How to travel with husband who has to urinate frequently?

I don't know about others, but I'm wondering if a urinal might offer a solution.

I was going to say the same as GA but she beat me to it!

And plan frequent stops before he has the need to go so he's better able to hold it in. Also pack multiple changes

My first thought was, what about using a condom catheter for the trips? They make a smaller bag that straps to the inside of his leg and his pants would cover it. The bag could easily be emptied as needed in any restroom.
You can also ask his Dr. to up the dosage of his overactive bladder medicine, as sometimes the body builds up a tolerance to a certain dosage. You can also ask his Dr. to try a different medication as well, as there are several overactive bladder medications on the market. A urologist can also try putting Botox in his bladder to calm it.
It would certainly be a shame to not make these important trips because of hubby's incontinence issues, so I hope you find some solutions that will help.

I'd have your sons come visit YOU, frankly. Expecting both of you to take long plane trips to see your sons just sounds like too big a potential aggravation to risk. Yes, you can have your DH wear Depends with an insert to absorb extra urine......but, will he do it? Will he agree to change the Depends as necessary? Is he generally compliant with such matters? I ask b/c he's non compliant with what needs to be done to keep his diabetes in check, so he may be non-compliant with adult brief changes as well. That puts YOU into an uncomfortable position while on the plane AND while traveling. Are you the one who will have to keep on him like white on rice to make sure he's changing his undergarments enough? To make sure he's not wet and odorous?

Driving doesn't seem like an option either since you say his driving is terrible, that would leave all of it up to YOU. Do YOU want to take on such a trip with him and stop the car all the time for his bathroom breaks? These are the questions only you can answer.

If it were me, I'd ask your sons to come visit instead. Even if you have to send them plane tickets, it's cheap at the price to save yourself all the headaches. Just my 2 cents. If you decide to take the trip, best of luck!

Lealonnie1 wrote what I was thinking. It may be time for sons to visit YOU. To be honest, I am 79 and partner is 80. Neither he nor I any longer enjoy travel and it is quite anxiety provoking whether long car trips or planes. We are VERY close to being time not to do it, and others will have to come to us. Will we miss it? Yes, it is but one more loss on the long slow slide of loss after loss. But it does become more and more problematic. You already know the issues and the options. If you truly want to do this you will have to pick one option. But do consider that it is getting too tough to do this now, no matter the joys of being there when you have arrived.

Easy solution -- sons visit you.

End of discussion.

Looking at this point by point.

Your DH has uncontrolled diabetes. He is not compliant. He will not change his behaviour, which would help the frequent urination.

This is 100% on him. It is not your problem to solve. But yous sons should be told Dad is not compliant in managing his diabetes, so they are be prepared for the fact he is choosing to die sooner than later. My neighbour did this. Al had weeping ulcers on his legs, he would sit at this computer with junk food spread over his desk. He knew what he was doing and he did not care. Al boasted about how high his blood sugar was, he died shortly after his 60th birthday.

He will not proactively go to the bathroom, but waits until it is an urgent situation.

He wets his pants at home.

He blames Depends on his accidents.

Do you sons know Dad is incontinent? If not, it is time to have a conversation with them. Especially if you would be staying with them. They need to know that Dad will have accidents in their homes.

They also know that any outing planned will be disrupted by Dad's need to pee and accidents while out.

If you plan to stay in a hotel, are you prepared to pay large cleaning fees? If he wets the bed, the floor etc, you will have to pay for the bed to be replaced and floors professionally cleaned.

Is there a reason the kids cannot come to see you?

Is there a reason you cannot go alone? Wouldn't it be nice to see your sons and not have to clean up after DH for a week or so?

Your husband drinks diet sodas and unsweetened tea. This says to me he is trying to a degree. My DH is diabetic and carries around a large Yeti and drinks ice water all day, everyday. He also try’s to nudge out his bad snacks with lots of fruit and veggies. He snacks on bowls of olives and nuts and now during the summer months he is enjoying cucumbers and onions in vinegar. But he also buys cases of peanut butter crackers and quiet often has a bowl of something that looks a lot like chocolate ice cream.
But the good news is he is now using a Glucose Monitoring device. The Dexcom 6. This thing has really helped him pay attention to what he puts in his mouth. After having a heart attack and attending two cardiac rehabs, he is walking almost every morning and closely monitoring his BP. Because he has had to add a second BP Med, which is basically a water pill, he is constantly going to the bathroom. He traveled a lot for his work before the pandemic and while he didn’t carry his Yeti onboard, he would always have a bottle of water handy and buy a case when he landed.
I know he would cut back on the liquids for the trip. I would check with a urologist to see if there was any other drug your DH could try and see if he would consider a GMD to monitor his blood sugar. My DH resisted it for years. He thought it would hurt. He says it does not bother him at all and he has been pleasantly surprised how much it has influenced his decisions. It’s a bit of trouble (to me) but he has managed it well.
DH’s insurance pays for his and Original Medicare will as well. He isn’t on Medicare yet but he wanted to make sure it was covered by them for the future. I checked and it is covered if your DH is on Medicare and decides to try it.
So I would encourage your DH to chew some gum or some other anxiety remedy while he travels and wear the depends for back up. Maybe he could practice going without the extra liquid between now and the trip. He could try a decaf tea to see if the lack of caffeine would be less dehydrating. A handheld game or an app on his phone might help to keep his mind off of the drinks. Maybe he could try one of the flavored waters to get him off the artificial sweeteners or even carbonated water with a squeeze of lime. If he isn’t willing to try reducing the liquids then maybe it is time for him to stop traveling.
‘There is an antidepressant, Wellbutrin, which is helpful for people trying to quit smoking. He could discuss it with his doctor. It comes in a generic. I suppose it depends on how big of a problem this is to him as to what lengths he would go to in order to try limiting his fluids.

Depending on your tolerance... in your home (& your son's in theirs) having a urinal bottle close by he can use could be one idea. (Maybe if you don't have carpet).

If you prefer to keep this matter more private, he will need to move to Depends or similar when out & about.

The mixed incontinence: urge (involuntary loss) but also functional (managing clothing or mobility issues) makes travel harder, but not impossible.

Some ideas... Well fitting pull-ups can be worn. A booster pad can be worn inside. He can take himself to the toilet regularly & change just the booster pad. This will reduce the risk of pullups underwear getting soaked to capacity & leaking. Take a spare shirt to tie around his waist to hide any visible accidents getting off the plane if need be. Disabled toilets in the airport can be used to assist him changing trousers if required. Carry a 'hygiene' pack with gloves, wipes, spare pullups, trousers, socks & rubbish/ziplock bags.

While I get it is not nice to just say wee in the pad/pullups when he does have control, it's a practical solution & can reduce the stress, rushing & falls risk. Then he can make his way to the toilet (without the stress) to change the booster pad after he goes.

My relative was seen by a Continence Nurse, referred by the Doctor. It was a fantastic service with lots of practical advice. "When cure is not possible, contain is the aim"! That was her motto 😃

Does DH know that you will need to tell your sons about his incontinence? You really do – we’ve recently had another thread from a woman whose mother visited (lived with father and son), urinated everywhere, and then the rellies objected strongly when she drew attention to it by cleaning up after her. Your sons and DILs won’t appreciate that problem either.

If DH doesn’t want anyone told about his ‘problem’, perhaps he has other choices: fix up his diet and fluid intake a week or so before the trip, get your sons to come, or agree that you go alone. This is a very difficult situation, but on the other hand it might be the spur that motivates him to fix up the bad habits.

Does his doctor knows he drinks diet drinks and tea all day long. Diet cokes and tea irritate the bladder making you pee more often. Its not long after I drink a diet coke that I need to go. Him not being able to hold it is a problem. Could be his Prostate.

Me personally, I would not go on a trip with him. Stopping every hour when driving...you'll never get there.

Cut out the diet drinks and tea. I just read that dark soda's are bad for the kidneys. With uncontrolled diabetes, his kidneys are already compromised.

Ask your Dr for an external catheter. It’s attached like a condom and it holds on really well . The catheter is attached to a leg bag which is easy to open and empty out. He can do this in the bathroom on his own . I’m a nurse and suggested this to a pt and they loved it! You will need to get him fitted since there ar different sizes of the catheter cap. Best of luck!

Someone on a different thread a few days ago mentioned www.wellnessbriefs.com . They were designed for astronauts and supposed to work very well.

Also, make sure you have and that hubby uses incontinence pads ( disposable and cloth ) for beds and chairs at home and while traveling and visiting.

Can you talk to local equipment providers and see if he can have a penile sheath that feeds to a collection bag which he could use during travelling periods. This would enable him to empty the bag in a more relaxed timing. Although the idea may not enthuse him as one can imagine, the bags can actually be worn very discretely and would take anxiety about having to be near a toilet or having accidents away from the journey for him.

So when he’s home he must be going to the bathroom constantly. It’s won’t just be a problem getting him to your destination, but what about the problems while you’re there. Your sons will definitely be aware he makes constant trips to the bathroom, and going places or just out to dinner will also pose issues. Tell your husband that if he wants to take this trip that he needs to change his food/beverage intake. A trial period of following a prescribed diet would be the first thing to do and see if the issue is controlled. He can’t be rewarded for creating problems with his poor diet choices that may be able to be controlled.

The Depends and other type of incontinence products are INTENDED to absorb the urine,
Tell him if he can not get to the bathroom in time to let the pull-up absorb the urine then he can change without the fear of his pants getting wet. He would have to bring another pull-up with him to change. He has to get it to his mindset that it is OK to not "make it to the toilet" and that it is OK to let the brief absorb as it is supposed to do.
There are Condom Catheters he could use during a trip. Ask the doctor about them. It should make a long trip more comfortable for him.

The added stress of traveling will make the situation worse, and unenjoyable for the both of you. IMHO, either put your husband in respite care for the 2 weeks and go alone, or tell the boys they come to visit you. It sounds like you could use a break. When the boys visit they will see first hand how your life at home is on a daily basis. Best wishes on the choice you make.

I'am the husband in this case we just got back from a trip.The 1st thing is make sure to take enough diaper's my wife is a big help she in a way handles things also may mention I'am autistic +dd which makes things slow for me.

As someone who once sat next to a man who wet freely wet his pants in our plane seats - soaking my seat and clothing as well - for the remainder of the six hour flight with a nauseating feeling and smell, maybe consider others and drive or as others suggested have your sons visit (this latter seems the best solution).

It was not fair for me who arrived at a professional event stinking of a stranger's urine and looking a mess. I don't know what the airline did about the soaked seats as another flight was boarding immediately after ours and though I told the flight attendants, they said there was nothing they could do. The next bunch had to sit in those seats too. Please consider others as well as your own comfort. Thanks and wishing you the best.

He should use the overnight version of Depends or similar incontinence garment and put a heavy duty pad into the front as well. He can then urinate into the pad and change pads in the bathroom. I would also suggest bringing extra underwear, pads, a change of clothes, and a plastic bag to keep any soiled clothing in.

Please talk with his doctor about his frequent urination in conjunction with his diabetes. He will be prone to UTIs with a lot of sugar in his urine. This can also make him need to pee a lot and have accidents. He may also have an enlarged prostate which also may make him feel like peeing a lot. There are medications for this as well.

My Mom has the same issue with frequent urination making it difficult for her to venture very far at all from home. If I were to ask her to travel by plane or make a long carried, just the anticipation would make her an absolute wreck- not to mention she would not likely enough her visit very much because of her issues with urination. I would vote for asking your sons to visit you. You and your husband would certainly enjoy your time with them much more, with your husband in his own environment. Good luck, whatever you do.

Condom Catheters with a Leg Bag. Just get the right size for condom and leg bag that he will be comfortable with wearing.

Imho, speak to his physician about his large amount of diet drinks and of tea.

How to travel? For me: S L O W L Y

Fly and let husband pee in overnight type thick adult diaper and change diaper at stops.
He could also drink less while flying

Me personally think it would be a good idea if you went on your own it sounds as if you could be doing with a break and a change of scenery would your husband be ok with this? Maybe he would feel more comfortable in his own environment and would give you the chance to get to see the family good luck

Condom catheters is what we use. It’s easy and helps a to !!!

Try using a condom type catheter with the bag taped around the leg.

Condom catheter straps to his leg. Good luck.

Axionics System is what my mother is probably going to have implanted in her for this very reason. Works for urinary and bowel incontinence.
axionics.com