How to have parent's competency tested?

In order to speak to her doctor, you have to be an "authorized contact." I found this out because my mother lived in a different state than me UNTIL I HAD TO MOVE IN WITH HER. See a social worker for mental competence as they aren't going along with the 5150.

I’m surprised the hospital let her go without a plan in place.
When dad went into hospital after a fall.... I spoke to the nurses and let them know ALL my concerns so it was “on record” and they couldn’t possibly discharge him without a plan of action.
He had a full neuropsych exam (be prepared for about 5 hours) and a follow up visit to review the results. No one will debate the data obtained from the test which clearly shows that dad was not capable of driving, making rational decisions, or caring for himself. Perhaps the family doc could issue a referral for a neuropsych exam?
Youll get answers, as well as suggestions.

That doctor office is really messed up.

"I’ve obtained POA over health and finances, however feel that I run into red tape no matter what I try. I don’t live in the same town as her so I can’t make it to her Dr appts to speak to Dr directly. I tried to schedule a physical on her behalf and they wouldn’t even talk to me. Said they wouldn’t even look at my original POA docs that the attorney would have to send them over personally."

I didn't even live in the same STATE as mom, and the POAs dated back to 2006, put in use around 2015, got no questions from anyone.

I can understand they not letting you speak to the doctor directly, especially over the phone, before having the POA, but not accepting a valid POA document?? The attorney would be listed on it, if they had concerns they could CALL. Just to humor them, the attorney should have no issue sending the document(s) needed to them for you.

I also never heard such malarkey such as not letting you make an appointment for your mother - what is their rationale there? POA or not, making an appointment for someone does NOT impinge on anyone's privacy.

The POA may specify what criteria are needed to have it take effect. Mom's did not. The only real test done was by a nurse associated with the aide company we were planning to hire. She did the MM test with one brother and I present, and deemed her to be early stages of dementia.

Not ONE entity ever questioned the POA, which I provided to those who needed/wanted a copy to allow me to handle issues. The credit union wasn't too bad as two of us were listed on her account already, but she was with me when I did most of the "changes" (address, etc so I would get checks, statements, online access, etc) - I didn't actually update her address until later, by phone, because the statements were really of no use to her other than to confuse her and I STILL got no grief from them! The bank which held some funds and had her SS deposited cashed it out and closed it for me with NO problem (moved all funds/SS to credit union, to make life a little easier for me!) Only she was on the account. I brought her along to that as well, but in both cases she just rifled through her wallet and purse while we did the work. Never said anything to anyone.

Get the attorney office to fax over a copy and proceed from there. IF they still balk, I would pressure them with legal action. If not, perhaps next ER run you can intervene and have her held for assessment. I do like someone else's suggestion about getting the hospital social worker AND the family (at least step-dad) together so that she can see for herself that neither is in a condition to make rational decisions. If the social worker refuses, I would tell her you plan to send a certified letter to hospital admin and let them know that if anything happens to mom, you will hold THEM responsible, and then do it.

What is “5150”?

Mdelong, perhaps you would consider speaking to an elder care attorney and ask for a reference to a geriatric care manager. We did this with my mother in law and the woman was literally a God send because her objective and professional findings of my MIL's overall needs brought the siblings together on issues that they were in strife about. It immediately helped everyone in so many ways and also helped to put the wheels in motion to get the best care FOR HER.

Here's a link that may be helpful to you...
https://www.aginglifecare.org/ALCA/About_Aging_Life_Care/ALCA/About_Aging_Life_Care/What_you_need_to_know.aspx

Depending on where you live, see if you have a Brain Health or a Geriatric Dept. at a hospital system you like. Look for a dr there. They will evaluate her and diagnose her but may not go farther than that. Then it is up to her PCP . Get one who accepts your POA. I’m medical POA, technically after diagnosis of incompetence but I have never had anyone refuse to abide by it. I take it to the appointment, they make a copy and that’s that. You are going to have to go though, they will not allow someone else to take it in. If you have to, make the trip and go to the drs without her just to give them the document.

State laws vary in terms of the legal requirements for incompetency as well as role of POA. Seek assistance from an elder law attorney. Her husband may well hold the primary legal power as he may also be one of two POAs as is often the case. It is also most helpful to travel to her town and meet with her physician directly. If she is in the hospital, it would be helpful to ask to speak with the social worker. Sometimes it takes a major crisis such as hospitalization to bring people together. A family conference would be most helpful set up with a social worker to get all perspectives and set up a plan that keeps your mother safe.

I took my dad to a dr appt. Simply askedd doc to determine and diagnose his dementia. That was it. She asked a few questions and diagnosed him with severe dementia. Took him to a new doc. New doc said that wasnt a legit way to diagnose. Wither way it stuck and now its part of his medical record for his medicare/caid. I do NOT recommend calling the police. As a retired LEO I can tell you the trauma will never leave her memory and it will backfire on you. Also, you dont need POA to get an appt and diagnosis.

To schedule an appointment with the doctor just call and schedule, if you have to make the appointment as if it is her calling. You know most of the info, birth-date, insurance numbers....
Another option would be to schedule an appointment with a new doctor that will accept the fact that you are POA for Health. Changing doctors is not ideal but it does not make sense to stay with a doctor she /you can not make an appointment to see.
If the doctors will not let you schedule an appointment the next step would be...
Next time she goes "5150" call the police and tell them that she is a danger. To herself or you or a family member. That should get a transport to the hospital where she can be evaluated.

Have you considered letting her live with you? surely she can't live alone. Start with her primary care doctor..and she may need both neurological and psychiatric evaluations.

Have your mom evaluated by a Neuropsychologist to determine her ability for self-care. I would suggest you speak with an Elder Law Attorney to determine if the POA needs to be updated.

Like said, read your POA. It can either be immediate or when Mom is declared incompetent. If it reads when incompetent, it is not in effect till a dr says in writing Mom can no longer make informed decisions.

You will probably need to go with her to appts. Make yourself known to the doctor and staff. Just call and say I would like to make an appt. You don't have to identify yourself. When you get there, have Mom put you down on the HIPPA paperwork as a person the doctors can talk to. Once Mom is declared incompetent, then have the lawyer fax over the POA paperwork. Dr. probably won't require all the pages. Just the ones assigning you and Mom's signature. I would ask. My Moms medical read like a living will so they may want the whole thing.

Is your mother in hospital now? Hospitals often have social workers and useful people like that who can give you immediate advice.

As long as her husband is present at the doctors and hospital and you are not, it is going to be a nightmare for you. Especially if you are talking about incompetence and facilitating a move to a care home. They are going to question how you know anything from long distance, I would.

Does your POA say what has to happen to activate it? Most spouses are in charge by law when a person cannot speak for themselves. So you are probably bumping into that as well.

POAs do not give you control over your parents to do as you wish. It gives you authority to act on their behalf with their permission. Unless you have a mental health POA, then that is a different story.

You will probably need to go to her town and let people see your face and get the paperwork that kicks your POAs in.

Do you have a Durable POA? I think that's what is needed if somebody is deemed incompetent, and I would think a 5150 would apply. Others will know better, but you need to be able to open the lines of communication with her doctors. Call their office and ask what you need to do/provide to become her healthcare proxy.

A neurologist can evaluate your mom for cognitive decline. My mom's doctor did the short memory test MMSE, and then ordered a neuro-psych eval. You can frame it to your mom as a "check up" so she will comply.

How far do you live from your mom? Can you visit for a few days to go to some appointments? I think if you could get the ball rolling then managing from afar won't be as difficult.

I'm sorry you are going through this, and I'm sorry for your mom too. The loss of her sister must have been very devastating for her. Maybe some grief counseling would help her? That's another appointment you could try to set up once you get the health proxy things lined up.