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So my 79 yo Mom has been in a beautiful memory care facility since she fell a year ago May. She is quite settled there, but it’s private pay only. I am forced to move her to a memory care that will accept Medicare payments once her money runs out. She is very much a person who needs things to be her idea and in control. I’m having anxiety about this upcoming move and not sure how I can suggest it and make it her “idea”. Any suggestions appreciated. If I come in as a blow hard I’ll get all kinds of stubborn behaviors and yelling. It’s always best if I am respectful of her choices, despite the fact that she cannot stay where she is. She is paranoid too which is difficult.

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Tell her that the charges have gone up (no need to tell her why), and that she can no longer afford it. Be a bit cross about it! Tell her that it’s a rip off of her and you both, and that you have found another place just as good and a lot nicer in terms of value for money - and care for the needs of people who live there.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Tell her that her doctor recommended it. Refuse to discuss it, except for minor comments like, "It's very much like where you live now, but they have better __________." (Make up something that will appeal to her.)
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Reply to Fawnby
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DanicaL 11 hours ago
Thank you! Great suggestions!!
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Most memory care facilities(even the high end ones)will accept Medicaid after the person has been self paying for a while. Are you sure the one she's in won't take Medicaid for sure?
I know you said Medicare in your post but it's Medicaid that will take over when your moms money runs out.
So if in fact she does have to move, I would make sure that her room is set up pretty much like it was at her old facility and just try to make her as comfortable as possible as she most definitely have some issues with the change as all folks with dementia like routine and don't like change. So be prepared best you can.
You can tell her that you know she likes things nice so you've found a nice place for her to move to that you think she'll agree is a better fit for her.
Don't fret too much, mom will be just fine when she's all settled in and used to her new routine.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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DanicaL 11 hours ago
Yes, her current facility is private pay only. She would be asked to leave once her money runs out. Great suggestions. Thank you very much!
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