My 92 year old mom is very independent and believes she is completely taking care of herself. She doesn’t need help with ADLs. She lives in my house with my DH and me. She does have all her meals made for her and housekeeping done for her (all by me). She is quite frequently upset about something and yells or is upset toward me, no one else. I am an only child.
I check up on her during the day to make sure she didn’t leave the water running, the refrigerator open, items a safe distance around the space heater, heat lamps left on, the toaster left on, etc. These things don’t happen all the time, but enough to make me concerned. She can carry on a normal conversation with someone if required, but prefers not to socially interact with anyone. She stays in her room most of the time. She does walk, mostly with a walking stick.
I believe all this time in her room is contributing to her mental decline. She doesn’t have dementia symptoms, but will bring up things from the past that are upsetting and then bring them up again and again. Other things she is forgetful about, and I’m not sure about her mental state. I think she is trying as hard as possible, but probably very confused and frustrated about what is going on with her.
She will not go to the doctors for anything.
I need to go out and do errands, but am concerned about her in my home. I need to have a discussion with her about her decline and how I am concerned. But know how this will go...she will become very upset with me and not talk to me, tell me to leave, get away from me as much as possible, be very disappointed in me, tell me how can I treat her that way, and blame this on me somehow.
So, do you tell them that they are starting to mentally decline and you are concerned? If so, how is this best approached?
Or do you just continue to minimize all the hazards in the home and go from there?