My Mom had been in an AL before we placed her in LTC. Both times I said nothing to her until the day she was taken. Because, she too would not remember I told her. We told her she was going to a new apt where she would meet new people and have more things to do.
Sorry, but I don't agree with leaving them for a couple of weeks or more before u visit. They become like children. Like children they will feel abandoned. I see no problem in visiting for a short time every day in the beginning. Allow the staff to do their jobs. Mornings are usually busy. Breakfast, med passes, bathing and then its lunch. I went before dinner. I would sit with Mom and when the aide took her to the dining room, I left.
So I wouldn't get upset, I treated Mom like one of my kids. When it was time to go I said my goodbyes and left. Mom really was never any trouble but if she had been, I would have allowed the staff to handle her.
It took my MIL almost 3 years to adjust to LTC...but she did eventually adjust and now her whole attitude is greatly improved. She has pretty bad short-term memory loss and she is on meds for depression. As much as it pains me to think of having to do this for her, it has helped immensely. Also, she gets way more socialization in her care home which helps a lot. Hang in there...may it go well for you both!
It will likely be a hard day for both of you, but if that's where she needs to be, then that's what must be done.
Since she can't remember, don't tell her again. It'll only cause stress, assuming she does not want to go. Perhaps you can get her belongings over there in advance? Or bring her over, then go home and pack up what she needs in her new living quarters.
She may not like it and might be angry and/or confused, but she will adjust.
There is no good way. Make it that you have an appointment, as in with a doctor. Most places will have a recommend on how often you visit at first; that will be hard, but try it. It helps adjustment sometimes. Hoping she has some favorite things, even a quilt she knows around her. Check with the place often so they know you care and are ready to watch over her. There is no easy or good way to make this happy or right. This is one of the worst steps in losing all the many things we lose as we age. Some people surprise you in having an amazingly good adjustment. Time will tell. If you gain any knowledge as you go, please share it here. What works, what didn't. And on we go. We are all doing best we can and in all of this there are no easy or certain answers. It is just one day at a time.
Sorry, but I don't agree with leaving them for a couple of weeks or more before u visit. They become like children. Like children they will feel abandoned. I see no problem in visiting for a short time every day in the beginning. Allow the staff to do their jobs. Mornings are usually busy. Breakfast, med passes, bathing and then its lunch. I went before dinner. I would sit with Mom and when the aide took her to the dining room, I left.
So I wouldn't get upset, I treated Mom like one of my kids. When it was time to go I said my goodbyes and left. Mom really was never any trouble but if she had been, I would have allowed the staff to handle her.
Since she can't remember, don't tell her again. It'll only cause stress, assuming she does not want to go. Perhaps you can get her belongings over there in advance? Or bring her over, then go home and pack up what she needs in her new living quarters.
She may not like it and might be angry and/or confused, but she will adjust.