How to keep the faith?

I've been taking care of my mom, now 85, for about 7 years now. Not alone, but with a 24hr caregiver. But I'm almost always there, providing support and help, carrying the emotional brunt, and some of the financial one too. We lived on a third floor no elevator until about 2 months ago. Mom used to walk down and up, daily at first, then just down, and I'd get a ambu driver with an electric chair to get her back up the stairs. Slowly the trips down became harder to accomplish. Sometimes she wouldnt want to go out the door, sometimes she didnt want to start the climb down. In any case, going down was arduous. For the last 2 years Ive been thinking it's time to move, but taking her out of home, her not being able to protest, seemed cruel to me...also, I lived on the next floor up, in an apartment I designed and renovated myself, so selfishly, and had leaving that was hard. Then about two months ago an Iranian missile fell on a high rise about 40 meters from our home. We had no option to go down to the shelter, and had no safe room at home, so we stayed in an inside room, and I covered mom and the caregiver with a heavy blanket. The windows and shutters shattered in the explosion, but we were lucky, as that was all. Mom even feigned sleep throughout the entire event. 40 meters away they were not so lucky. The building caught fire, 7 people died and many injured. Amongst the dead a Ukranian 9 year old who came here to get her cancer treated. The same day I moved us to an Air-BnB, with an elevator and a safe room. Had to dip deeply into my savings, but two months later, we are in a 3 year rental near the beach with all the facilities mom needs. But mom, the shock of the missile hit apparently triggered some form of vertigo, maybe delirium, and now in spite of an elevator offering easy access, walking with her has become increasingly difficult, and most of her days are now spent with her eyes closed. In my life I was taught that perseverance, ingenuity, hope and faith are crucial for success. I've never been a religious person in the sense of a white bearded man on a chair staring down like Zeus from heaven...maybe a little as a kid. It's been more zen, nature and energy since then for me. This whole chain of events, how simple it may seem, and how lucky I should feel, but with that girl dying, and mom's new disability since the missile attack, I had come to odds with my faith. But now I find that losing my faith like that is harming me too. I want to be angry, and I am, but at the same time, I find myself less optimistic, weary of people, and self doubting. It seems sometimes that if there is a god, or some order of nature, that it has an ironic, sardonic sense of humor, and Im not laughing, just feeling happy for my good luck, which Im grateful for as it represents to me the remainder of my faith and perseverance. I know this is a silly and personal question, but to keep meaning alive is the hardest thing Im being faced with now, as I see my mom, sort of slipping away into her own world, and the rest of the world sort of giving up because it's too busy, or couldnt be bothered.