair (to absorb the water)
3) fill a pitcher with warm water and slowly (to not make a mess) get her hair wet, apply shampoo & lather.
4)refill the pitcher to rinse out the shampoo as many times as needed, while adding in more towels.
(My Stepmom has long hair and we typically use 2-3 bath towels)
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I use Scrubzz rinse free bath sponges for my husband. They are easy, use warm water and are inexpensive. They work on the body and hair. The dry shampoo has a fine mist and sometimes he would open his eyes. The bottles of no rinse shampoo were very cold and he hated them.
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Way back when, like over a half century ago, when I didn't feel like washing my hair, I tired shaking some baby powder on my head.... then I combed it.... there was a bit of a dust storm affect, but it came out ok, and smelled pretty good.

Last year I have tried one of those dry spray cans to use between shampoos, but I didn't like the outcome.... had to wash my hair :P
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Llamalover47 Mar 2021
freqflyer: Thinking that I would use it, I purchased some dry shampoo when I recently had cataract surgery. I never got around to using it, though.
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Imho, suggestions are as follows:
- Hair style modification - she must opt for one that does not require teasing, hairspray and other hair care products if she only plans to wash it once per week.
- Sink washing.
- Dry shampoo (yes, these products are still manufactured).
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Try the kitchen sink with the sprayer.
There is also dry shampoo.also look into hospital supplies And get what looks like a shower cap put it on her hair and then massage with the fingers great for bedridden..
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The teased, beehive style with hairspray has to go if she refuses to get in the shower anymore. If she can stand then her hair might be able to be washed in the sink.
I had a homecare client who couldn't be showered anymore. She did have a hospital bed and for a long time I was able to wash her hair in the bed. What I would do is raise the foot of the bed as far as it would go, then pull her to the very end so her head leaned over it.. Then wrap a small pillow in a plastic bag and put an absorbent bed pad ad towel under her shoulders. I had a big basin on the floor with a plastic sheet under it. Then I brought pitchers of warm water and shampoo and washed her hair.
When that was no longer possible, I washed her hair using basins of warm water with several washcloths. I did this once a week and in between used dry shampoo.
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Try a shorter style that's easier to care for. Can you wash her hair in the kitchen sink? Also can try the dry shampoos. But everything will be easier with a shorter style.
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Do you have grab bars? I took out my bathtub and replaced it with a walk-in shower, lots of grab bars and a shower chair, so I was able to shower her with ease for *years.* I managed my mom's hair -- I kept her hair much shorter, so washing was easy. She also required strict supervision to prevent falls, and an anti-slip covering for the shower floor. When she was eventually unable to get in the walk-in shower I used that rinse-less shampoo. Mom actually looked very nice with shorter hair. Eventually she will no longer walk so you can anticipate that.


Long styled hair is going to have to go.
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I purchased a blow up hair washing tub that you wash their hair right in bed. Works awesome
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BritishCarer Mar 2021
Yes, that is my experience with my wife Sylvia, several years in bed now, but still friendly and with lovely hair, washed in the blow-up washing tub once a week with a simple shampoo. It is kept a bit shorter; and that works well.

"Power to your elbow"--and hands on washing hair.
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My mom was bedridden for a few weeks and I found a gizmo (inflatable shampoo basin) to wash her hair while laying in bed. It was made of plastic and had what looked like a mini kids pool she’d lay her head in with a long chute or tube thing going down from it to the floor into a catch tub. It worked fantastic! You keep a pitcher or something of warm water to rinse with and take as much time as you need! Mom enjoyed having her hair washed & being pampered. Cheap to purchase too/ maybe found at elder depot? I don’t remember now. Good luck
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AnnReid Mar 2021
Yep, that was how my mom’s hair was done, and it worked surprisingly well.
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I use a product called No Rinse shampoo. It works great for me..My hair is wet afrer
I apply it and I have to towel dry. I love it.
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I wash my hair twice/week. No problem! I’ll go a week weather permitting! No need to wash my hair out of my head every day plus it’s better my scalp. I have fine,curly hair.
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Just wash her hair while in wheelchair....I do this for my mother...spray bottle warm water....shampoo & rinse w spray bottle/ wash cloth w plain water...then mousse...blow dry...or scrunch curls....Done
hugs 🤗
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NHWM-
I wondered if anyone caught that.

A few years ago all her hair fell out. I still don't know the reason why--perhaps she wasn't as diligent about her diabetes or was taking so many meds that one interfered with another. She couldn't bear a wig (I understand that now, they are itchy and hard to get used to). and was so upset by her mostly bald head.

She asked me what to do and I got her some follicle-cleaning shampoo and told her to stop perming & dyeing her hair every 6 weeks. It grew back in, slowly and quite thin. She can no longer hold her arms over her head to use the curling iron ( I think she was burning her hair, along with it being thin) . I guess YB saw a barbershop next door to the grocery store one day and decided to kill 2 birds with one stone. Took her in there and this dude has been cutting mom's hair for quite a while. Mom has no clue she's going to a barbershop, so it's all good.

I did notice, when I was looking for a new shampoo, that she had a case of what we would call 'cradle cap'--that thick layer of scalp cells that we see in new babies. I think she was not cleaning her scalp well enough and her hair couldn't grow through. IDK, she's happy enough now.
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2021
Thanks for explaining, Mid.

Your family has been through a lot.

I always love reading your posts.

Take care.
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There are visors that will keep the water and shampoo out of the eyes. I see them for children, but should help with seniors. Can your loved one sit on a tall stool with head over sink?
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My MIL had a perm for about 70 years, but after 90 it really got too hard to get the perm and set done. She made her own decision to let it grow out, and then just get a nice cut. She looked fine, and was quite happy when she got used to it.

I find that my own scalp gets greasy but my long hair doesn’t. I wash my head and hair once a week, when my scalp starts to itch a bit. With a particularly good shampoo and conditioner it lasts 10 days. The daily hair wash is quite a new thing, clearly pushed commercially to sell more ‘stuff’.
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freqflyer Mar 2021
Margaret, yep 7-10 day person, too. With the pandemic my hair got half way down my back. Had sig-other cut it straight across.... held my breath while he cut and prayed for the best. Actually it came out pretty good.

His teen grand-daughters wash their hair every day. But then again, they have the energy for doing that !! I would hate to see their hair product bills every month because they only use the expensive stuff.

I use $.89 VO5 shampoo :) And Pantene conditioner.
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For years, mother had a standing hair appointment on Saturdays. Wash, roll & dry and then ratted to a fair-thee-well and about a full can of hairspray to lacquer it in place. She never washed it in between times. My MIL still does this look. She has a tight, tight perm and that helps hold the hair in place. It literally cannot move.


You have to be able to brush out the hair (all of it) if you are using a dry shampoo. And honestly, some women's hair simply requires a shampoo a day. I have a really good, expensive cut and I can wash & blow dry my hair in 10 minutes. 5 minutes for makeup and I'm good to go.

My YB takes my mother to the barbershop, not a beauty parlor. She gets a man's haircut and is unhappy b/c she can't make it look nice. Well, it's CUT to be STYLED like a man's.
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2021
Why does your brother take her for a man’s cut?
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For myself, I have given up trying to shower as I have found it not as user friendly as it was a couple of years ago. Trying to wash one's hair while taking a tub bath isn't easy, so I have made friends with the kitchen sink :)

Yes, the kitchen sink can be a bit of a water park concept but I found it works for me. There is the occasional water down one's elbow and onto one's foot. I have a small plastic container that I use to fill with water to pour over my hair while facing down into the sink, what I like less water in my eyes.

I don't know if your Grandmother can be mobile enough to try that type of hair washing.
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cwillie Mar 2021
The laundry tub is the best if you have one 😉
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I used a tray similar to this for my mom

https://www.amazon.com/HAIR-WASHING-TRAY-HOME-SALON/dp/B004SBIFD6

And if you are no longer isolating after vaccination I'd suggest going out to a salon periodically.
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Try a shampoo cap. They use them at hospitals and you can get them on Amazon. All you do is scrub the cap on their head and let dry. It has shampoo in it. No need for rinsing. I used them on my mother’s head. Her hair came out clean and smelled nice.
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97yroldmom Mar 2021
I used one of these while in hospital. Due to having very long and thick hair I was doubtful that I would be pleased but it worked great.
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There are dry shampoo sprays. I think they work fairly well although if the hairstyle is tight it may be hard to distribute the spray adequately through the hair. It is at least worth a try. I can't think of an alternative. I am assuming the hair is washed and reset once a week. I recall this look with women in the 1960's who were mothers of friends when I was growing up. I of course didn't ask how often their hair was washed but I sense it was probably around once a week. It would seem that would be adequate for someone who is not very active.
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