Primary caregiver for my mom who is in a retirement home waiting for a bed in long term care. In the meantime I’m there 3-4 times/week. Looking after setting up interim care, nurses, contact with drs, coordinator, checking out facilities, etc. Mom is also incontinent so there’s lots of laundry back & forth. My sister has never physically helped, nor offered help but did look after keeping family members updated. She asked to visit for 2 nights with her husband & special needs adult daughter, to attend a wedding & squeeze in a visit with mom. She lives 2 hrs away. I’m so tired/burnt out I said not a good time. Suggested waiting till we get mom settled and we can get back to normal. I just don’t have the energy to visit plus the extra work involved with guests. She was very upset with me; doesn’t get it & is now very hostile. She was angry about $$ for hotel. I’m now sorry I offered accommodation in the past for her to visit mom & feel like I’m now being used as a hotel.
She has a lot of health issues herself so I thought for sure she would understand.
im the oldest (76) & she’s the baby (66).
We have nothing in common & when together she constantly talks about her health & meds till I’m blurry eyed & worn out. We’ve been ok with each other till now but just can’t tolerate anyone else in the house right now. She has a nursing background of only 2 years but drives me crazy with wanting every minor detail. I’ve given her all the phone #s of drs, etc if wanting more info. It’s so exhausting & if I communicate via text/email, she misinterprets so now I phone with updates. I feel like I’m at the end of my rope with her & really fed up with her lack of empathy.
Am I being fair?